British men choosing foreign wives for their "Stepfordesqeness"

There certainly are scammy dating agencies. I've worked on a few chatlines/text lines in the past where the customers are encouraged to believe that sooner or later these 'hot women looking for sex' will meet them when actually the 'hot women' consist of a bought-in set of old glamour photographs and any one of about 100 operators pretending to be Naughty Nancy or Sexy Sue... Sounds to me like these international agencies are just more full on versions of the same thing.

WhentheRed I'm a bit confused as to what your comment has to do with this thread.

Would you care to expand upon your point? I'm really lost as to what you are trying to say.

Indeed . Look at Rupert Murdoch's ex wife (Chinese). She came to the US, got off with the husband of the kind married couple who took her in which led to their divorce and then dumped the husband for one of the richest men on the planet who later divorced her because of alleged non sexual contact with a certain ex PM.

My dd was in america last year and was talking to asian women who married so she could live with the USA. She got a divorce from him after a few months and got a generous settlement (65% of his monthly income in alimony). Apparently a lot of women do this and some states have divorce laws which heavily favour women.

A friend recently told me about his friend who had divorced (he was rich). The recently divorced man remarried a Russian girl young enough to be his daughter very quickly. All his male friends tried to warn him it would end in tears as some of these women have a plan - you stay married long enough to have 2 children with him to tie it all in financially and then you leave. That is exactly what happened - she is now divorcing him and taking him to the cleaners now that she has had two children with him. Another example is that 40 something male gold dealer man who was murdered whilst his 20 year old foreign girl friend who is about his daughter's age was in the car and his 22 or whatever year old Slovakian ex was in the house with his or her gun polishing him off.

That does not mean it does not always work.

We were away at Christmas at a hotel and on the next table were 2 Asian families (French but Indian or middle Eastern). My daughter (adult ) hated them (from afar) because the men did absolutely nothing - the wives got up from thet able and for any self service breakfast or puddings the wives were running round after them like virtual servants. Mind you I was probably the only woman in the room who earned enough to pay for a family to stay there. Everyone else funding the luxury stay was male at dinner every night. It's probably all about money and power - if you earn a lot you pull the strings so the message to women is get out there and out earn men.

I used to work for a wealthy man who married a stunning asian lady because he thought she would be willing to look after the house and do all the cleaning

Didnt work out well for him though as after two years she divorced him and took him to the cleaners in divorce. Hes living in a bedsit somewhere in london last time I heard bless him

I met my DH while I was working in Moscow.

I was responding to your comment about the only ''legitimate'' reason to date a Russian. However, I note that you have since elaborated on your point and I would certainly agree with you if you are talking solely about somebody signing up to an international dating site.

I agree with you that they are simply perpetuating an idealised myth. However, large numbers of naive American men - and it is mostly Americans - do fall for it and end up with very unrealistic expectations.

The problem comes when reality and fantasy collide and these men realise that middle-aged Hank with a blue collar job from Pigs Knuckle, Arkansas isn't really much in demand by 20 something models.

I am certainly no supporter in any way of these agencies and certainly don't condone any sort of exploitation. However, in the case of the article that you linked to a friend of mine, as I've already posted above, has a cousin who is involved with that actual site. She is paid to pretend to be interested in these men who write to the agency and she is also paid to chat with men and pretend that she is actually looking for a relationship. This is just a job for her.

Now, I am sure that if Brad Pitt turned up one day then she would genuinely be interested. But, failing that, her job is to pretend that she is a genuine member of a dating site and that she is genuinely interested in these men. That is the part that is fraudulent.

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I also agree with DadWasHere - although I wouldn't use such a bad word myself and certainly not in print.

nicky, I don't know how you met your husband. But why would anyone sign up to a dating site where "the majority of our [insert desired gender] members are Russian" unless they were attracted by their Russian-ness? If you go looking for a date on a site where the nationality/ethnicity of the other members is not specified, and are attracted to someone's looks and personality, then of course it is incidental if they are Russian. When you are visiting a Russian Brides site, it is not.

What struck me is the extraordinary lengths to which Rose Brides has gone to reassure their male western customers that they can have a cross-cultural relationship without leaving their comfort zone. The Russian lady will move to his country, adapt to his culture, speak his language, and take it upon herself to be patient and tolerant and "make the extra effort". It is implied that the man doesn't have to do any of this, beyond the bare minimum of not being a scumbag. Yet somehow he has earned the "extra effort" she makes. It's the language of entitlement.

The blurb is reinforcing the fantasy of Russian women as pliant and obedient while trying to fend off a negative stereotype that they are cold and difficult. Which is all crap. The only thing distinctive about Russian women is that they are Russian. If a man has no particular interest in Russia, why is he looking for a Russian bride?

That RoseBrides material... bliat.

The only legitimate reason to want to date a Russian woman is her Russian-ness

I would really disagree with this. I've never dated a Russian woman - or any woman, come to that - but I have dated a Russian man, in fact I even married one. If you read my above post you'll see that my DH is Russian.

So the fact that I was attracted to my DH's looks and personality are not ''legitimate''?

By the way, I presume that you are not so incredibly sexist as to distinguish between dating a Russian woman and a Russian man?

Believe me, dealing with differences in culture is definitely not an ''attraction'' although, admittedly, it does make for an interesting life. It has certainly opened my eyes to things that I had never considered before and I have certainly changed my DH's opinions on certain matters.
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this was disturbing:

They may also have low self-esteem and be insecure.

BriarRainbowshimmer I agree with you. From my time living in Russia I would say that this was no more or no less common than in this country. It is really sad that they are trying to highlight that.

The only legitimate reason to want to date a Russian woman is her Russian-ness — a quality that is conspicuously absent among all that universalising waffle. If you're going to date an 'exotic' other, then why would you be interested in "overlooking your differences"? Surely that's the attraction.

Unless you were just after a pretty blonde fetish object who would owe it to you to do your housework and childcare, too.

Other than describing Russian women like they all are the same person, this was disturbing:

They may also have low self-esteem and be insecure.

They're advertising this as a positive thing

I've met a few catalogue purchasing men as my step FIL lives in Thailand.

They advertise the main advantage as submissive.

This section on Rosebrides is interesting. Especially the way they group all Russian women, and European women into one category...

Why Russian Women?
There are several reasons to choose RoseBrides.com over other sites if you are considering international dating. The majority of our female members are Russian – and here we talk about why Russian women are so desirable. Simply put, Russian women come from a culture of people who are generally laid back, friendly, open-minded, accepting and not quick to judge. Most Russians learned English in elementary school and can get up to speed very quickly when in a relationship. Russian women are pleasant to be around – and their highest priority is security and love.
Marriage on the Horizon
Russian women see their futures as wives and mothers, more so than many Western women. The idea of raising a family with a loving husband is important to many women the world over, but the importance of family for Russian women is what makes them special. Russian women value commitment and seek men who are willing and able to commit for the long term.
In Russian society women are expected to marry and have children. Career success is not a substitute for a family – marriage and children are the primary ways Russians define success for women.
Forget Tired Stereotypes
The Russian women on RoseBrides.com are not poverty stricken and seeking a man to rescue them. Russian women like to work and are ambitious, contrary to the myth that they are lazy and looking for someone to take care of them. They are well educated, well spoken, intelligent women who simply haven’t found what they’re looking for at home. They will look at what you have to offer in terms of a different perspective on life, among other things. Russian women typically know exactly what they’re looking for.
Although Russian women are very family-oriented, this doesn’t mean they prefer to stay home with the kids all their life. In fact, combining a job with children is perfectly normal for Russian women, though family interests are their highest priority.
Russian women have a lot to offer in return. They typically are not seeking a country to take refuge in, but a man who meets their high standards and excites their heart. If you are that man, dating a Russian woman can be exciting and fruitful for both of you.
Personality
Russian women enjoy shopping, chatting and other typical feminine pursuits. They are very generous by nature, spiritual and family oriented and do not like taking advantage of people.
In general Russian women are much more patient than Western women and can tolerate things others could never bear. They are partners, not competitors. They may also have low self-esteem and be insecure.
Russians have a high degree of general knowledge and read more than the average Westerner. Russia has a system of specialized professional training that may be superior to that in the West. Russians enjoy theatre, opera and other live performances; those who live in large cities can attend regularly because tickets are not very expensive.
Overlooking Your Differences
As noted earlier, Russian women come from a culture of people who are generally laid back, friendly, open-minded, accepting and not quick to judge. So it’s unlikely you’ll encounter a woman who is so enthralled by her own culture that it results in a culture clash. She will likely enjoy spending time with you at your favorite hotspots and at sports events – and appreciate the opportunity to learn about your country. Because a Russian woman on RoseBrides.com is expressly seeking a Western man, she will be more than willing to learn about you and your culture. Having studied English in school, she will quickly master it and adapt to a new country, even though it won’t be easy to leave her country.
The Truth of the Matter
Much of what you may have heard about Russian women are myths. Indeed, we’ve heard from many happy Western men about how wonderful Russian women are. Russian women make great wives because they make the extra effort and are good at adapting to new situations – including moving to a distant country and learning the ways of a new culture.
You’ll also be pleased to know that the success rate for international marriages is significantly higher than that for conventional marriages. This is due to the careful research and attention two people on the Internet put into the process compared to people who meet at home and marry impulsively. You can count on a Russian woman to put everything she has into your blossoming relationship.

I find most wives quite stepfordy, no matter where they are from. I don't blame the wives. The majority of wives still do the majority of the housework, raising the kids etc, the only difference being that most Western women have jobs on top of all that. I don't think I know of one relationship where the work, housework and childcare is shared equally. I also see far too many women putting their useless men on a pedastal. And I think - WAKE UP.

I'm sure Asian women/Eastern European women look at Western women and think we must be stupid for trying to do it all, while we look at them and think they must be stupid for being so housewifey.

And meanwhile, men do whatever the hell they like and get away with it.

""To put it bluntly, the men who join these agencies expect that their fee will allow them to exploit women's poverty without the risk of being exploited in return."

Exactly.

That's a very loose definition of 'dating agency', which highlights the lack of regulation in what has become a big, global industry.

Why are we only talking about scams on the "seller's" side? I'm sure there are "customers" who are not quite as solvent, single, or dedicated to getting a visa for a near-stranger as they make out. The only way the agency can deter these timewasters is to charge a hefty fee (thus redirecting them to another, even less regulated sphere of the dating 'industry'). But this is obviously not practical at the "seller's" end.

To put it bluntly, the men who join these agencies expect that their fee will allow them to exploit women's poverty without the risk of being exploited in return. I find that more cynical than the women's "emotional prostitution" decried in the article.

Of course desperate and gullible men will be among the exploited in the globalised, barely regulated dating marketplace. Perhaps such men (and their journalist friends) will one day notice that the unrestricted commercialisation of sex and intimacy is harmful to lots of other people, too.

Oh how weird. This thread is from ages ago!