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Original poster

controlling women during pregnancy

211 replies

Rollon2012 · 16/10/2011 13:35

I've heard a few comments over the years about the hole teetotal during pregnancy thing is not about healthy babies but used to control women.

I wondered straight away , do feminists share this view?
im on the fence generally , although I went cold turkey smoking wise (threw my fags in the bin on the way out of the surgery after getting results) never smoked since and didn't drink at all.

Or is it an excuse the pg women who dont have the willpower to abstain for drinking for 9 months to make themselves feel better??

just wondering what your views on this, (I appreciate it may be a sensitive subject)

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 20:04

I'm sorry I cant understand why anyone would smoke during pregnancy, you can feel the feotus grasping for air up thats how I knew.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 20:03

I didnt smoke or drink during mine tbh I do have a very if I can do so can you approach, drinking is one thing like I've sai quite a few times

Smoking ? surely no one codones that

I was simnply asking a question in the OP i'm entitled to my own views
I do agree someone telling you off for caffiene is insane, but alchohol

Uneducated, unbacked up,? are u drunk? all those scientists who research FAS maybe there just drunk who knows?

OP posts:
Putrifyno · 17/10/2011 20:00

I had both wine AND fags when I was PG. Not lots, but not totally eliminated either. I gave birth to a healthy 8lb girl who is now top of the class. You can choose what to do with your own pg. I would never think to judge any woman for the odd indulgence, and if it was MORE than that I would be urging her to seek help rather than waving my judgey pants at her.

Putrifyno · 17/10/2011 19:57

What WAS the point of your OP exactly? You talked of "control" but you seem to willingly take on that role for yourself? Now you are serving up some kind of uneducated, unbacked up opinion. I'd rather you served the wine....

GrumpyInRepose · 17/10/2011 19:56

again it's not your place ffs.

giving a baby FAS, smoking is a no no. well don't do it during your own pregnancies then. stay out of mine. Anyway, they're for a friend, they're not minew, honest

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 19:53

One glass of wine whilst pregnant I dont condone but wouldn't judge IYSWIM but 'having a binge' on a regular basis is a completely diff kettle of fish FAS is a big risk,
However smoking is a complete no-no it depreives a baby of of oxygen
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GrumpyInRepose Mon 17-Oct-11 19:50

fixed

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Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 19:52

it's SOOO not your place to make that decision for anyone else.

If I worked in a shop/bar im legally entitled to

would you serve a preg woman who already appeared, would anyone here serve a preg woman FAGS!!?? really

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 19:51

"I wouldn't serve a woman fags or booze tbh" Why on earth not? So you are not in fact "on the fence" at all.....hmm

do I have to explain :S

Because I dont condone giving an unborn baby FAS and suffocating it due to someones selfish decisions , like I said one glass of wine and hammering it are 2 different things.

OP posts:
GrumpyInRepose · 17/10/2011 19:50

it's SOOO not your place to make that decision for anyone else.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 19:47

well I would only do it if I was positive like if I knew the person we've all had the 'are they arent they moments' people are smart enogh to let it pass I couldn't live with myself if I didnt tbh.

One glass of wine whilst pregnant whilst preg I dont condone but would judge IYSWIM but 'having a binge' on a regular basis is a completely diff kettle of fish FAS is a big risk,
However smoking is a complete no-no it depreives a baby of of oxygen

OP posts:
GrumpyInRepose · 17/10/2011 19:38

wow Rollon

what would you do if someone was a bit..you know...fat. Would you take the risk (on her behalf)? Could you LIVE with yourself? thanks for the coffee though, phew!

EdlessAllenPoe · 17/10/2011 19:38

oh the happy friday afternoons of late mat leave, popping a bottle of gin and a whole shedload of tonic into the trolley...to consume a single gin absolutely annihilated with tonic in the evening, whilst DH got merrily toasted on the rest...

refusal of service would have prompted a stiff letter to Justin King!

Putrifyno · 17/10/2011 19:36

I spent two weeks on the antenatal work due to transverse lie. The day of my planned cs, dd turned head down. They sent me home. I was stressed out beyond belief and 39 weeks pg. That evening, to celebrate, we went to the pub. I had a lovely large glass of wine. The pub regulars all joked that I looked like I might pop at any minute and started a sweepstake. Then we picked up a chinese takeaway.

I would have cheerfully lumped anyone who "judged" me that night. Strangely - no-one did.

Putrifyno · 17/10/2011 19:29

"I wouldn't serve a woman fags or booze tbh" Why on earth not? So you are not in fact "on the fence" at all.....Hmm

TheRealMBJ · 17/10/2011 19:20

Blush decision.

TheRealMBJ · 17/10/2011 19:20

Why not? It isn't against the law to drink or smoke? Who are you to make that vision for her?

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 19:15

I wouldn't serve a woman fags or booze tbh but you cant be expected to go without caff. especially how tired you get aslong as you drink more water than caff. it'll balance out I limited myself to one 20ml cup of coffee a day as that was what was advised.

to make myself clear I dont condone boozin whilst pregnant nothing worse than a heavily pregnant woman 'largin it' (no pun intended)

OP posts:
EdlessAllenPoe · 17/10/2011 18:07

to which the answer is, surely 'yes, should you be serving it?'

PamBeesly · 17/10/2011 18:04

Bloody cheek is right TFMDV. I am currently pregnant and refrain from alcohol because I'm afraid of all the conflicting advice, some advice says its ok, others advice warns against it, I'm avoiding it now, this is my first pregnancy so I really don't know.
I am Shock at the men I've heard about telling women to not have coke, alcohol,coffee etc, its no ones business. How many times have they been pregnant? Gobshites
I also agree with the poster who said there needs to be more of a focus on the inseminator.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 17/10/2011 15:27

Wasnt there a thread once about a woman who had bought a coffee in starbucks or somewhere and the young man at the counter said 'should you be drinking this?'

bloody cheek

davedavidson · 17/10/2011 15:23

Exactly roll on. But that's my point, a random man thinks I don't know how to look after myself. I do believe that the way women are treated during pregnancy is misogynist. It puts us back a thousand years and assumes we are much less intelligent than men.

Hardly. Some pregnant women genuinly don't have a clue and drink/eat things they shouldn't anyway. A simple reminder never hurts

cecilyparsley · 17/10/2011 11:46

as I understand it recent research indicates that the health of a baby is affected by lots of things that both parents do prior to conception.. epigenetics and what have you.

I think it could also be successfully argued that the way a pregnant woman is treated by other people will affect her mental and emotional state and this will affect the baby.

My point is that, when it comes to influences on the health of unborn children we can draw a circle as large or small as we want.
Multiple influences will feed in and affect the child

BlingLoving · 17/10/2011 10:11

Exactly roll on. But that's my point, a random man thinks I don't know how to look after myself. I do believe that the way women are treated during pregnancy is misogynist. It puts us back a thousand years and assumes we are much less intelligent than men.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 17/10/2011 10:09

Caffeine! He was concerned I didn't know that coke had caffeine!!

I pointed out politely that as I was at a work function out of duty and couldn't drink wine (I did in fact drink sometimes but not that night) I needed something to keep me awake!

FFS!!!! you can drink caffiene when your pregnant!¬ actually my childless 19 year old friend did something very similar, I wanted another coke and I got 'maybe you should have a coke too much caffiene is not good for the baby' it was very humiliating felt like slapping her other people were there.

OP posts:
EdlessAllenPoe · 17/10/2011 09:42

"
My understanding is the effects of small amounts of alcohol in pregnancy are not clear, but doctors know that it does cross the placenta and think it may affect a baby's developing brain."

you know what this concern lead to? Research! ...and you know what that research found? ......no association between birth defects/ mc/ disability and small amounts of booze.

this is why conjectures should always be checked with research.

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