Facebook supports rape?

I think you might have changed your name since you first posted on the thread, but it was at the end of your first post, if it is still there. I'm sure it will take the heat out if things if you find it and can clarify- nobody wants anyone to be distressed, I'm convinced of that much.

come back at the meet up= wtf? oh this is truly strange bof, hardly anyone here is going to the meet up as far as i know.

what come back?

this is now officially out of hand. really upset by this now

howwid

nicely reductive there.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to agree with everything any other woman says, or there could be no discussion on mumsnet. I might be wrong, and haven't scrolled back, but all I remember of your entrance on this thread was to finger-wag at people who Rhubarb had felt upset by. I do understand why she felt upset, but I believe she has over-personalised a disagreement with her posts as an attack on her character. I also recall a dark hint at some kind of comeback to this whole sorry debacle at the forthcoming Christmas meet-up, so I'm not really buying the injured tone about the sisterhood here, sorry.

Come on, we are better than this, surely? Can't we discuss things more effectively at a better hour of the day tomorrow when feelings aren't running so high?

I've not been here long. I don't think I've encountered you before, so there's no history there for me. I am getting the feeling that you have a certain pov regarding feminism and you are seeking evidence to back that up - specifically reasons why you can say you were driven out by feminists or forced to reject feminist ideology. On this thread, you seem to have picked and picked, imho to provoke a reaction, even a mild one will do. That was about all you got, but enough for a decent flounce I suppose.

Seen this plenty of times elsewhere. It just comes across as rude, that's all. But, hopefully you got what you wanted and can skip along your way.

You tipped up on this section tonight and posted that the MN feminists are all bullies (now deleted) and a bunch of other unwarranted, aggressive and weirdly incoherent stuff (much of which has been deleted) and then whinge that your point of view hasn't been respected and that the howwid feminists have been cruel to you?

you see, i haven;t actually posted on anything rhubarb has said. merely the feminist response to it, the apologies that should be forthcoming etc..

merely by being rhubarbs friend my psots have been what i see as being attacked.

do you not see the complete irony of it all? how my opinion as a woman has been reduced....by feminists? how i have to almost say ' oy, hold on a minute, don't be presuming i dont know, i have no knowledge.

i kinda give up with feminism tbh., there are so many inconsistancies on mn that go unchallanged by the highly influential feminists - stuff i have challenged singularly.

and the rest speaks for itself - reductive reasoning - i must not have an opinion, i must, be drunk or attention seeking. i mean its really difficult when people just wnt say - 'ok custy, see your point...etc' but its about delivery as i started with.

you can say that you dont agree without accusing someone of being drunk or attention seeking or just posting they haven't got their own mind and want to defend their friend .

you see the feminism topic to me is a topic where you know you are going to get flamed unless you agree with the matriarchy. shame really. so many topics have won me over the years, not this. i have t enter into competitive stories or prove myself in some way - jut a bit rubbish, a chance for gossip, note me down on a fake spreadsheet - whatever, not for me, take me at my word or dotn. but dont infer that i have to legitimise myself this way, its cruel actually

Custardo, this is my last post on this thread, btw.

No one is dismissing your experience, regardless of how much or little of a backstory anyone has posted. I do feel sad that you've suffered. Very sad, in fact, to an extent I don't think you'd recognise.

I understand you and rhubarb are friends. But please. Don't let that be your sole reason for defending her. Read this thread as someone detatched from the people involved. Should I have posted something upsetting on this thread, I'd have expected the people I call friends, sisters or any other name (and they know who they are) to call me up on it. They would, and in my early days in this section, they frequently did. And I'm glad they did.

Please recognise that it is not helpful to tell a rape victim that there are "signs" that make a potential rapist noticable. It doesn't help. If anything, for a lot of people, it'll make things worse. I'm not sure how you felt internally about those posts, but they were the cause of my flashbacks. It may be worth noting that several people related their stories after that. Please approach this thread without the anger you seem to be feeling right now. It's natural that you may wish to support your friend. But would you really accept her telling you that you could have prevented your experience?

I wish you the best, and I never intended to belittle your experiences. I'm sorry you read my posts in such a manner. I merely tried to point out why myself, among so many people, had problems with what rhubarb had said, and why we responded the way we did.

I love your posts on the other parts of MN, but these posts just clash so much... I find it hard to reconcile them. I wasn't trying the 'easier to' option

giyadas, i have had to defend myself against every other poster here. so please. please. don't say that i have ignored you, rather recogise that i have had to defend myself against muliple posters. and maybe my intenton wasnl;t actually to start a bunfight, and that maybe im really busy typing posts.

or it it easier to just say im the kinda person who starts bunfights? cos thats a bit mean no.>?

I posted a very reasonable post to you Custardo, but you ignored it in favour of starting a bunfight. I think that makes your motives clear.
I didn't dismiss your opinion, but you dismissed everything that you couldn't rail against.

many are dismissing my opinion.

its less valid apparently because i havent typed up a back story.

my story is MINE and my opinion is just as valid

its fine derail belittle whatever - make my posts seem insignificant.

say my words are not valid becuase

i am seeking attention
i am rhubarbs friend
i dont hold my own opinion
i am drunk!!!

cheers feminists.

SGM, I'm ok right now. Better than I have been, anyway. But I am stepping away, regardless, before I let rip. Thank you, btw :)

custardo, for goodness' sake read my posts, you'll see what I said. You pretending to be another voice agreeing Rhubarb deserves an apology carries less weight when you are clearly not interested in the actual subject but only in your friend. It's not rocket science. Your opinion otherwise is doubtless fine, but if you'd cared about the actual topic, you'd have posted about it, not just about your mate.

Then don't let the screen door slam you on the butt as you leave the Feminism room.

sorry is that then competitive as i previously mentioned?

oh ignore my feelings them becuase i am attention seeking clearly

SGM. and me? my pain? my experiences?

sisterhood my arse. no wonder i don't identify.

Possibly, chibi, possibly.

frothy - yes, I agree with SGM. Please don't let this get to you - it is not worth taking seriously (whereas you, and the original subject of the thread, are).

Someone seems to be looking for attention tonight!

actually ella you did suggest that i dont have my own mind and that i cannot be impartial becuase i am rhubarbs friend. which tbh is really rubbish acutally. becuase rhuabrb and i rarely agree on anything. in fact she is a feminist an i don't identify myself as one.

judging fro this thread thank god i din't identify with a siterhood who think that i cannot have a seperate opinion from my friend.

Chibi, I suspect it is...