Name and praise : costa

How can anyone be offended by being addressed by their First Name and Last Name?

As a married woman called Dr MyOwnName I loathe the usual 3 options for obvious reasons. I am not a man (Mr), I am not unmarried (Miss) and I am not Mrs MyOwnName, that would be my stepmother. (Neither am I Mrs HisName, the only person with that on their passport is my mother-in-law). If they're not going to provide Dr/Rev/Lord/Lady etc then they should at least provide Ms for those of us who need it. And if they're only going to provide one male and one female option then of course it should be Ms.

As someone said above, they clearly don't care what your marital status or work-related titles might be, so only ask the minimal information and they've done so correctly. Well done them.

Where does this imaginary requirement to provide choice end?

3 options? 4? 8? 25?

My mother used Mrs even though she was divorced in the 60's.

Questioning the tradition is fine but in the end it should all be about choice.

Ms, Ms, always Ms. I still remember the moment when someone told me I could use it for the rest of my life and no-one could tell if I had a husband. I was 14 and it was a general knowledge quiz in a Classical Studies class. What power and freedom to know that I could have a title all of my own! It was definitely one of 'those' moments.

I have been happily married for 11 years last week, I still use Ms and I still use my maiden name. And I still like ticking the Ms box on a form.

Maisie, may I be nosy and ask how "Mrs" defines you in ways other than your relationship to your husband?

Well of course the most important thing is that filling in forms is not dull, they should provide us with a little joke between the title and name boxes while they are at it.

It's not outwith the realms of possibility for a good website to give the customer a choice of titles and a 'no title' box. Depending on how I feel I veer from Lady, to Rev, to Dr, to Mr - and Mrs. I like choice. Ms is boring.

I think they ask for a title so that if they write to you or call you they can be polite and call you Mr Lastname or Ms Lastname, because some people think it's rude to call a stranger by their first name.

Agree LRD. I would prefer no title at all, and second the 'male' or 'female' option as the most sensible.

I do use Mrs, but it certainly doesn't 'define' me by my relationship to DH. It's a title I chose for many reasons, none of which I need to justify to fit someone else's feminist agenda.

Feminists can choose to use whatever title they like.

The offering of Mr/Ms rather than Mr/Mrs/Miss is much more equal and fair.

Costa are essentially saying we are interested in your gender (for marketing purposes) but your marital status is none of our business. Which is true. It isn't.

My correct title isn't there either, but I am not complaining, I am rejoicing that a large company has realised that requiring women to put themselves into married/unmarried boxes is silly.

so they have no HRH option for me???

If they are only going to have two titles, I think it's (obviously, surely?) better they be Ms and Mr. But it'd be better to either do away with titles or let people write their own in since some people are very attached to a title for professional or personal reasons. I have to admit I do find it annoying that Mrs and Miss are still given as default options. If you have a special title that you want to use (like Mrs or Dr or Rev), because it says something about who you are - fine. But it shouldn't be up there as a standard option IMO.

Thisisyesterday - bit of an odd thing for a feminist to do, no? Define herself by her relationship with a man?

I don't know why they have to ask for a title at all. I don't use a title when I can avoid it and I hate the intrusiveness of that, "Is that Miss or Mrs?" Urgh!

Why can't they just have tick boxes for "male" and "female" and no titles?

No Garlic.

You can do whatever you like and continue to be a feminist. I have already said I call myself Mrs sometimes depending on the result I want from the situation. Doesn't make that sexism disappear though.

If I'd worked hard enough to earn myself a phd then I'd like to be able to chose the Dr option. - Maisie, do you consider being married an achievement of a similar nature? And would you prefer the gender-free "Dr" to "Mrs"?

I'm replying to you in this way, to prompt a bit more thought about what a woman's saying about herself with her choice of title, not to have a go.

Sad that my choice to which title has been taken away! HATE MS with a passion.

but you are "expected" to reveal anything. you can use Ms if you want to.

why should other people not be allowed to reveal their marital status if they choose to?
just cos men can't doesn't make it sexist. maybe it's sexist towards men because they can't?

this makes no sense to me

so, if you like people to know you are a Mrs and that you're married... that means you can't be a feminist?

Then surely what would be impressive would be something along the lines of:

marital titles:

• Mr (married)
• Mr (non married)
• Mr (prefer not to reveal marital status)
• Mrs
• Miss
• Ms

Rather than forcing women to self identify either as Mr or Ms?

I'd rather not have to select a title at all. unless they are using it for data collection i see no reason why it matters what gender a customer is.

Yes I sometime use Mrs. Depends what outcome I would like from the situation.

That does not mean it ceases to be sexist that women are expected to reveal their marital status and men aren't.

I use Mrs and I am a feminist. It's perfectly possible to be both, you know, without submitting to some narrow feminist agenda . If I'd worked hard enough to earn myself a phd then I'd like to be able to chose the Dr option.

Why is only having 2 options something to name and praise? Seems more like sloppy, lazy web developing.