When you meet new people at what point do you 'out' yourself as a feminist?

oh ok thanks for clarifying!

wish - you're not being thick, it's just I'm being boring as I've mentioned this before on here. Basically, there's a text we read where a woman is raped, and her rapist is punished, and as a result learns how to make women happy. My student didn't realize that this is quite a misogynistic message - that the rape is justified because it results (ultimately) in the better treatment of women. He thought he was being a feminist because he supported the end message, that men should treat women better, and didn't realize the end message is one that condones rape as an unfortunate learning experience for men.

Sorry, it's beside the point but did illustrate to me fairly clearly that identifying as a feminist can sometimes be something people do partly because they like the way it sounds or they have a sense it's a good thing, but not always because they really want to examine it as an ideology.

I had a student who did admit to being a feminist. Unfortunately, he was also the one who concluded that rape was a perfectly appropriate narrative device for demonstrating that men need to learn by experience (of rape) what women really want. Being thick LRDTheFeministDragon does that mean he thought men needed to be raped to understand the situation or had to rape?

The 'I'm not a feminist I want things to be equal' seems very common.
I think that is a response to many people thinking feminism wants women higher than men on the hierarchy.

I don't announce it, but will say if asked. I do challenge a lot, though, so it's quite obvious.

I don't assume that everyone is a feminist. The evidence is all around me that this isn't the case, so I'd rather stick to the reality of the lives of women.

I suppose they are quite pleased when people talk to them for a bit rather than just hedging with them.

The ones who came to my door were very nice and awfully understanding of how radical feminism and organised religion weren't very compatible. We did agree that I probably wasn't suited to their organisation.

Beachcomber

I had some mormons come to my door and ask me about god, I told them I was agnostic, and they said oh tell us about it.

They spent an hour at my house chatting about my agnosticism and their travels. Then thanked me for showing them a nice time and went on their way. They were lovely!

black -

I had a student who did admit to being a feminist. Unfortunately, he was also the one who concluded that rape was a perfectly appropriate narrative device for demonstrating that men need to learn by experience (of rape) what women really want.

The 'I'm not a feminist I want things to be equal' seems very common.

I occasionally talk to mates about things I've read on here and (because I don't out myself as a MNer), I end up saying 'well, the women in the feminist group I belong to were saying ...'. Guess that outs me as well.

Scary.

My dd is 13, I'll ask her if she would call herself a feminist, and her friends.

Woe betide if she gives the wrong answer...

(PS I did not, at that point, suggest they sign my MANIFESTO. I was teaching.)

Interestingly, Hully I have a conversation like that almost every week.
I'd put my students (22 in class) into self- selected groups, by topic, to discuss different themes in the book we were reading. One theme was 'representation of Women'. The group was four young women.
One said "Isn't it funny how we're all girls?"
Another said "Yeah I know! I mean, I find this really interesting. I'm not a feminist or anything, I mean..."
Whole group "Oh no, of course not."
Me, their instructor, "Um...."

Are there no Australian MNers? How odd.

Btw, there seem to be zillions of Australian PhD students/academics around - I've never been there but like to imagine it is a very erudite counry.

LRD it's been funny coming back to Oz and 'civilian' life - rather less of that comfort these days.

And I've yet to run into a MNer down here (sigh)

I'm not sure I want either of those TBH.

I think I just don't want to be subject to sexism.

True, hully.

I suppose it depends if you want to shut them up or convert them.

I've generally found a fairly curt 'old fashioned sexist ideas don't have a place in the modern workplace' works for me.

I then move swiftly on to something professional with a 'so back to the relevant topic' type comment.

Mmm, I think I'll carry on as I am, tbh. I doubt anyone obtuse enough to crack misognyistic jokes to a woman will note the subtle implications of facial expression.

phdlife - it's so nice when you realize you are surrounded by like-minded people, isn't it? I guess that's true in whatever context you're thinking of, but I do love it when I hear people say something and just know they're feminists (or, occasionally, when I am damn sure they must be MN or MN-influenced feminists ).

actually come to think of it they may well notice my hairy legs and pits and figure it out before we even get to that point.

I have never mentioned being a feminist to anyone, nor has anyone ever mentioned it to me. I work with lots of females who are very career-oriented and high achievers. We do talk about the sense of entitlement of the men around us though, and call it when we see it. So, if women are spoken about or treated in anything less than a fair way (esp. concerning maternity rights), I speak up in meetings or write emails.

It is not an identity thing with me though (wonders if I am not a feminist then).

I think I've always fuzzily assumed any sane person was a feminist.
It helped that in my previous life (academia) I was surrounded by people who actually were and had no trouble saying so.
these days I make a joke of it when someone notices I still have my own surname instead of dh's. "Yeah," I say, "It's because I'm a bolshie feminist." Never had a comment back

I mean, laugh if they say something overtly sexist with a straight face, obviously laughing if they think they've made a joke won't work!!

hully, it doesn't win the battle though - it sounds as if I agree with them.

I do like the 'assume any sane person is a feminist' stance though.

beach, I cross-posted but it isn't very direct, is it?

The people who get under my skin most are those for whom sexism is really, really funny. I've come across very direct misogyny (the prof who said women are intellectually inferior to men springs to mind, can't get much more direct than that!), but at least there you know where you are. And people who're that direct get a reputation for being bigots. What is much worse are those people who fancy themselves as urbane, amusing, post-feminists and pass off any comment as a joke. Laughing sweetly is not really what helps there - though I bet it does when you come across an idiot who doesn't get why you find him funny, to be fair.

No, not direct. But one needs weapons appropriate to the situation. LRD is talking about men senior to her. Winning the battle is more important than the tactics employed in my book.

Possibly, but I think people who're sure what they're saying is funny and/or true don't respond to shame. In my experience. I do genuinely find there's something about replying to questions by saying I'm a feminist is very effective. They may conclude I'm a humourless/naive cow, but they do stop assuming I'm in thrall to the manly sexism.

I get the impression I've come across some prize wankers though, compared with some people on this thread!