When you meet new people at what point do you 'out' yourself as a feminist?

I find I don't need to tell anyone. My FB/Twitter stuff will out me before I've known them for long.
That said I did tend to also assume that most women if not men as well will be of a feminist persuasion. I have learnt the hard way that this is not so.
Labels (and indeed the prejudices/preconceived ideas that go with them) are indeed limiting and often frustrating. However my experiences up to this point have led me to believe that it is important not to be reticent about saying "yes. I'm a feminist" because the shocked reaction described by BIWI ("but you're so nice" or "but you're not one of those man-hating, dungaree-wearing radicals") gives you a chance to bust some of the myths out there.
On the other hand, it can make you open season for abuse.
You have to decide what's best for you.

No, of course if asked I wouldn't deny it. But the op is talking about outing herself which feels like making a deliberate point of it. It feels unnatural to do that in any circumstances. I think it's very odd she feels like its hidden I'm sure she doesn't have many different views than any of the other men and women in her new circle.

WishI - sure, and that's why I didn't think you meant what you said first time quite exactly! I doubt anyone goes around saying 'hi, I'm [name] and I'm a feminist', but obviously it does tend to come up in conversation if you act like a feminist, and that's when I'd say I was one - if asked (just like saying my name if asked). I don't think that's overly 'worthy' - I think not saying you're a feminist if you are one is just a bit sad. Why bother? It's not something to be ashamed of IMO.

I tend to assume that anyone else I'm with would share my views, and I'm often quite shocked when they don't.

I'm calling people on stuff more often these days. DH commented on it recently - he said "you're much more sensitive about it these days aren't you?" after I was frothing at the mouth about a ridiculous press ad. (Yet another car ad featuring, for some inexplicable reason, a scantily clad girl)

Beachcomber - that is a brilliant line that I will try and remember next time we have unwanted callers!

Gruss gott andi!

Oooh, WIWATWP, I do appreciate your name. You can introduce yourself to me that way. IWIWATWAuchP!

Sorry, off-topic, off-topic...

Not even your name? Crikey, I have been over sharing. I do find it interesting/bemusimg that it seems some people would feel it's 'not the done thing' to mention feminism?

LRDTheFeministDragon I don't walk up to people and say, hi I'm WIWATWP and I'm an animalrights activist/democrat/feminist/supporter of gay rights oh and I'm not a racist.

If someone did that I would think they were

A.) trying to show off, look at me I'm soooooo worthy

B.) not that good at any of the above or they wouldn't have to tell you.

with the exception of animal rights issues I tend to assume everyone I meet care about the rights of minorities and women's issues and is a generally good person. If they aren't I can sniff them out in all of about 5 seconds.

I always assume people are feminists and assume they will know I am - my work is dedicated to the development of feminist discourse and feminist politics inform all of my personal life choices. Besides that, I consider the women of my community to be intelligent women and always assume an intelligent woman to be a feminist. Nevertheless, the other day a newish friend came over and we were discussing something or other and she said oh god you're not going to go all feminist on me are you? I replied erm I'm not 'going to go all feminist', I AM a feminist and she was genuinely shocked. She didn't do the eye roll thing or anything but it really surprised me that it would be shock to her. Especially since I don't shave my armpits or have a sense of humour or anything

I come to it with the same perspective as Hully and others. Any rational person will assume men and women are equal - just like they wouldn't discriminate on other grounds such as race, sexuality or otherwise. I wouldn't go up to someone and say "BTW, I'm a feminist and I also believe in gay rights, racial equality (or whatever) and I vote this way and..." or whatever. Hopefully my actions speak for themselves.

And if something comes up in conversation which I feel is anti-feminist, I'll just put forward a coherent argument as to why I disagree, and leave it at that.

I hope this helps.

I think it is fairly obvious from my perspective on life, so I haven't really thought about it. But there again some people can be obtuse!

Hully well that's my starting assumption, too, but gosh I am surprised an awful lot of the time. The "oh no, you can't be a feminist, you're nice" has been said to me more than once.

And I'm really not especially nice. People just think feminists are some kind of ghastly caricature, it seems.

Because I'm quite involved in feminist activism - helping run a group, writing for a feminist magazine, etc - it tends to come up pretty much straight away in conversation when people ask what I do. But I imagine, even if I didn't bring it up, it would be pretty obvious once you got to know me a little better.

As someone upthread mentioned, it can be quite a good 'test' of new people and it's always interesting to see how people can react. And I love debating feminist stuff so it often leads to some really good conversations.

LRD - It's not that it's not the done thing, it's that it shouldn't need saying. It should be obvious. Any sane person is a feminist.

I don't go around identifying myself as Canadian either. If people ask about my accent or it comes up in conversation, then that's fine. But I don't see a need to label myself based on how I feel about certain issues any more than I feel a need to label myself based on where I grew up. Both are a part of who I am, but why should I introduce myself this way, rather than letting someone find out for themselves?

Not even your name? Crikey, I have been over sharing.

I do find it interesting/bemusimg that it seems some people would feel it's 'not the done thing' to mention feminism?

I find this an odd post, I don't tell anyone anything as a matter of point.

People who matter find out everything they need to know when it's relvant anyway.

I would like to hope it would be self evident once someone got to know me, tbh.

I have had some interesting conversations at work such as 'oh you're not one of those feminists getorf, are you' and my responding (mildly) 'yes, of course I am'.

What Alys said. It doesn't feel to me like something that needs to be declared.

I generally assume that any intelligent woman I meet either is a feminist or would be if they took the time to think about it. Well over 3/4 of them anyway.

What's wrong with a label that identifies you though?

I like identifying with that label - it's an action in itself, and often a surprisingly powerful one IME.

I would never want to keep it to myself. Words are pretty important - we're not monkeys walking around grunting so it is a bit odd IMO to pretend they're not important to us.

I would never out myself as anything. Placing a label on yourself speaks nothing for your actions, and has potential future consequences, even if well received (or seemingly well-received) at the moment.

Omission of fact may only be considered a lie in a jurisdictional sense, so unless you have anything you do that requires you be/not-be a feminist, I would keep it to yourself excepting those areas in which you can maintain a reasonable expectation of anonymity.

If your friends and family directly ask "Are you a feminist", then you can handle the situation directly. Keep in mind that if it looks, walks, and quacks like a duck, then it is probably a duck, and let your actions speak for themselves.

I always assume everyone is a feminist.

It's hardly a dirty secret that you have to wait to tell someone. On the other hand, I also don't see the need for a label and wouldn't bother worrying about telling people by name what I am.

While on the topic, I do dislike it when women start a sentence with, "I'm not a feminist, but..." and then give a rational feminist comment on something. Well what are you then if not a feminist?

A new friend of mine told me probably on our 5th get-together. Didn't bother me or make me think of her any different :)

blackcurrants I think I will try that one next time when I get a negative reaction - say "yes and if you don't agree with me I will chop your willy off and add it to my collection!" with a huge nonchalant eye-roll!

LRD IMO being seen as too nice is just a burden, so you have my envy