Deleted threads

bob, I am not 'pissed off' as you put it ... just upset and hurt that you did not choose to take my post in the sense it was meant. It makes me feel like not bothering another time, to be honest! No one will listen to you if every remark gets the same over-the-top angry response. It's not rational or sensible.

I think you'll find it's trolls and derailers who we would wish to suppress, edd.

erm, where's anyone said aabout you making rape jokes?

#The runaway train came off the tracks...

beach, thank you acknowledging that my remark was just a joke.

I have been trying very hard to be understanding because debate and discussion is what this site is for, and obviously it's important to welcome all points of view. I admit I do not always understand bob and edd's sense of humour but you would think they would give me credit for trying to understand and listen and offering a little joke because I know the enjoy making jokes. It was meant as a friendly gesture but clearly they are both not able to take a little support and lose some of this extreme emotional defensiveness. I am quite shocked actually. I thought they wanted debate but they just want to tell me to shut up.

What I find funny is that feminists on these boards preach equality, yet want to suppress mens freedom of speech. How is this equal?

Good point Beachcomber.

Dittany has been a hero of mine for a while now and to lose her voice on this forum would be a real blow for this section.

Personally I couldn't give a flying f@k whether LRD* intended that as a joke or not, seriously we do not need several pages devoted to apologies, accusations and self-importance when we're about to lose one of the most knowledgeable and vocal feminists on this board.

Men with genuine interest in feminism and who have a clue, take remarks like the one by LRD on the chin as a leetle joking way of saying - you are doing one of the above from beachcomber's post.

They then STFU and ponder why they might be pissing the feminists off. Then they participate in raising their own consciousness.

They don't start moaning to everybody that they don't get a fucking cookie every time they post mainstream obvious shite.

Beachcomber talks sense

And no antimacassars.

Well said beach.

All Aboard.

There is no buffet car on this service because you don't deserve it.

Right so here we are losing probably the most valued poster on the feminist section and we are expected to put up with some newbie male posters whining and cluttering up the section with a whole lot of shite about themselves.

Men who genuinely care about feminism enter feminist spaces with caution, respect, their listening skills engaged and they try to lay down their male privilege at the fucking door. In other words, they lie low and take up as little space as possible. They don't take offence at women not having a great deal of time for them and their opinions and they don't; speak down to women, tell women what feminism is about, tell women about their own oppression, make jokes about rape, post misogynistic shite, post mainstream patriarchal shite, patronise women (ie mansplaining), act privileged, act like dicks, generalise about feminists, suggest than feminism is about man bashing or that feminists sites are about man bashing. If they do any of these things they only have themselves to blame when feminists frankly cannot be arsed with them and are irritated by their presence. They also don't tell women that they are doing feminism wrong or that they are putting men like themselves off feminism.

Any other course of action, gets under the collective feminist nose, for acting oppressive and privileged and not even having the fucking gumption to know that one is acting in the traditional mainstream patriarchal manner that women are trying to get away from by creating feminist discussion boards.

Now of course there are plenty of heavily moderated feminist boards which wouldn't let this sort of posting even see the light of day. There are many feminist boards and blogs which are 'no dude zones'. Because that is what women have to do if they want to talk about issues which concern them without having to put up with patriarchal bullshity behaviour and rapey shit.

All I can do is say i hope you get the support you need. I apologize deeply that you were so upset by a lighthearted comment, which was intended and made in a friendly manner.

I can see you are feeling too emotional about this to engage with me in a rational way, but I assure you, a joke is really just that: a joke. I have done my best to understand you and help you. That's all I or anyone else can do for you.

Rah rah rah, he's back!

Oh damn, I've been so busy recently, I haven't been around so much and haven't had time to vacuum the red carpet i usually roll out for new posters.

Damn, damn damn. And now we've lost him. He'll never come back,

BobBanana - Thanks and goodbye.

There's a more approriate forum for that comment.

:applies for a post as a trainee thread police officer:

Oh, well, I can't stop you leaving. I have tried my best to help you and engage with you, it is all I can do.

I am sorry to prove you wrong, bob, but you did. Right after you posted, you started a reply addressing edd by name, and accusing all of the other posters of not making you welcome. This is very hurtful when I had specifically tried to make you welcome with a joke. It is really not the way to help people to see your point, when you just attack at the slightest imagined provocation. It is very important to respect other people's intentions, bob, and I'm afraid I feel your obvious emotional issues (which I accept must be very upsetting for you) are preventing you from doing this in my case.

Don't be silly Frothy everyone knows feminists are humorless harridans. It's nonsense to say they get jokes.

Still here Bob? For someone who's given up on this section, you do hang around a lot don't you? Not that I'm saying you shoudln't, why not, but it does come across as a bit needy.