Wellbeing Thread - who's in?

Absolutely.

I think a lot of emotional stuff is also because we don't really feel we deserve to take enough time for ourselves. It has to be time focussed on something 'useful' - like beautifying ourselves. I slightly shy away from the term 'improving' for that reason, actually. I mean, I agree it is really lovely and important to get good at sport or learn a language, but I catch myself struggling to see them as ends in themselves, and end up fretting about whether I'm using my time efficiently.

It is another part of this idea that women fritter away time and money and really need to watch themselves. That sort of guilt rhetoric makes its way into a lot of advertising even of things that are meant to be indulgent ('guilty pleasures', that boak-making wink the L'Oreal advert has - it's not a conspiracy to buy shampoo ffs).

I really think we're encouraged to settle for expensive crap.

thinking about it i reckon a lot of this stuff exploits our need to be comforted but there are far better ways to self comfort than all this overpriced shite than is marketed to us.

ooh here's another (mine are all really mundane i'm afraid) - hot water bottles. even without stomach cramps there's something very comforting when feeling a bit bleurgh or just like you need to feel cosey-fied in a nice hot water bottle and a big fluffy blanket that is nice and tactile.

i think a lot of emotional problems are due to not being good at self comforting too or at overly relying on things that are bad for us as our comforters (overeating, overdrinking etc).

Perhaps I'll start re-using one of our oil burners. I love beautiful smells !
I just found a lovely mandarin and something shower gel which woke me up this morning - in a much better mood than last night after DH had thoroughly pissed me off

Snatch sleep sounds good!

It's lovely hearing about how you're doing with your baby btw. Take lots of pictures!

LRD I remember that thread where you explained that. It put into words exactly what I think.
WIf, yes Simple is probably the best, thanks.

I remember one year Santa brought me a perfume making set. Bliss!

Haven't done much on my self improvement list tbh.... I think I should scrap that list and make a new one -
Snatch Sleep When You Can
(Constantly bf'ing 6 week old and active toddler - which is lovely but exhausting )

Yes, I agree WiF. I think this is why the whole 'oh, don't be so neurotic, let your DH be messy' argument always irritates me so much on the Wifework threads. I want a nice home!

ooh will have to try lemon verbena tea - i like things that make me sleepy. i also like sprinkling lavender oil on my pillow when i'm stressed/can't sleep.

love jasmine and also patchouli.

i think making your environment nice around you, the colours you want to see and the things that you love (rather than what's fashionable or tasteful in home furnishing world), having nice smells and sounds etc. appealing to our senses is nice.

Oh, yes, and helvetica that autumn smell is amazing.

I've been walking out by the river and there's a great smell from all the piles of leaves and the woodsmoke from the canal boats. Mmmm ....

WiF - totally agree with you about smells. I think smell and touch are really important. Nothing is better than a head massage with something lovely-smelling. I grow rosemary and lavender and lemon verbena, and all of those smell amazing dropped into boiling water.

Lemon verbena tea is fantastic btw - it makes you very sleepy and relaxed (unless, erm, you think it tastes of soap).

baby lotion is a great cheap cleanser/make up remover btw. i'm sure everyone knows that. i have quite sensitive skin so have to be careful what i use. i mostly just wash with water or if i've had make up on baby wipes that don't have anything nasty in them.

i dunno. does bodyshop exist anymore? they used to have a very plain body lotion that you could add stuff to. baby lotion stinks - i think simple is pretty basic.

What type of plain moisturiser to you use, WIF, i can't think of any without some kind of fiddling done to them?

oh and if you have a very basic moisturiser with nothing artificial in it you can add essential oils for the smell you want and massage your own hands and feet and enjoy the smell. you can also just use almond oil and add the scented ones to that.

massaging your own feet is actually quite nice.

thought of another one.

treating your senses. advertising of crappy chemical products hones in on this with all the hype about the smell of your conditioner/soap/shampoo etc aromatherapy talk and really sensual imagery etc.

they do it because it is nice to treat your senses and does make you feel better.

incense and essential oils and such make my life happier - i can make myself feel a bit better simply by burning a nice smelling incense that soothes me. it's another 'treat' i think. so feeling a bit rough today i have put on the heating so it's cosey, put on a disney film for ds and lit some sandalwood incense and am sat knitting appreciating the smell.

sorry if this is random.

That sounds lovely, juggling.

I'm going to stop drinking. It's become a bit of a habit, and I'm feeling rough as wotsits today. My body doesn't need the poison, and my mind can do without any depressants.

My friend does lovely massage for well-being at her home. I went to her with a friend of mine as she offered to teach us both over a few weeks several years ago. Might think about going back to her just so she could give me a massage - she uses nice oils too. Perhaps I could ask one of my family to give that to me for a Christmas present !

i haven't read all this thread but i do understand the first post - i have also found it's taken me a long time to get to where i am comfortable with massage and 'treats' without feeling pressured into what i consider the more misogynistic beauty 'treatments'.

i am sporty so the 'health' bit has never been a problem for me - i walk, run, ski, mountain bike and used to do lots of martial arts.. all healthy but not part of the 'body conscious' movement... i think all adventure and outdoor sports are like this, it might surprise some people but honestly, the more traditionally masculine passtimes are actually very welcoming and safe places for women.

i also do yoga. i struggled a bit at first as my first yoga classes were in places that also offered 'detox' and other crap like that.. but now i've found a proper yoga shala that is more true to the meaning of yoga where everything is about not judging ourselves or our practice and accepting where we are at in that moment and being in tune with our body and non-judgemental of it.

finally, i've found some massage practitioners that i really get on with - previously i've gone to 'beauty treatment' places for massage and not been comfortable with all the 'fat reduction treatments' and 'laser treatments' and almost cosmetic surgery going on around me. i now use two massage therapists (one remdial and sport and one thai massage) which are both good and care about my wellbeing... i found both through the yoga school.

That's great.

It's quite hard getting in the mood to exercise when it's so dark and cold outside - you've reminded me to drag myself and DH off the sofa and out for a walk this afternoon.

I'm comforting myself that come Februrary, I will feel better for not having spent the winter doing nothing.

Reclaim the Night counts as good exercise, doesn't it?

I've failed on the water drinking - and not excercising yet. But i have been doing 15 mins meditation / relaxation bfore bed and its helping me sleep!! .

I'm going to try and go swimming once a week.

• I should have the time as I'm working P/T at my son's school ATM at lunch-time.

I love this thread, what a good idea! I agree it's very difficult sometimes to separate out wellbeing from all the beauty/dieting stuff packaged as 'health'.

I've started going to the gym a couple of times a week, having always been very anti-gym all my life. I'm doing some resistance stuff as I have family history of osteoporosis and weight-bearing exercise is one of the things you can do as a preventative measure. Also using the cross trainer for general fitness. Not trying to lose weight, I'll be quite happy if I stay the same weight but end up stronger and with more lean body mass instead of fat.

I want to do a short mindfulness meditation every day, I feel a lot better when I do this, but don't always find the time, and it's hard to settle to it when you're busy/stressed (of course that's when you need it most!).

Also this time of year I need to get outside and make sure I get enough daylight every day. Having a dog to walk definitely helps with that. In fact having a dog is good for wellbeing altogether, he's brought me a lot of love and happiness :)