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Original poster

Can you be a feminist housewife?

661 replies

wigglybeezer · 30/08/2011 14:00

Can you be a feminist if you don't have a career but your DH does, especially if this situation has been going on for a long time (13 years in my case)?

I don't feel downtrodden by the way, merely a bit bored and lacking in choice ATM. I earn a small amount of money, so don't have to ask DH for everything but I'm wondering if my Granny (who was a hospital consultant) was a better feminist than me. I just found a photo of her and her pals at medical school where she has noted on the back that there were 18 female medical students out of 180!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:46

someone else suggested sahm salary to boost poor self esteem.its impaired apparently

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 22:45

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:41

indeed.given unable to enforce maintenance when relationship broken down any suggestion of payment to current relationship is daft

maybe women shouldn't put self in such precarious position of being unwaged and dependent upon a partner or hoping for state supplement to boost lleged poor self esteem and monies

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 22:40

"So what's the solution then?"

HereBeBolloX · 31/08/2011 22:37

Ah yes, because the state has a great record of getting men to pay their fair share for childcare.... 3/5 of lone parents don't get maintenance... so our state's not so hot on making compulsory payment happen, is it?

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:33

well if some want to dip partners wage to boost yourself esteem by giving themselves a so called wage.i dont expect there to be a queue of wage earners so id envisage take off at source.compulsory payment

HereBeBolloX · 31/08/2011 22:30

LOL at the image of the state "imposing compulsory payment"

"Here, you, your NI number says you have got to take this wad of cash. You've got to have it, whether you want it or not. No, you've got to, we'll lock you up if you refuse to take it. You're not allowed to give it away, you're not allowed to give it to charity, you've got to go out and spend it all in Mothercare or McDonalds - or we'll fine you."

I expect the sinister Mr Brown would have been round all our houses doing that, if he'd been re-elected. The state is terrifying isn't ti. I have nightmares about the DWP viciously placing thousands of pounds in my bank account against my will. Horrifying prospect, strikes at the heart of contract between the state and the individual, blah di blah...

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:23

Don't be disappointed on my account, notletting, please.

I am an educated professional who chooses not to go out to work. For many reasons.

My children certainly aren't disappointed or my husband, parents, local community, friends.

Just you, it seems! Grin

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 22:23

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notlettingthefearshow · 31/08/2011 22:20

I seem to be in a minority here, but I feel disappointed when women choose not to work long term in favour of bringing up their children, if they have bothered to build a career they find satisfying (it's more understandable if it's a job rather than a career they give up). I feel it is a shame for womankind that these intelligent women are no longer in the workplace.

However, I can't argue this very well - I suppose the point of feminism is that women have the choice to work, regardless of whether they take it or not.

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:20

Which I agree with.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:18

if housewife and wage earner want to negotiate their own finances,fine
but no the state should not intervene or impose compulsory payment

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:18

How would a husband paying his wife be feminist?

It would be awful! How humiliating! Our money is our money, not mine or his.

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:17

SM, most of my ( intelligent, highly educated) female friends would rather NOT work, no. they would rather have the opportunities to do other things with their lives. but the mortgage has to be paid.

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 22:15

What individual men? The partners of the SAHP? As in they pay their partners formally for childcare services?

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 22:15

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:14

what scores of things?
compulsory salary deduction from the partner of the housewife?

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 22:13

Then we're not talking about you then Justfeckinggoogleit. Most women don't have very well paid husbands for a start.

LeninGrad · 31/08/2011 22:11

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scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:10

do you really labour under premise women dont want to work?want to be maintained by partner wage. fact is some do,and some most certainly dont

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:09

My status is perfectly raised, thank you.
I am a married woman with children who doesn't work because I don't need to and choose not to.

I can't think of a better status to be in, if I'm honest!

HereBeBolloX · 31/08/2011 22:09

Yes, if women do what men do, they can often earn almost as much as men and do very well.

But when women do what women do, that's when they get shafted.

Childcare is as valuable as working in the cash economy. So why does it result in poverty?

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 22:09

unworkable because too costly and not required.untenable

Justfeckinggoogleit · 31/08/2011 22:08

But not everyone has the choice. Most don't , I think.

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 22:08

Don't know. Anything I think of seems unworkable or ineffective! I don't think we should do something for which we already have a pilot study if you like, which has not worked either to give economic independence to those in receipt of it, or to raise their status, just to do something.

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