Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Sally Bercow on BB.....does she, or any spouse, have a duty to their spouses job/role?

66 replies

ThePosieParker · 18/08/2011 10:47

She's going in BB, her husband is a public, very public, servant does she make his position and role more difficult?

Are we all a little responsible to 'behave' when our partner's employers/public may view us an extension of them?

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 18/08/2011 18:17

It is, actually, a tricky one regardless of gender. Because nice people who love their spouses do not want the spouse to feel stifled or in second place all the time, but equally, if your spouse does something daft or bad or ill-advised in public, it is going to reflect on you. Consider, for instance, the police officer whose partner is involved in campaigning for the legalisation of recreational drugs, or the organic farmer who falls in love with a vivisectionist or whatever.

PamBeesly · 18/08/2011 16:31

No unless you are married to a magician and you are their assistant, then you better stay still while they throw knives at you.

EdithWeston · 18/08/2011 15:43

I think "duty" is too strong a word.

But I think evidence of poor judgement in any sphere of your life will make your role harder, regardless of performance in your job. If your spouse makes a laughing stock out of you, it would rebound badly. So I see this as a continuum, and there is a (variable) point which cannot be overstepped without consequences. Where this point might be is a matter for both parties in the couple to work out.

I don't see this as a directly gendered issue - not least as the highest profile example of a totally dutiful and supportive spouse is Prince Phillip - but given the general distribution of jobs/roles puts men in the "higher status" positions, then it is does become an indirect one.

MillyTant · 18/08/2011 15:28

I wouldn't do anything deliberately that might embarress my DH professionally ( can't speak for the unintentional after a few vinos though Grin!) and that is mutual in our relationship.

If Mr Bercow is happy, that is all that matters.

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 18/08/2011 15:26

I like your take on it VC.

OP posts:
VictorGollancz · 18/08/2011 15:24

I have a fairly positive view of Bercow, that I wouldn't have had otherwise (as in, I doubt I would have had an opinion at all), due to the way in which he clearly views his wife as a person in her own right.

bemybebe · 18/08/2011 11:41

she was an amazing Speaker, wasn't she? we need a lot more of 'Boothroyds' on our tv and a lot less of 'Bercow' of any gender

SpringHeeledJack · 18/08/2011 11:20

I think it's a bit off...would think it was a bit off if Mr Boothroyd had done it, tho

I can't help feeling she's made a sort of faustian pact with Desmond. Is 100 grand really worth it?

RoxyRobin · 18/08/2011 11:06

The way I see it, she's only a 'celebrity' (God help us) by virtue of being the Speaker's wife. So she's not really being 'employed as an individual'.

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 18/08/2011 11:00

I do think it's not very supportive of your spouse to do things that may tarnish their reputation.

OP posts:
bemybebe · 18/08/2011 10:58

I also judge the Speaker for his wife... I am very judgey I guess!..

bemybebe · 18/08/2011 10:56

Jacqui Smith was condemned for sneaking her husband's subscription to porn on to the expenses report. That said I also did judge her ability to do her job whilst also entertaining a husband like that .

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 18/08/2011 10:54

Yes that's true,......Eamon twatface Holmes just said 'if he can't keep his own in order how can keep the house of commons in order?' Shock

Am unwell and so have sent the children to play upstairs with their imaginations whilst I watch, in horror, daytime TV.....misogynist servings of Jeremy Kyle and This morning.

OP posts:
VictorGollancz · 18/08/2011 10:53

I don't think a partner has any obligation to behave, is obviously what I meant to type...

VictorGollancz · 18/08/2011 10:51

Nope! We are employed as individuals. Short of spilling company secrets, I don't think a partner has any

See also Teresa Heinze and Miriam Gonzalez Durantez. On the flipside, I don't really understand why Jacqui Smith was blamed for her husband's use of pornography. Yes, his use of pornography is appalling and he should be roundly condemned; but it's not his wife's fault and certainly doesn't impact on her ability to do her job.

celadon · 18/08/2011 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.