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Original poster

'It's OK to be single.' I think that's probably the most important message feminism has to offer.

88 replies

solidgoldbrass · 28/08/2011 01:27

That's just It's OK To Be SIngle. It's not 'You can't be a feminist if you have a male partner', nor is it 'Feminism means hating men and never having sex with one again.'
But if you accept and understand that It's OK To Be Single you put up with less crap from men who think the worst thing they can threaten you with is leaving and rendering you single.

OP posts:
IntergalacticHussy · 28/08/2011 21:53

It's definitely a very important message. I am so sick of reading dd1 pwincess stories where the whole thing revolves around placating a dictatorial father and marrying a sodding pwince! It is positively inconcievable that she might survive without either patriarchal figure. Make yourself happy first, is what we should be telling our daughters, and you do that by filling up your life with things and people you love, not desperately waiting for someone else to complete you!

garlicnutter · 28/08/2011 21:46

I was trivialising the point a bit there. Sorry. Of course it's important for young women to know it really is OK to be single.

garlicnutter · 28/08/2011 21:45

Well, you get 25% off your council tax! And the pensions bias has been fixed (thanks to someone on here for pointing that out).

And, when you get past 50, people stop asking why you're single. Blessed relief Grin

HereBeBolloX · 28/08/2011 21:45

Yes, good point AW. Young people should be encouraged to recognise the pressures on them to couple up from a young age.

AliceWyrld · 28/08/2011 21:39

I think OK to be single, along with highlighting the barriers to being so. It is OK to be single, but there are plenty of messages and sanctions to tell people it's not, which I wouldn't want to get hidden. (Not that I think that is what you were suggesting OP, but I wanted to get that in)

HereBeBolloX · 28/08/2011 21:19

Yes, it's really important to tell women that being single, far from meaning that you hate men and never have sex with one again, means that you have an endless choice of lovely men to have sex with (should you want to) as long as you're single and you don't have to pick their socks up (unless you want to because you've got some kind of wierd fetish).

And it doesn't mean you hate or despise anyone who is happily monogamous either - that's nice too and you can support other people's relationships and lifestyles without having to live the same way as them, just as you can support someone else's parenting without having to use the same methods in your own family.

justforaminute · 28/08/2011 17:31

yep i agree SGB.
the trouble is though[i feel]is that in this...we have to get rid of the single parent bashing and bad attitudes towards it.
some women put up with bad men as they are afraid to be single parents.

sparky

garlicnutter · 28/08/2011 17:00

Somewhat unsure about it being the most important message. Equal rights, equal reward and equal opportunity beat social approval imo. But, other things being equal: yes. Don't think you can ideologically dispense with the normative urge to mate and form family unit, though.

Justfeckinggoogleit · 28/08/2011 10:08

Absolutely.
I would far, far rather be happy single than living with a fuckwit.
Sadly, millions of women don't seem to see it that way.

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/08/2011 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rejectOfAllah · 28/08/2011 02:51

I agree, in fact I actively encourage men to remain single.

tallwivglasses · 28/08/2011 02:19

I'm single and It is more than okay. Smile

UsingMainlySpoons · 28/08/2011 02:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.