Wellbeing Thread - who's in?

they can have some leg hair applied as a 'treatment'

...with a spa where everyone has spectacular leg hair....

not unhelpful it's just something i find a bit sad really - the shortage of female time and company. i'm a mum but i'm single so i seem to have more desire for friend company and to sometimes go out and do something of an evening. most women are coupled up which in theory should give them more freedom re: they have live in childcare you'd think. in reality tough they just sort of dissapear - they are available for weekday time but evenings and weekends are out of bounds. not everyone of course but a bit of a theme.

Sorry if it was an unhelpful thing to post though - just ignore!

Yes, I can see that!

I still find it to be something that's very good for me, even though I'm sure the dynamics will change when we've all got to having children. I think actually that's the more reason to do it now - I mean, if I look at my mum, she has no real idea how to meet up with a friend for coffee, she never really learned how to socialize without either my dad there or without children there. I think that's probably both her shyness and her generation, though.

i'm guessing different among your circle lrd but i find women are less 'available' for that kind of thing. spending time with a woman with children at night is no mean feat.

Mmm, massages sounds good. That is the side of spas that I really like - I'm too broke to afford much atm, but other than that they slightly put me off because I feel as if I'm expected not just to care about feeling nice but looking nice. But I expect that depends on the spa, too.

As to wiry leg hair - conditioner? A nice shade of henna dye? French plaits? I feel I must celebrate these options.

The chiropractor one is making me think too - I ought to do something like that.

I like the parties too - I go for dinner with my best mate once a week/once every couple of weeks and it has the same effect of making me work to finish stuff because I can then reward myself with an evening off or having her round for dinner. And I think it's quite healthy to not be in with DH all the time - because much as I love him I think it's really good to keep other relationships going and so on, and I think sometimes women don't do this as much as men (or maybe it's the women I know).

I have to admit I am pretty indulgant in order to have a sense of well-being
Things I already do:

• visit spas to have massages, sauna time, etc (lots of cheapie vouchers these days for this) in fact I'm going for a fish pedi tomorrow and am contemplating daring myself to do it with some seriously long, wiry leg-hair. Do I have the bottle?
• Try to throw a party every few months - it encourages me to finish off a lot of jobs that would otherwise niggle, and the company, laughter and memories is creates have a long-lasting beneficial effect.
• Crank up the radio and dance like a maniac with my kids
• Chop up fruit for myself when I do it for my DD
• Aw there are loads more - I shall return

What I would like to do

• Get out of London for a brisk walk in the fresh air of the countryside monthly
• See a chiropractor and get my pregnancy/birth twisted skeleton back to normal
• prioritise my intellect for an hour or two a day....

That sounds likethe good kind of distraction.

I am dead chuffed because I went out with my mate this morning, and she's a runner and has all this kit that does stuff like telling you your BP and your lung capacity (?!) and anyway, mine seem to be a lot better (ie. lower and bigger) than they were three weeks ago. The BP is actually in the lowest quarter of the 'healthy' range which is really encouraging as it's something my GP warned me about a while back.

So I have a nice boost to keep walking and sleeping and cutting back the caffeine and sugar as it seems to be working!

I have to say though, it was really, really freezing this morning and I could happily have stayed curled up in bed all day ...

very unmotivated! feel a lot better physically but just don't seem to have any oompf for getting things done.

i'm also a bit distracted by a bit of text flirting going on with someone.

in danger of letting the school hours just drift past rather than using them for anything. might try and combine pleasure and yuk by doing some ironing in front of something fun to watch. as un-wellbeing-ish as ironing sounds it's part of a wider issue of when things feel smooth running and efficient and tidy i feel better and enjoy my home more and my time. the old deferred gratification chestnut. domestic chaos gradually, subtly stresses me out.

How are you feeling today SAF ?

This is a bit of a challenging week for me as DH away in Scotland til Saturday.
so you'll be seeing a lot of me on here !
DM phoned this morning and was at her best so that was quite encouraging

Just off for a nice bath now before going in to cover lunch hour at DSs school.
Nice that I get to see him there, but I've told him he's got to be helpful and not cheeky in front of his friends !

no that's true. i suffer with depression on and off and my state of mind and how i see myself/feel about myself/the kind of person i think i am changes dramatically sometimes when i'm down. i remember a friend who knew me well and had seen me in all states said to me, 'just because you feel different about when your down doesn't mean that i do. i still see saf, it might be saf being down but you're still the same person even though inside it doesn't feel like it.'

not sure how relevant that is now i've said it but it did really hit home to me how our internal state, beliefs, feelings really don't change objective reality (dubious concept but i'm not feeling pedantic).

i wonder if this happens with body image for me too - if i feel fat and like i look awful i auto assume that's how i look to other people. in a world where we're all suffering from some degree of body dysmorphia thanks to being trained in it from an early age it's probably good to apply doubt to how we think we look.

Juggling, I have a good friend teaching me, so will whizz through the belts in no time.

LRD, ahh, we ended up randomly chatting after accidentally getting our DSs in trouble... Whoops...

I understand what you mean about the weight thing, btw. I'm trying to feel comfortable in my own skin, and can't seem to, despite all the feminist reading I do, get past my own body hang ups (Please note, critical family telling me I've got fat doesn't help either). Had a weird epiphany type moment the other evening though. Had a friend round, and he commented on the fact I'd lost weight. My first reaction was "Yeah, another x pounds to go". He told me he thought I was fine how I was (and he's the kind of guy who speaks his mind). Our own perception of ourselves is different to everyone elses, because we never see ourselves through someone elses eyes, do we? We hear their criticisms and comments, but that's not seeing what they see, is it?

and so you should! :o

I dread to think!

It made sense to me - what does that tell ya? :o

dontcall - sounds good. I know what you mean about the chat - I have to steel myself to talk to people because I always think they might not chat back. I used to constantly go in with 'I really like your [item of clothing]' because I couldn't think what else to say. Luckily I generally do like clothes and can almost always find something to say nice things about.

juggling - yes, the brave babes are lovely. I don't post much so you won't have seen me on there, but about a year ago they were absolutely amazing and did as much as another person can do to help me onto the right track. I love knowing that they are there if I need them.

Actually, I don't think I'd consciously worked this one out, but one thing I hoped to do on this thread was be able to talk about things we're trying to do even though we know we're struggling - eg., for me I know I shouldn't care about my weight, but I do, because we live in a society that insists women must want to be thin. Going into the Feminism section and saying that may be a bit like going onto Brave Babes and saying 'I drink three bottles of wine a day' - you know no-one will tell you you're right, but you also know the people there are very well placed to tell you what would be better to do! Or that's what I hoped.

The Style and Beauty topic really does not seem the right place to me to talk about this stuff, even though in some ways it is similar. The alcoholic parallel is that it'd be like me going onto one of the Drunk threads and saying 'I drink shedloads, d'you reckon I have a problem' - they'd all probably say no, but I'd still feel awful.

Whew, I'm rambling again ... maybe that parallel made no sense to anyone but me!

Sounds like lots of good stuff Dragon.
If you're taking up karate look out for my DS - he's just got his black belt

< good night all Mwah, mwah xxx >

Started CBT last week. :) Unfortunately, been a bit on edge lately, but still... It's getting there.

Start Karate lessons soon, so that'll be a big confidence thingy.

Been taking lots of long walks recently, music on, drowning out the world, whilst DS is at nursery. Does a lot for the moods.

Ooh, and a big one for me, actually managed to strike up a bit of chit chat with one of the other mums at DS's nursery the other day. Usually, I stand there feeling nervous, but that kinda helped.

Hi LRD - Have I seen you on the autumn babes bus - I hopped on for a few stops recently mainly as it seemed a friendly place to hang out and I must say I enjoyed the ride

mad - your house sounds gorgeous, I'm jealous. Having rented places for years, I can swear to it that having dirty magnolia paint on your walls can be very depressing.

I think the MN consensus on a Christmas thread was that duck egg blue, though very popular, is a total bugger to make 'go' with anything Christmassy, but that is the limit of my expertise.

I have to say, I get a bit conflicted about decorating stuff, as it never fails to remind me that though my mum and I did virtually all the DIY in our house for years, my dad still believes he is the 'main' doer of such things.

juggling - no, you're fine. I'm a recovering alcoholic, I've been sober for just over 9 months, but talking about it doesn't bother me. I know it tastes nice, I just know it's not a good idea for me!

I do know people who make their own perry, but it turns out incredibly fiercly alcoholic and is apparently quite tricky, so not something I plan to try any time soon, though DH does drink the stuff.

My Grandpa used to have a job going round Herefordshire selling the genuine "perry" back in the day (20s ?) when it actually was made of pears. I heard the other day that the pear cider nowadays doesn't actually have any pear in it, which is a bit disappointing
But I feel a bit of a trouble-maker talking to you about alcoholic beverages if you've given up the stuff LRD ?