Facebook supports rape?

I believe it is a dangerous assumption to presume they do not know they are breaking the law.
They may not want to call it rape because of the violent connotations that are still associated with rape, but they do know that it is morally and legally wrong to force yourself onto someone.

I do not want to give them the excuse of saying they didn't know what they were doing was wrong. In this country, with all the information out there, all the rape cases highlighted, no-one can get away with that excuse.

A man who hits his wife might not see himself as a domestic abuser, but he knows that it is wrong nonetheless.

Thank you, SGM. :)

I'm sorry, rhubarb, but if you weren't claiming expertise, why drag up your education in criminology? I'd also like to know what I've thrown at you which you consider worse than "twunt"....

I do agree that rapists rape because they can, but there is the underlying issue of some rapists not associating what they've done with rape because they have this overwhelming sense of entitlement. After all, he did take her out to dinner/walk her home/provide a shoulder for her to cry on/marry her. I can't remember who posted it, but soemone posted a link to a "consent" checklist of some sort a few weeks back; eg, if you've done this, it's not consent. Several posters disagreed with it vehemently, but I suspect that's down to the entitlement issue again. I've lost count how many times I've read the line "but she led him on"...

It surely depends on the rape as to whether the rapist believes they have broken the law. If it is a man in bed with his wife and she seems unwilling but he thinks she doesn't means it really and then she stops protesting, she could feel raped but he wouldn't feel like a rapist.

I disagree as well.

Lots of rapists don't consider themselves rapists. Even their victims don't consider them rapists.

I remembered the other day, a man who I went to bed with years ago at a party who was impotent. He was a charming, nice man and I sort of fancied him and was drunk. Anyway, no sex happened because of his impotence and we went to sleep.

At 5 o clock I was rudely awakened by him fucking me. I couldn't move away from him and just had to wait until it was over.

I didn't think of him as a rapist for years - not until the other day in fact, when I realised that legally, technically, he is. I'm absolutely sure he doesn't think of himself as a rapist. After all, I didn't for twenty years and I'm his victim (hopefully the only one but who knows?)

He's not a sociopath or mentally ill or incapable - just a man who thought that his need to prove that he could fuck, was more important than my right not to be penetrated when I didn't want it. Also, crucially, he's a rapist who would never be convicted, because most people, men and women, think it's OK for him to penetrate a woman he's in bed with because six hour earlier she consented at that time for that occasion. That gives him carte blanche to penetrate that woman at any time.

Continuous consent is a really useful concept. It would mean that men like him, who don't think of themselves as rapists and probably seriously don't want to be rapists, would have a very solid concept which meant they couldn't lie to themselves.

You never hear about male rape victims do you? Same with male victims of domestic abuse who are too ashamed to seek help.

No of course they don't define themselves as rapists, they are way too arrogant for that, but they do know they have broken the law.

People do not break the law merely because they can. Certainly not in a way that violates another person. I believe that is an over simplistic view of the motives of rape. And there can be many motives but essentially acquaintance rapists believe it is their right to have sex whenever they want it, which is a form of dominance and arrogance. Not just because they can, but because they believe they are entitled to it.

Im not sure I quite understand, SGM. Are you saying that women who slap their partners are brainwashed? genuinely confused

I do understand that the majority of sexual assault research is done on female victims and I assume that there are more female victims out there than male ones but if we don't do the research into the male ones too and change the way they are portrayed, the true numbers will go undiscovered.

I think we've come a long way on female rape as far as identifying that it's wrong and that it's a lot more complicated than just forced intercourse, I would like to see some respect given to the idea of the male victims too though as I think it's all part of the same thing. If I was a female rape victim, I would wish to see people taking my ordeal seriously. If I was a male rape victim, ditto.

Amor, I agree with all that you said. I disagree that rapists rape because they can and that rapists are no different to every other man. They are because they have chosen to rape, to humilate, to violate.
They rape not because they can, but because of some other fucked up belief that they have a right to.
And they know it is rape and they know it is illegal.

I think I'd "like" that, too, SGM...

Show me the post where I have claimed to be an expert Dont.

You continue to throw that accusation in even when the debate is moving on. You never let it go. Do you really think I will accept that kind of crap? You get arsey because I called you a twunt - you've said much worse. I will not just sit back and take that crap. It's people like you who discredit the feminist section.

It's there in black and white, rhubarb. Disguised by links and "I'm an expert in this"...

That's right. They don't think they are rapists and a lot of the women they rape, agree. Presumably because they think that rapists are different people to the high-flying City men, who share their beds.

discrimination and rape myths - you just never stop do you dont. Clearly others don't see my posts in the same way dear.

Amor - I should think you would welcome discussion of the feminist threads. After being accused of perpetuating rape myths I needed support, because as incredible as this sounds, I am a human being, a wife, a daugher, a sister, a mother and I found that accusation upsetting, hurtful and offensive. I like to think I am quick to apologise and admit mistakes (like the first link) but it's a pity that others prefer to carry on with the accusations.

And I think I explained Amor why I disagreed with that particular paragraph of Elliots and the fact that it is meant to be read exactly as it is written is horrifying. That rapists only rape because they can? Is that what you believe?