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Original poster

Can you be a feminist housewife?

661 replies

wigglybeezer · 30/08/2011 14:00

Can you be a feminist if you don't have a career but your DH does, especially if this situation has been going on for a long time (13 years in my case)?

I don't feel downtrodden by the way, merely a bit bored and lacking in choice ATM. I earn a small amount of money, so don't have to ask DH for everything but I'm wondering if my Granny (who was a hospital consultant) was a better feminist than me. I just found a photo of her and her pals at medical school where she has noted on the back that there were 18 female medical students out of 180!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:06

we could have managed on dp salary but i never wanted to sahm. i chose to work there was not financial necessity to do so

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:03

You weren't fortunate, you just made a choice, is all.
I dunno, lots of women have little choice. They simply cannot raise a family on one salary alone.
You only have real choice if you can.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:00

but if female salary decrease because sahm doesnt work,well thats to be expected. if you reduce your working hours or dont work obviously expect a salary decrease

i maintained same employer,mat leaves 6mth.have been promoted.motherhood isnt an inevitable financial decline.but i planned for my return,and how to maintain career.i was fortunate

this isnt case for all women

but dont compare someone who voluntarily doesnt return to her job to be sahm with a woman who experiences institutional sexism in workplace.some careers are v family unfriendly

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:57

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HereBeBolloX · 31/08/2011 21:56

So what's the solution then?

We live in a society where women have to take a financial hit for bearing and nurturing children.

Are we happy with that? Do we say, OK, women either have to stop bearing and nurturing children, or they have to accept taking a financial hit because our society sees the reproduction of children as a cost, rather than an investment?

Or do we change society?

TheRealMBJ · 31/08/2011 21:55

Good posts HerBe and Lenin.

Just to add, men's salaries actually increase after having children while women's decrease.

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 21:52

I'm disagreeing with your solution Lenin, not over whether there is an issue to be addressed.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:51

you do know there is a school of thought would say
prove it
links
references
but i dont adhere to that mince

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:49

really?ok

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:47

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LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:43

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:42

lenin applications for carers allowance undergo a carer assessment.as a minimum to met carer,discuss care provided and frequency.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:41

it would be a huge and unfair tax burden
i would also expect to be paid,certainly not fair to pay some womens for childcare but not all

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:39

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beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 21:37

It has, and it has had little impact on the status of that work. The amount involved is not enough for financial independence, and to roll it out as a universal benefit for all carers, including those of young children, would be a massive tax burden.

startAfire · 31/08/2011 21:37

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:36

there is a sw carers assessment undertaken to determine if regular and substantial care is provided, assess and cost any potential care package,meet all concerned

slightly different process for mental health and children

carers also undertake self assessment

startAfire · 31/08/2011 21:34

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LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:32

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beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 21:31

Do you think the role of the carer is valued as a result of carer's allowance though Lenin? Sadly I don't think it is.

HereBeBolloX · 31/08/2011 21:31

Have you read the rest of the thread coconut?

I"m not sure anyone would argue that there's anything remotely feminist about being forced to go to paid work when you'd rather look after your children. That sounds more like late capitalism to me.

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 21:30

Dr Coconut, I agree.

Most women I know who work do so through need rather than choice.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:29

feminism doesnt guarantee right to sahm role DrC.economic circumstances and recession are determining your return to work.like most other families its the money that cuts it. your freedom of choice to chose sahm is balanced against ability to meet financial demands.and it is hard if it feels like a wrench to you

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 21:28

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 21:26

in most cases its family yes.and sw meet and assess the carer situation and claim