Need your insight on... discourse techniques to keep inequality going

ACAS, try ACAS as well. Just really sorry to hear about what happened.

Union! They should at least give you some advice. Try disability rights organisations who might help with some kind of advocate. I'm absolutely knackered so not totally with it atm, sorry.

Oh no. Only just seen this Double; don't think that we have forgotten about you. It sounds like -if the demotion and pay cut are to happen-that you will need to proceed to legal arbitration (which I realise you don't want to do because of it tiring you further).
All I can say is that in the short term you need to rest and get over the meeting. Then think about how to proceed.
In the meantime I'm sending a unMN as I think you need it.

Bump
Any update for us DoubleLife?

Fingers crossed here in anticipation (although it's still Wednesday over here). Will be thinking about you tomorrow morning (afternoon for you!)
Good luck.

Thisteldew speaks much sense Double. I also think if you are only alloted an hour this could help you deflect the derailing. As she and I suggest make a list of replies to derailment questions/gambits and memorise them. I also agree that by "keeping things friendly" probably isn't a good aim. I would aim for polite and civil; but not friendly. Friendly means there is confidence in each other and this -from what I gather is not the case. You being friendly might be maknig it easier for them to belittle the problem; they don't see it worth dealing with.

Try hard not to let "feeling squished" overwhelm you in the meeting. Remember you have everything on your side, starting with the relevant employment legislation. You are in the right. You are doing them a favour by trying to come to a civil agreement; not the other way round. It is not for you to be making sacrifices to fit in with them; rather the other way round. The ball is in their court not yours.

Thinking of you.

Re the belittling and blaming. Remind them to stick to the facts. Say "I can see that we disagree on how this has come about, you say x, I say y, but what is important is that the situation is z and we need to agree on how to reach a solution".

OP - it does seem that you have prepared well and already presented them with the information they need, but you may find that a document structured in the way I have suggested will help you maintain a structure to the meeting, and focus on the important points.

I do hope it helps. It is much easier to plan and present things when it is about someone else's problems, not your own.

Fantastic advice, thistledew, imo. Wish I'd had you with me back then!

Good luck, Double. Be the boss. xx

I wouldn't try too hard to 'keep things friendly' as you put it.

Of course you need to remain civil and professional, but this is a work issue that you have to resolve, not a disagreement with your sister.

A formal, neutral tone will have more impact, and will make your points stronger. Being too friendly may suggest that you are not taking it very seriously.

You sound like you have prepared well, but I agree that you should prepare a summary document. Not because they need saving from having to read and consider the issues fully, but because it will help you to keep the meeting on track. I would suggest that you prepare something much long the lines of the following and send it to the relevant people before the meeting, on Wednesday afternoon if at all possible.

1. Summary of the facts and chronology. Keep to the facts as you see them and avoid matters of opinion, or things that are open to interpretation/disagreement.

1. Your aims of the meeting. What you say is important to achieve, and what they may also consider important.

1. Why it is important that they make the changes you are suggesting. What is the importance to the business, what is the importance to you.

1. What are the steps that need to be taken to achieve the outcomes you need.

Attach to the summary a copy of the work plan you have already drafted, but be prepared to work through it an amend it during the meeting if necessary.

Take notes as you go through the meeting, and don't be afraid to ask people to pause to allow you time to write if necessary.

Try to take control of the meeting from the outset. Start off by saying "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. You will have the summary document I have prepared, which I have prepared so that we can focus on the most important issues that we have to discuss in the next hour".

In terms of how to deal with the derailing tactics they may use, you can use your presentation of the summary and the one hour time limit you have been given to your advantage. If they try to derail, say "I note what you are saying, but it is taking us away from the key issues. I will take a note to address it and put my thoughts in writing after this meeting". If they insist in discussing irrelevant matters, challenge them on it. Say "I cannot see how this relates to the matters we need to discuss. Please can you explain". Make them justify going off track, rather than you justifying keeping them on it. If discussions are going around in circles, remind them of the limit of time and move on to the next point you need to discuss.

I'm not sure if this is a feminist analysis of discourse, or even a particularly feminist way of doing things (if such a thing exists), but hopefully it will help you to play them at their own game and retain the power balance in your favour.

I hope this helps. Good luck with your meeting.

If all else fails, call the Daily Mail and sell your story. They'd jump over a thing like this

Huh, so they reckon an hour is enough because they don't think there's much to discuss ... and can't be arsed to attend to your very diligent work? No wonder you felt squished.

What you've done sounds amazing!

Can you request a pre-meeting meeting, for the purpose of guiding them through your submission? It does look like the right time to start worrying them a bit more - use plenty of buzzwords to suggest they may be in trouble if they don't look after you, so how handy that you've provided them with an ideal solution.

Checking in here too. Keep us posted!