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Original poster

can't believe this attitude re: rape and from women!

33 replies

Curiousmama · 06/10/2011 13:14

I was at my art group this week and somehow we got talking about rape? Then the talk got to men's opinons on 'she's asking for it' etc.. and also what the victim wears etc. enticing rape Hmm

I said you'd be amazed how many women have been raped and haven't even reported it. I can count on 2 hands women I know who have. One friend twice the second time gang raped. One of the women said 'but fancy putting yourself in that situation?' and also said 'how do these women come across such men?' Shock She's a nurse and usually seems very educated. The other women weren't much help either. I was incensed. I said if I walk into a room naked and there's 20 men there they have no right whatsover to touch my body. Obviously will fall on deaf ears but I was so angry and sad too. I'll still go to the group but will try to ignore any stupid debates. If my own mother were there she'd have gone off it bless her Grin

OP posts:
sunshineandbooks · 06/10/2011 14:23

The idea behind this is similar to the apology issued by Bristol for its part in the British Slave Trade. It's not about making an apology to the victims (who are all long gone) but about acknowledging that what went on in the past was wrong because the victims are equal to their 'masters' and should have had the same human rights.

By openly stating this it helps to build bridges between descendants on both sides and reduce the likelihood of future people from that group (whether they be women or black people) being future victims of other forms of discrimination.

That's my take on it, anyway.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 06/10/2011 14:19

Certainly seems that way. I just got such a shock though as the worst accuser was a long standing nurse Sad

OP posts:
Tianc · 06/10/2011 13:54

Yep, Just World Syndrome in all it's ugliness.

Rape happens to other people because they do something to cause it. I won't do anything to cause it, so it won't happen to me.

Uppity · 06/10/2011 13:51

Oh but stupid people who are desperate to blame women for rape (because it makes them feel safer from it) aren't exactly known for their sensitivity CM.

Not just stupid, very crass as well.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 06/10/2011 13:36

Could be? Even so I found it rather insensitive as they were talking about dear friends of mine.

OP posts:
vigglewiggle · 06/10/2011 13:35

To look at it another way - perhaps the women were scared by your revelation. Perhaps they needed to blame the woman in their own minds in order to convince themselves that it could never happen to them.

I'd like to think this was the truth.

Original poster
Curiousmama · 06/10/2011 13:30

Well I was almost kidnapped in Spain and goodness knows what would've happened if I hadn't had a friend help me? Maybe if they'd experienced anything close to rape they'd have more sympathy?

OP posts:
Uppity · 06/10/2011 13:20

TBH I'm not surprised.

We live in a culture which blames women for rape and so it's not surprising that women, as well as men, blame rape victims. Even rape victims often blame themselves.

You have to really think about it, to challenge your own views on rape and most people, male or female, don't really want to think about it because it's too tough.

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