A game of 'Feminist is happening here'

One Facebook page - GONE!

www.womensviewsonnews.org/2011/11/victory-facebook-rape-page-is-finally-taken-down/

"My only one is a tad petty - I'm refusing to fall into the 'nagging wife' stereotype, so after asking a couple of times (hard to tell where nagging starts), I do the job myself. (Aware that actually this means I'm doing more, rather than less, wifework, but it's a baby step!)."

How is that "feminism is happening here"?

My example - partner does half the housework without being asked, let alone nagged. It's not an issue, which is as it should be.

Dump the bastard is actually good feminist advice - the amount of time some women waste on men who are mistreating or exploiting men is shocking.

Seriously though how much domestic work does your husband do the TGIJ, and are you washing his socks for him, because if you are you need to stop it right now.

Sportsfanatic - I had my own example of this - for ages when DH and I were doing DIY i would do all the 'measuring/drawing where the drill should go with a pencil' type jobs, until one day I asked DH to show me how to use the drill - we now take it in turns!

I've been a feminist since kindergarten, which is well over six decades ago, so I am pleased to see ElderberrySyrup's examples of the majority of sewing club enrolments being boys. However, I shall be more convinced that feminism has really arrived when the majority of those signing up for, say, a mixed sex car maintenance course are women! If we want men to do the drudgery and the traditional 'women's stuff' we should also be prepared to change our own car wheels and not stand around looking helpless if something heavy has to be carried (as some women do).

I have a good one.

I have volunteered to run a sewing club at dd's school. Loads of kids have signed up - and they are nearly all boys!!!!!

I received an invitation to a wedding in the post yesterday, where the groom's parents had clearly addressed the envelopes (the bride and groom are currently living abroad so it made sense for someone in the UK to do the posting).

They had assumed that DP and I were married (we're not) which I thought was a bit old-fashioned, but they had written us as Mr Initial Hisname and Mrs Initial Myname, showing that they knew that married people could have different names.

(a small thing, but progress)

Where I work, we had a 'mixed up clothing' day - someone said that cross dressing might not be appropriate (it's a school for kids age 4 to 14), so I went in a mansuit, and a male colleague went in a skirt. EVERY member of management was fine with the idea of men & women choosing their own clothes, however unconventional.

Also, dd (also at the school I work at) loves science, snakes, space & other 'male' things. her best friend at school is a boy. These things are seen as GOOD in the eyes of her teachers & they encourage her to explore her interests. (she also like everything pink, which is also fine by them)

I heart my school - I've yet to come across anything 'different' enough to really upset the staff (parents are another issue). Two mum families are relatively 'normal', and trans-gender kids (self identified) get nothing but support & can wear what they want.

Janet you are a god send - I wish more mothers were like you. Can in have your number ow, book an appt for 25 years ish?

Yeh probs but I see it all the time and it gets right on my nerves. Anyway I'm sure I don't know what I'm talking about as I only DD.

Going to bed now - too much lemon Swiss role me thinks

For what it's worth I don't pamby my ds- he puts on his own shoes and socks, hoovers the floor regularly and is made to clean up his own mess when ever he makes one. I want him to totally domesticated as women of his generation wont be standing for men who are incapable of looking after themselves. I also teach him to be responsible for tidying up after himself rather than saying 'thanks for helping mummy'. He's two.

goodkate generalising about mothers of boys, much?

Anyhow fat is a feminist issue and I've just and a big piece of lemon Swiss roll Yummy , which will probably keep my awake and oh bugger I've already cleaned my teeth. funnily enough Germaine is on the television.

Now that was a weird sentence

I don't agree - sorry. Women just seem more bothered, even though it's s f drudgery. And I said don't bite my head off - I'm a feminist myself and it saddens me greatly that women continue to pamby their sons like they do cos it just make men expect their Dw, OH etc to be their effing mummies too.

We're not hardwired to nurture.
Or at least, if we are no-one has yet found any evidence despite a lot of people looking very hard.

Goodkate, if you're interested in this, Delusions of Gender is a v good and funny book debunking the pseudoscience about the difference between men's and women's brains.

Hi goodkate, I haven't seen any evidence yet that convinces me about that kind of hardwiring.

Feminism is happening on a small scale every time somebody talks to me about single mothers or working mothers or stay at home mothers or anything mothers, and I reply in a way that raises the point that fathers are parents too. Can't think of an example, but it's quite painless and doesn't labour the point beyond making them aware (I hope) of how used we are to talking about parenthood as a woman's responsibility.

Example of namby pamby mummies and their pampered sons.

Swimming with 7 year old DD, puts her own shoes on, and I half help her to tie her shoe laces, and she did most if it herself.

2 Namby pamby mummies not only tied shoes laces but put socks and shoes on too! What hope for my 3 very capable & independent Dd's.

Feminism, yes when mothers stop monnycoddling their DS's.

Actually I think we don't help ourselves. On a fundamental level women are hard wired to be nurturers and carers so we tend to naturally fall into that drudgery role, HOWEVER, before you start biting me head off, we have to stand up to these namby pamby men who no doubt have spolit by their mummies (and let's face it many mummies on this forum namby pamby their sons).

I have trained my DH to do his bit over the past 9 years. He now agrees that I know everything, make the best decisions and am always right! .

What you've described isn't feminism happening OP.

The nagging wife stereotype is created by men so women feel that they haven't got the right to assert their rights in relationships and get men to do their fair share of the work.

Unfortunately you've fallen for it. You're more worried about being a fake stereotype than you are about asserting yourself with your husband. Feminism happening would you be refusing to do any of it, or deciding to dump the guy who treats you like his unpaid servant.

I am trying to challenge the assumption that on the title registers to a house, the man's name automatically comes first.

I'm a property lawyer, so can draft the transfer deeds as I see fit (within the law, obvs). I've done it a couple of times so far

I bought this book for DS (aged 2) and have been getting him involved in every household chore. DD (6) chose this Tshirt from Debenhams boys department and has worn it every day after school. She told me that it means there are no limits for her as a girl so I guess my repetitive 'yes you can be a farmer/fireman/policeman/truck driver. No its not a boys job' is working.

I've never found a solution to the 'not-nagging' though!