Facebook supports rape?

And if we are talking about semantics (which is slightly different from sentence structure), the writer does start her sentence with "Rapists", not "Men", so I don't really see your objection.

Amor that is one hell of a story and a very good point you are making with it too. I am so sorry!

Somewhere upthread someone said about simplifying rape definition to include ALL kinds of penetration. Agree. Also to aggressively educate starting from school about continuous consent, so that the type of stories that amor described happens less and less.

My ex isn't aware he's a rapist, rhubarb

He's of the "well, you consented eventually" brigade...

Enough said on that matter

It doesn't go back to anything, Rhubarb, except perhaps "rapists don't rape because they're somehow evil or perverted or in any way particularly different from than the average man in the street: rapists rape because they can."

Which is what you say you are offended by.

SGM - do you have evidence for that? If not then that is what you believe which is fair enough. I also believe that and that awareness of rape has resulted in men no longer being able to claim ignorance.

Drunk rape, sleep rape, domestic rape, date rape - all have been featured heavily in the media.
They know it's wrong, they just don't give a shit.

Well yes I agree Starry, that's why feminists want to challenge the rape cuilture that says it's OK for a man like my rapist to assume that I mgiht be one of those women who find it erotic to be woken up with a prick in me, before checking that with me first.

Honestly Rhubarb so many rapists don't think they've broken the law and just as bad, neither do their victims. There are so many "normal" men and women who think that ambivalent sex (where nothing is said or done by the woman to convey that sex is wanted) is not rape. Or that having unwanted repeat sex is rape. I'm sure we've all got acquaintances (if not friends) who believe this too.

It would be so refreshing on this board if all posters just paused for a moment, realised they perhaps needed to reflect on a cherished view and agreed to go away to think about it. But they are more likely to do so, I think, if they didn't feel personally attacked and judged. This way more threads would deal with the issue involved and not get derailed by spats .

Ella - yes I am and yes I did think her sentence structure was wrong, before I found out that the debate was not about that, she had meant it to read that way and many people agreed with her. I made the mistake of thinking that she had not meant it that way.

LeBOF yes many men think they are entitled to sex but they are also aware that it is wrong to violate, they just don't give a shit either way. They think they are above the law, that they won't get convicted or reported - which goes back to dominance.

Awareness has grown but so it seems has arrogance, because we've taken away their right poor lambs.

I dont think there exists a rape culture against men which is promoted by facebook. So if anybody wants to discuss that, a new thread might be better.

What an excellent post Amor.

People are so scared of the idea that normal otherwise decent men can be rapists.

In this case, as he was "caught" young enough and was open to being told what was what (instead of defensive and refusing to listen) I guess he never did it again. Rather than it becoming a habit, which it is for some men who don't consider themselves rapists.

AmorY, I just wanted to say I read your post. I'm so sorry to hear of your experience. :(

That was to the assertion that men know it is wrong, btw.

I agree with starrywillow.

How do you know? Because you think it's wrong? If people on her can sincerely believe they can park in a disabled space for a variety of reasons, you can bet your ass that many men can convince themselves they were perfectly entitled to "push for sex". They won't even allow themselves to believe it is rape.

Rhubarb, 'as a professional copywriter I can tell you that if that is what she meant, then her sentence structure needs looking at.' - to me, that looks as if you are trying to pretend you have expertise.

I would have liked to post on this thread and frankly, as you know, feel too intimidated by your posts. Do you need to be this aggressive, really?

SGM I disagree. You can blame easy access to porn (which I do) and the laddish culture, but there is much more awareness now of the many guises of rape than there ever was before and that is shown in an increase in reported rapes.

I think what happened to you Uppity comes from a culture which confuses itself over how people want to be treated. Some people would have found it amazingly erotic to wake up to the man they were in bed with, doing what the did to you and others obviously don't. He is at fault in this instance because he didn't know what you thought but if it had been a different woman with him, it might have been just what she wanted. And the same can be said with other rapes (though not all). The rape depends on the rapist and the victim and they don't always know what the other is thinking. It's such a difficult issue. I hope you don't think I'm trying to play down your experience, that's not at all my intent and I hope you're coping or have someone to help you cope with what you've just realised. happened to you.

No, a man who hits his wife will excuse it away, and justify it both mentally and verbally. Hence why so many domestic abuse (and rape) victims carry around a sense of self blame. Hence the "she was asking for it" line so frequently going unchallenged

Dont, I was asked by SQ where I got my information from. I told her. That is not dragging up my education in criminology and that does not justify your posting that I claimed I am an expert.

Calling me someone who blames rape victims is much worse than being called a twunt. I said I would take back that insult if you took back yours, I am still waiting.

Once again you are refusing to let go of this grudge you have against me when the debate has moved on. Are you obsessed? I'm a married woman you know!