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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Fem 11 de-brief thread

94 replies

EleanorRathbone · 13/11/2011 09:19

Here it is.

The pizza was excellent. The company was great. It was great to meet up with you all. I had a whale of a time. Even though I didn't get to the workshops I wanted to because I was too busy queuing for the loo.

So what came out of it for everyone? We were discussing this a bit afterwards and what I realised, is that many of the regulars here are a lot further along on their feminist "journey" (dreadful X Factor word), than many self-identified feminists. I knew that anyway, but given that it was a feminist conference and there were what seemed to me to be feminism for starters issues coming up there, it made me realise

a) that even on the feminist spectrum, I'm on the radical end (who knew? )

and

b) there is a new generation of feminists just starting on their journey who are motivated enough even at this beginning stage, to go to a feminist conference (I wouldn't have done in my twenties). This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and optimistic. On one level, it's really great that so many women who really haven't engaged that much with the meaty issues that make you drop your cognitive dissonance and liberate you, are engaging with feminism rather than rejecting it out of hand because they're too invested in their denial to go there. That's actually good news. But I'm a glass half full kind of gal...

OP posts:

HelveticaTheBold · 14/11/2011 21:57

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BelleCurve · 14/11/2011 21:56

Ok, I've emailed KB about the creche thing. I don't want them to think I am complaining for the sake of it - I know funds are tight etc.

BelleCurve · 14/11/2011 21:45

Yes, I would happily have contributed for the creche if they had asked. It could do with a bit more thought for next year as it really makes or breaks the event who bring children.

Maybe even feminist slogan painting for the little ones?

HelveticaTheBold · 14/11/2011 21:39

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ChristinedePizanne · 14/11/2011 21:22

OMG Belle - I am so shocked about the creche thing - how awful for you. I thought the women running it were really capable but I was really annoyed that there were no activities or toys for the children tbh. If I'd known I would have a) paid for the creche if that was the issue or b) brought some more stuff. Thankfully the careworkers were very imaginative so it wasn't really a problem but it wasn't what I was expecting.

Rilla - I think I saw you outside the Abortion workshop - was your baby very young in a sling? I think I may have given you a gooey look

For me, the comment you got and the way the creche was organised is where the whole gap between younger and older women was obvious. Otherwise, wasn't really an issue.

swc - I'm an ex-City person so I'm heartened to hear you had such a positive response from colleagues - I'm not sure I would have done :)

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 21:21

@ feminist power-lunches

BelleCurve · 14/11/2011 21:19

That's the way to success in the city!

smallwhitecat · 14/11/2011 21:18

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BelleCurve · 14/11/2011 21:12

I mentioned it once at work and it was serious tumbleweeds!

You may have seen the East London Feminist (ELF) contingent there which started on this very board, but I struggle to make it to the meetings due to childcare.

Maybe we could have some quick fix feminism at lunchtimes?

smallwhitecat · 14/11/2011 21:05

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HelveticaTheBold · 14/11/2011 21:03

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SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 21:01

Am up for SaF's idea and any meetups generally TBH.

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:59

Oh that's what I thought the bad interpretation was too eleanor. I didn't even think of the "mums are thick" option.

I would love to go to feMNist meet ups (children allowing). I gave up my proper job when I had children and am trying to get back now, but it is so hard. I feel like a really bungled it.

BelleCurve · 14/11/2011 20:56

Maybe we should start an feMNinst City meetup? I am a boohiss banker, and manage to still also be a feminist and a mum without too much inner conflict. It seems a shame that we should feel compelled to give up what influence and financial clout we have achieved.

Original poster

EleanorRathbone · 14/11/2011 20:53

Oh I wouldn't take that ocmment as meaning that women get stupid when they have babies - I imagine that a lot of people think mothers are more likely to be anti-abortion because they have carried babies in their wombs and know what it's like to be pregnant and bond with the baby. I imagine that's what she meant (but I'm in a charitable mood )

OP posts:

HelveticaTheBold · 14/11/2011 20:49

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SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:47

Rilla that is a bizarre comment! I doubt they meant anything by it. Probably went away thinking "WTF did I say that for? I should have just said that's a nice baby"!

RillaBlythe · 14/11/2011 20:45

I enjoyed the event, although it's never quite right is it?!

I had my baby DD with me, & we went to the Abortion Rights seminar in the morning. On the way out, another audience member thanked me for coming - "it's so nice to see a mum at an abortion thing" . I nearly spat nails at her, then swallowed them & realised she was trying to say a nice thing. Would you have been pissed off at that remark or am I being unfair?

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:41

What has been going on with occupy?

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:41

And that's why it's so important having people like you SWC working in that environment and having feminist principles.

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:40

Didn't someone make the point at the conference that while times were good the public sector grew and was a major employer of women with lovely flexiblw working conditions etc and so skewed the picture of how women were "getting on" and how much they were earning and so on? And that the private sector has been much slower to change their practices (if they have done so at all) and that as the public sector shrinks back this will be revealed?

I have also noticed in my work that there are lots of ambitious great women in at entry level, but they drop off at middle management and above that there just weren't any. This was more marked the "posher" (for want of a better word) the organisation I worked at. I was a financial services person. So the company I started at just outside london was pretty even and had flexitime and so on - but when I ended up in the city and canary wharf at more prestigious companies the lack of women higher up was stark.

HelveticaTheBold · 14/11/2011 20:39

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smallwhitecat · 14/11/2011 20:35

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SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:31

And I'm sorry I missed you I would have liked to say hello.

SardineQueen · 14/11/2011 20:30

Someone on here said that for people whose feminism is more important than their party political affiliations, maybe they should just vote for a woman wherever they are irrespective of which party. To try and increase the number of women in parliament.

It's an interesting idea, not one I think many people could stomach (!) but interesting nonetheless.

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