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Original poster

If you could choose... would you rather have been born male?

210 replies

wellwisher · 19/09/2011 14:13

I don't post in this section much, but this is inspired by the "Do you remember a specific moment where you realised that being female put you at a disadvantage?" thread.

I have become more feminist/aware of the disadvantages of being female as I've got older. The last few years, I've realised that if I could choose, I'd rather be male. I'm at an age where I'm starting to lose my looks and panic about my biological clock, and I resent that my male friends don't have these worries yet. Almost all my female friends have settled down and started to have children, often making major compromises to do so. Almost all my male friends are still single and enjoying their freedom. It feels so unfair! It's more than that though: women have so much additional CRAP to deal with - prejudice, misogyny, objectification, being punished by society for getting older/not being conventionally pretty, feeling physically vulnerable... honestly, if I could go back to the moment of my conception, wave a magic wand and be created male instead of female, I would do it in a snap. Yet, none of my female friends feel the same way - even though most of them are relatively feminist in their views.

Maybe I just feel like this because I don't have children. Maybe it's just me, am generally a bit gloomy at the moment... but I thought it could be an interesting discussion. What would you choose? Try to set aside any feelings associated with having had babies, as this clearly adds a huge emotional aspect to the issue. I hope that any future children of mine will be boys. I really feel I wouldn't wish being born female on anyone - and I'm aware of how easy women in the UK have it compared to most of the rest of the world.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 20:05

sgm, it would be wrong but ooooh so right Wink

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/09/2011 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/09/2011 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 20:03

moonferret, perhaps the next thread where you see there is a sexless relationship, you could hop on and impart your wisdom

I am sure it wil be very helpful

SybilBeddows · 19/09/2011 20:02
JeremyVile · 19/09/2011 20:02

I've always been against the calls for hide poster function but every time I come onto a F/WR thread lately, I totally see why it would be useful.

It's bloody sad actually.

AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 20:02

now that I agree with

moonferret · 19/09/2011 20:01

yawn...

AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 20:00

other what ?

other sexist pillocks ?

I only see one on this thread

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 19/09/2011 19:59

Jeremy, I see your 'Oh...please!' and raise you a 'FFS Hmm'

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:59

The same applies to others as well...

JeremyVile · 19/09/2011 19:59

Moonferret, if you're not getting all the sex you want then perhaps you ought to unming yourself.

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:58

Sorry garlicnutty, no reasonable counter argument or discussion means no serious reply.

AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 19:58

moonferrret, you hold the views of a sexist pillock

did you mean to come across like that ?

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:57

That is the only vaguely, partially reasonable explanation I can come to!

garlicnutty · 19/09/2011 19:57

Oh dear, moonferret, you have bought into a load of old claptrap, haven't you.

JeremyVile · 19/09/2011 19:57

Oh.....please!

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:56

I have read those threads, they confuse and baffle me. It's largely because they're stuck in a relationship with a man who's either hardly functioning properly, or else he does indeed regard her as a "minger".

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:55

madwomanintheattic Yes, pretty much. Unless you're a rich man of course, in which case you have the best of both worlds. And as I said, women won't understand it. This is because of course it's not what they want, and so they can't relate to it as being the advantage it is. Are you following this?!

AnyFucker · 19/09/2011 19:55

moonferret haven't you read th numerous threads from women who aren't getting any sex at all ?

are you saying they must all be mingers?

garlicnutty · 19/09/2011 19:53

Grin madwoman

garlicnutty · 19/09/2011 19:52

Heidi wrote: I could raise my voice and people would just say I have a strong personality. I could have slept around as single and have the reputation of a stud, not slut.

I know these are real problems. I also get that things may have changed after my generation ... But I never had either of those issues? Have things changed that much? Or is it mostly about what you think other people think??

madwomanintheattic · 19/09/2011 19:51

um. the main advantage of being a woman is sex when you want it? and that has to outweigh everything else?

as long as you're moderately attractive?

gee. i had no idea that's what i was supposed to feel. huh. you learn something every day.

i feel like i've entered another universe. quite right that i don't understand it as a woman. quite quite right.

garlicnutty · 19/09/2011 19:47

I decided to look at this in a personal context - me and my sibs (large family.)
We all have issues with self-worth, identity and relationships. So that's not gender-based; it's due to bad parenting.
We have been variously successful in our careers, so that's not gender-based.
We've all worried about our attractiveness, ageing, fitness, etc, so that's not gender-based either. In fact, the men seem more anxious to fight ageing than the women.
Exactly half of us have had children; exactly distributed between the sexes. It was all down to luck & circumstances - not gender-based. The childless brothers could still sire children, I guess, with a younger partner, but show no signs of doing so. That is a biological difference; women don't get the second-chance option.
I would say the men display more "entitlement" than the women, but it's only a matter of swagger. I know they don't feel any more entitled than their sisters.
We've discussed the comparative effects of ageing on careers. We agree that, while ageing's a problem for all, it hits women harder and sooner.
We also agree there is a glass ceiling for women. It's hard to smash it.
Amongst us, the women tend to have more close friendships than the men do.

So, on balance, there's not much difference in terms of everyday life experience. There are career benefits to being a man. There are emotional benefits to being a woman.

But there's one thing that would definitely sway me in favour of being a man! PERIODS!!

moonferret · 19/09/2011 19:38

Well, I'm male and this has been interesting reading. I'd have been female given the choice. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no doubt about my gender, but I think being female is preferable overall. The thing is, being male has a lot of advantages...but the main female advantage of sex when you want it (provided you're at least moderately attractive) has to outweigh them all. Of course, being female, most of you won't understand this.

And the poster who said she'd always wondered what sex is like for a man with a woman..it's physically awkward a lot of the time! And it can also make you feel rather stupid! The woman's "role" would be far more fun, relaxing, enjoyable...!