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Original poster

When do you give up????

76 replies

northernruth · 19/09/2011 18:13

Am a member and a mod on another forum. Two posts this week have made me seething mad. One a post asking for help with sex drive in which the OP admitted that her DP has forced her "to have sex when I have said no" and that "sometimes he hurt me" but "all that is in the past and I forgive him".

Obviously a couple of us waded in crying rape and asking her to get help/ advice at which there was a big hoo har about how we "weren't helping" and how "the OP wants to move on" and we "needed to be more supportive".

WTF?

Then the latest is that the forum's resident smug cow someone came on saying that she'd just watched porn with her partner for the first time in 12 years and she "couldn't understand why we haven't done it before".

Honestly, when do you give up? by which I mean, are there times when you don't even bother wading in because you know your words will fall on deaf ears or you'll be dismissed as a "ranting feminist"?

OP posts:
Tchootnika · 19/09/2011 18:21

You say what you have to say, try not to get upset and let it go, I suppose.

At least it's on a forum (and the thread doesn't get deleted), then the OP can look at exactly what's been said over and over again.

I think the most 'successful' posters tend to be those who can post one or two extremely well worded posts that take into account other posts (and point out that they're doing this) without becoming too heated. (There are a couple of MNers who do this amazingly well.)

What else can you do? i think if your posts are too 'passionate' (can't think of a better word) then some troubled OPs might feel 'controlled' or bullied on some way, or maybe it just raises too many difficult feelings for them, so I suppose at some point you have to step back and hope they'll read the thread in the cold light of day, and make the best decision for them.