Have ordered Wifework....slightly concerned about the after effects

just put a cover on it. did you never have to line your books at school?

LRD - yes I bought the pink one too and am now regretting it as most of my reading time is on the bus. Also I want DP to read it and I can't see him taking it on the train. I might order him another copy with a less embarrassing cover. Oh crap I'm organising him again aren't I?

Sounds like you've got it cracked.

You're in such a tiny minority though that I think there is a point in reading it anyway. I've never been overweight and have never been on a diet but I still found Fat is a Feminist Issue a valuable read because so many of the women around me have a problematic relationship to food.

I want to read the book but sometimes I think what is the point.

I conditioned myself very early on to not being someone that would do loads of housework. I distinctly remember a relative asking me and not my brother to "go on and make me a cup of tea love" and it became a running joke in my house that I did not know how to make tea. I refused to do home economics too. I look back and I think I was quite punchy the way I refused to do the class.

So by the age of 13 my ideas were formed on housework. I would do it if I was paid too, and I would help out at home but I would not be defined by it and I would expect an equal relationship with any partner I had regarding housework.

I work FT but when I did have a brief bit of time off after a baby my DH did everything domestically and he worked FT (I had a pretty scary labour).

Throughout my pregnancy I worked FT too but was very sick and tired, but felt I could not take time off work and my dear dear DH did everything, without ever complaining. I worked out I did not iron any garment of my own for a period of 2 years, in fact I still never iron anything. In fact I have never ironed anything for him ever. He cooked nearly every meal and did pretty much everything.

Now we are at the stage where we do share some Housework but he still does by far the most of it. Our reasoning on this is that I have to commute for my role - he does not have to travel as far. If I did housework after working long hours then I would miss out on precious time with my baby so Monday to Friday if I get time when I am not working it is spent doing fun stuff with my baby.

I do not think my DH is resentful because I'm a fun person to be around and doing housework was never something I signed up for as taking the main role with it. It just is not what I am about. I have worked as a cleaner and I know how much hard work it is too and so I appreciate it when he does it.

Having the time where I have done no house work whatsoever really made me realise how much housework there is to do.

My lovely DH is a wonderful father and husband.

I would also say that apart from a period of illness and the general madness of trying to cope with work and a baby I have always felt so blessed. I saw a grandmother who struggled to bring up a very large Catholic family as a single parent and it made me appreciate that my life was not going to be like that. I also appreciate that so many people discount the little bits of housework that are still housework. So much of my grandmothers life was just expected, I mean her children are fantastic and they valued and loved her dearly and she did a wonderful job - but I often wonder - how did she do it, why was this not captured / understood documented like her husbands war service was, part of this was because she worked in the home but some of it was because her role was not truly valued by society.

(Btw, my copy of Wifework has the pink cover and I suspect it looks to most people as if it is full of helpful tips on how to be a better 1950s style wife. Oh, no!)

Sorry, I'm over-eager.

I am currently seeing how long it takes before DH notices housework needs doing, so i have lots of free time!

Mine is reading Delusions of Gender at the moment.

I just bumped the August bookclub thread so we can chat there whenever? (love the new name btw plenty).

My copy arrived yesterday

I should get time on the bus to read a few chapters today and tomorrow but no time til Friday to post thoughts.

Mmm, that's an appealing image SaF ....

It was actually 3 years, I was corrected on that. What did she do exactly? Are feminists really powerless? I think not

love that harman was meant to smash the patriarchy single handed in 3 years - will always see her with pants over her tights from now on.

Alice - I never would have thought it was, you see, but all the 'Harman had 13 years and did nothing' makes me think that probably some people do think that if women don't do well out of marriage, it's their problem to sort out too.

Btw, if you all did less wifework* you'd have more time to read ...

Very interesting question LRD!

I guess we've all consumed it by some kind of chinese whispers procedure then!

I do read fast, I'm lucky.

Alice I love the 'I've done basically jack, except fight patriarchy' ... d'you think fighting patriarchy counts as part of the wifework feminists get lumbered with?

Provincial, do you want to discuss it here or on the bookclub thread? SGM linked it so I guess she doesn't mind us bumping it?

Have to admit that I was reading the real life book on the sofa on Sunday,\but my lovely Kindle is so much easier to put in my bag for the commute......No excuses. Back into to tomorrow.

I thought you only got damn book this morning?

I thought that. It feels like just now you said you'd started LRD! I've done basically jack, except fight patriarchy witter on MN and you've read a whole book

i don't like pink. i guess i would have starved.

i haven't read it lrd.

do you just consume books at the speed of light woman?

Yeh evopsych/neurosexism shite. This is the planets one not Wifework. Did you know that women like the colour pink cos we used to look for berries? That's true that is.

Right, I've just finished reading Wifework. It's funny how much of all this stuff just trickles down through MN and I kept thinking 'hmm, but SaF/HereBe/Milly/Dittany/Proles has already said that' before, erm, remembering you probably got it from her!

Ah is it full of evopsych shite? Or am I getting carried away by talk of berries and caves?

By the law of averages, most self help books are going to have some worthwhile stuff in them.

Mostly shite though... the fucking cave stuff. I haven't even read the book and I gibber at the thought of that.