Have ordered Wifework....slightly concerned about the after effects

Oh my, looks like you should just suck it up,TPL.

"It affects my choice of job but not his, the hours I work but not his, etc." This encapsulates one of my core reasons for being a feminist.

Would he be willing to read it too? And what is/would be his response to the statement I picked out?

Well sadi Carocaro.
If you enter into this with divisive ideas about what is yours and what is his responsibility ,then you will just become bitter and twisted.

A constructive partnership is one where people engage in the necessary work (paid or unpaid) which ensures best outcome for all members of the family.

I do most of the domestic stuff (and work f/t and raise 2 kids) because my dh is abroad most of the time. I don't resent this. His earning powere and skills are such that in this way we are able to benefit maximally to suit us all.

You chose to do it so why moan? To me, and I have been a SAHM for 6 years and all that housework stuff yes it can be a bore, but it's a total no brainer I just get on with it. I don't resent it. DH does not particularly enjoy driving round the motorways of the UK and being stuck in traffic for hours on end with leg cramp, hours in endless meetings with idiots, but it's part of the job and he knew about it when taking up the job. We do not waste breath on whining about the stuff we just have to get on with.

Housework and taking care of the children does not A define me or B demean me. My choice of work is affected, as DH travels in the UK and Europe a lot and for me, I did not want a job which meant due to DH's work I would be left holding the baby 99% of the time, no good for the children. He helps around the house, and when I need some extra help I ask and he helps - so hard!!!! So I just adjusted and am starting my own business from home, in the same field, and I am loving it. My children are now older, last DS has just started reception. I get fed up with women being their own worst enemy, not you particularly, but others, all this "I am now a worthless person who can only dust and hoover with no brain" Women moan they are labeled but they lable themselves. Instead of a "I am a fantastic, strong, clever talented woman" it all "I am a SAHM with no brain and little to offer whoose OH can't lift a duster"

I am certainly better, wiser, more enriched for having children, being a SAHM and a wife and I don't see it as a life sucking degenerative experience. I also find it shocking that you seem somewhat scare and reluctant to have to discuss this with you DH? You are not subserviant to him are you? Instead of 'slight resentment and bubbling under the surface', speak to him FGS! Is it his fault you are resentful because you say nothing? No, it's yours.

You want him to help but your standards are better, so he's buggered from the get go. Is that all there is in life, a pefect clean and tidy house to prove who you are? You seem to have been on a downer with the lable WIFE from the get go, so this has scewed your perception on it all.

You don't need anyone to tell you what you need to do as it really is not that complicated. Just discuss it with your DH and OMG you might reach a better understanding and feel better about the future and you don't need a book to do that.