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Original poster

Does penetration = presumption of power/control?

756 replies

skrumle · 17/08/2011 10:53

Was chatting with my H last night and mentioned the Romeo and Juliet law in Ireland that's been discussed on here a few times. Anyway, when I asked if he thought it was reasonable his immediate answer was "no". I then asked him: if our son was gay, and started a conversation about a sexual experience that he was unhappy/uncomfortable about would he be more likely to feel that our son had been forced/co-erced if he was the one penetrated rather than penetrating and got a Confused in reply...

I have to be honest, when I read the original thread on here my automatic view was that to protect girls over boys like this was to deny the fact that girls enjoy sex too, almost like taking a step back. When I read the thread fully though and thought about the implications for girls I probably did start to think that girls should have more protection than boys.

So, should there be a presumption that penetration equals a greater degree of control? So two heterosexual 15yos - greater responsibility lies with the boy to ensure that this is what both of them want?

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 20:49

Do try to speak in whole sentences, Jenny. It makes your posts look so much less like nonsense in a pretentious language.

startAfire · 23/08/2011 20:47

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JennyVexestheWitless · 23/08/2011 20:47

QED

AyeRobot · 23/08/2011 20:38

Bye!

Don't let the door hit your ballsack on your way out.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 20:38

... I do find it remarkable that Jenny's many 'supporters' are all such shrinking violets they can't post a word on the thread but rush to her side with PMs.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 20:36

Gang violence?!

Grin Grin Grin

Oh ... and thanks to my mom, my dad, my cat fluffy and especially my 2,000 biggest fans who PM'ed me with support, it was real tough at times but we got through it together and now I know I will always be strong with Jesus at my side.

JennyVexestheWitless · 23/08/2011 20:33

lol at the current love-in in an attempt to feel better about the earlier gang-violence Grin

JennyVexestheWitless · 23/08/2011 20:31

Public abuse is just fine, but reply to something privately and that's a whole new low? Oh please.

I am realizing what this reminds me of. When I was young, I wasn't really part of the in-crowd of girls and I used to see all manner of bullying and sycophancy: hair-pulling, scratching, name-calling and general bitchiness; I see it here too. Remember the playground anyone?

Well that's fine; I shall leave you to it. My experience of feminism has been tarnished by my time here; some of you do feminism a great disservice - and that was always my point.

Thank you to everyone who PMd me with their support.

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/08/2011 20:25

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UsingMainlySpoons · 23/08/2011 20:14

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LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 20:12

The hell they are! Grin

I do love the way there's a point in almost all teh really long threads where the idea we're discussing links up to about three or four other big issues - it makes it so clear to me that all these things aren't just random issues or picking round the edges, they are all connected to the same underlying structures in society.

SardineQueen · 23/08/2011 20:08

Sorry I know my posts are feminism 101 so will relurk and let you all get on with it Grin

LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 20:02

Sardine - absolutely.

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/08/2011 20:00

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SardineQueen · 23/08/2011 20:00

You know so many of these threads come back to the idea that this victorian idea about men being out in the world and the women being the "queens" at home and basically isolated is a total disaster for us.

It's why MN is so successful - and some find it so threatening.

startAfire · 23/08/2011 19:59

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SardineQueen · 23/08/2011 19:57

Having said that i think the TMI award of the thread so far has to go to Mal's hyperactive cervix Grin

Now there's an image to conjure with!

SardineQueen · 23/08/2011 19:54

spoons I know I didn't mean that snidily, I thought it was funny Grin

I am feeling a bit out of depth with the history/religion stuff so may lurk for a bit Smile This is all fascinating so keep at it!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 19:53

That's true. Sad

I think there's all kinds of ways of being screwed up, basically, mal.

Malificence · 23/08/2011 19:50

I do think that women who are not in good, supportive relationships are uniquely vulnerable when pregnant if they don't have a female support network. There have sadly been far too many posts on MN from women in such situations, pregnancy really does sort out the men from the boys and brings out the utter bastard in certain types of men.

Abusive/controlling men certainly seem to use pregnancy to destroy a woman . It makes me so sad when they always say "but he's such a good dad" when he's usually anything but - strangely, withholding PIV sex always seems to feature heavily in their modus operandi too .

LRDTheFeministDragon · 23/08/2011 19:27

I wonder how much it has to do with us shifting towards binary rather than group relationships ... in a group, if women are pregnant they can support each other and all the men can do the same. In a couple, if a woman is pregnant and her main/only source of support is her partner, she will need him (I mean in really basic ways, like she will probably need someone to help her give birth and cut the cord, there will probably be a point in the pregnancy when she isn't so mobile any more. In modern society we're pretty healthy in pregnancy but I think it used to be much more debilitating). So maybe a pregnancy is also a very visible way of showing women how dependent they can be made/ showing that here is a woman visibly in need of a man.

startAfire · 23/08/2011 19:21

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startAfire · 23/08/2011 19:20

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startAfire · 23/08/2011 19:18

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UsingMainlySpoons · 23/08/2011 19:17

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