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Original poster

If you could choose... would you rather have been born male?

210 replies

wellwisher · 19/09/2011 14:13

I don't post in this section much, but this is inspired by the "Do you remember a specific moment where you realised that being female put you at a disadvantage?" thread.

I have become more feminist/aware of the disadvantages of being female as I've got older. The last few years, I've realised that if I could choose, I'd rather be male. I'm at an age where I'm starting to lose my looks and panic about my biological clock, and I resent that my male friends don't have these worries yet. Almost all my female friends have settled down and started to have children, often making major compromises to do so. Almost all my male friends are still single and enjoying their freedom. It feels so unfair! It's more than that though: women have so much additional CRAP to deal with - prejudice, misogyny, objectification, being punished by society for getting older/not being conventionally pretty, feeling physically vulnerable... honestly, if I could go back to the moment of my conception, wave a magic wand and be created male instead of female, I would do it in a snap. Yet, none of my female friends feel the same way - even though most of them are relatively feminist in their views.

Maybe I just feel like this because I don't have children. Maybe it's just me, am generally a bit gloomy at the moment... but I thought it could be an interesting discussion. What would you choose? Try to set aside any feelings associated with having had babies, as this clearly adds a huge emotional aspect to the issue. I hope that any future children of mine will be boys. I really feel I wouldn't wish being born female on anyone - and I'm aware of how easy women in the UK have it compared to most of the rest of the world.

OP posts:
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AnyFucker · 21/09/2011 15:53

I like to do a bit of derailing myself, on occasion

Own medicine 'n' all that

PrideOfChanur · 21/09/2011 15:21

Yep,whatever are you thinking of??

AnyFucker · 21/09/2011 15:04

I deserve to be shot for writing this on the Feminism/WR board. Grin

AnyFucker · 21/09/2011 15:03

Ah, be gone with ya

You firm-buttocked slip of a wooooman, ya

Only ladies with buttocks of the loose variety are welcome

I think the initiation process (and entry standard) has to be that you can rotate each buttock the opposite way at the same time

Like those horrid nipple tassle thingies, but with the arse cheeks

Whaddaya think ?

PrideOfChanur · 21/09/2011 14:45

Free membership is always tempting,AF......though my buttocks are in fairly good shape at the moment

Tell you what,let me know when you've decided on the Initiation Process,yes?

AnyFucker · 21/09/2011 13:43

Do you want to support my WBSG, POC ?

membership is free for a limited period

I am currently thinking about the Initiation Process, though

PrideOfChanur · 21/09/2011 13:17

I was thinking about this thread and remembered this song by Jamie Anderson - this isn't quite the version I was expecting but it made me smile....

(I was going to apologise for deviation from serious discussion,but after AF's Wobbly Buttocks support group,and MF's useful insights into male anatomy and underwear probably don't need to Smile )

Original poster
wellwisher · 21/09/2011 08:42

Thanks moonferret. Hmm, well then I can't really see why it would be so bad to have a penis. They are completely ridiculous-looking, but they're out of sight most of the time and more convenient all round than the alternative, especially for those of us who enjoy long country walks Grin

No worries about the baby thing, everyone - I am surrounded by them in real life and I don't even have a boyfriend at the moment! and really I would be happy to wait a few years if biology permitted it - just worried about missing the boat completely... I hate that feeling of time running out.

OP posts:
CrosswordAddict · 20/09/2011 19:59

What? And miss the joy of a twin Caesarean section? Wink

AnyFucker · 20/09/2011 19:58

wobbly

AnyFucker · 20/09/2011 19:57

I am sympathising with you mf, it must be such a trial

I am thinking of setting up a Wobby Buttocks Support Group

I think it has legs

Beachcomber · 20/09/2011 19:53

I like being a woman. Women rock.

Insomnia11 · 20/09/2011 19:50

Absolutely not. I love being a woman, and never ever wanted to be male.

moonferret · 20/09/2011 19:37

Your tedious and immature rubbish gets no reaction or serious reply from me "AF"..haven't you realised yet?

AnyFucker · 20/09/2011 19:32

Moonferret, I can only sympathise with your predicament. Have you considered contacting the LPSG ? I hear they are very supportive of their members.

Unfortunately I doubt there is such an oganisation as the WBSG Sad

AnyFucker · 20/09/2011 19:29

My buttocks hurt when I run, am I abnormal ? Grin

moonferret · 20/09/2011 18:49

In response to wellwisher. No, male genetalia doesn't hurt when you run. Most men wear shorts with inner briefs incorporated which mean they stay in place too. The biggest problems come with being well endowed oddly enough, in the same way as women who are well endowed in the breast department. I'd better not say much on the theme as some here are too immature to deal with it.

The issue of having breasts to deal with during exercise has to be the biggest (alongside periods) downside to being a woman as I see it. But I wouldn't want to be flatchested either! So I'd be a C cup I think..lol..is that the best compromise?!

blackcurrants · 20/09/2011 18:16

yes yes, wellwisher - good luck indeed. I didn't mean to talk about the babies in my post either, it just sort of happened. Hope that wasn't insensitive.

AnyFucker · 20/09/2011 18:11

me too, wellwisher, I wish you all the luck you need in getting pg (have been there) x

PamBeesly · 20/09/2011 18:06

wellwisher I hope you have a baby or even babies, good luck :)

nickelbabe · 20/09/2011 17:26

(sorry if mythoughts on new babies upsets you, by the way, it was bad timing of my post :( )

nickelbabe · 20/09/2011 17:25

I have thought about this quesiton a lot over the years.
and it's come at a relevant time for me.
Waiting for a baby to arrive, and we decided not to find out whether it was a boy or girl.
The more i've thought about it, the more I think that girls have life so much better than boys.
We've got so many opportunities, so much that we can do and conquer.
We don't have to live up to any false expectations of us, and we can wear what we like - trousers or skirts, pink and fluffy or blue etc.
Boys seem to have that inherent social standard set upon them - if you dress a boy in pink, people think you're strange or a hippy, and a boy couldnt' wear skirts.
when they start school, they're forced into a stereotype by parents of all the other boys (no matter what you teach them at home)

All things considered, I would never prefer to be a boy/man. I would always choose girl/woman.
and if i want to prove something, then I can, and I will.

Original poster
wellwisher · 20/09/2011 17:20

Wow, lots of interesting replies and digressions here! I have actually had male friends say to me quite often that "it must be great being female because you can have sex whenever you like". I think many men do really believe this.

I hadn't really thought through what it would be like to have a penis... would it really be so bad? Can't imagine it would be more inconvenient than having breasts (does an unsupported set of male genitalia hurt when you run? any men left on this thread to answer?) - and much more convenient for peeing when out on long hikes/camping trips.

And to the person who asked: I do want to have babies, but time is running out, in a way that it isn't for my male friends of the same age. That's one of the things that kicked off this whole idea for me :(

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 20/09/2011 15:48

also interesting in light of the hammering that 'pop' and his/ her parents got for attempting to raise a genderless infant. (and other similar)

Bluegrass · 20/09/2011 13:17

Ephiny - I suppose for those characters that swap genders there probably would be no difference in behaviour, certainly no expectation that they would act differently because the person inside is the same before and afterwards. There would also be little point in raising a child with gendered expectations as the parents would have no idea if that child would stay the same or swap.

I suppose it is an expression of the ideal that in an equal society you would have no fear (perhaps even no preference) of being reincarnated as one gender or the other as you would feel confident that neither would be more advantageous.