Does penetration = presumption of power/control?

brilliant funny bloke = leslie nielsen BTW!

Agree with that post jellybeans.

Anyone remember that scene in naked gun where brilliant funny bloke and priscilla presley get it on, and they have all this ridiculous imagery taking the piss out of hollywood & old tv

Having recapped the thread (I am looking after dd at same time nightmare!) I have realised in the time it took me to write to sq that sparky wrote everything that I meant. I agree with sparkys last post.

Also totally agree with your last message LRD dragon.

'There is a clear divide on this thread between posters who think that PIV sex is naturally and biologically the ultimate sexual activity for both men and women, and those who think that PIV sex is put on a pedestal by men through the media and other patriarchal means.'

SQ this is what I mean. I totally agree that piv sex is focused on by men through the media and think that relates to sakuras point that piv on its own with little foreplay, or focuses on other means such as clitoral stimulation during piv means women get a raw deal. There is a media focus on the womens sole purpose being to pleausre a man but womens pleasure is not a big deal as they care more for the closeness, dont care for the orgasm just to be close to their man etc or other crap you read in articles/the media all the time Women are taking this in and you always see it written on threads on the net and I wasnt talking about anyone on this thread. I just think that this is a cultural message pushed by the media eg mens first in bed pleasure is more important

(sorry if crapply put hope you get jist!)

LRD[16.31]-spot on.

sparky

stripey-thank fuck for youre post....thankyou.[16.31]
yes this is what im saying.

sparky

dont twist my words posie...im saying nothing of the sort[....are in unequel relashionships]
yes we are told that piv is better than anything else [i do agree that its a natural urge though].
well yes..[other sex acts are more about sex ]
and this is what im getting at...there is diffrent ways to make love[obviously]
but this is seen as "just sex"an d not really lovemaking.

sparky

There is a clear divide on this thread between posters who think that PIV sex is naturally and biologically the ultimate sexual activity for both men and women, and those who think that PIV sex is put on a pedestal by men through the media and other patriarchal means.

Makes perfect sense to me sparky.

posie, we are told PIV is better than anything else, just read this thread and you will find people who don't even realize that anything other than PIV is sex.

And I totally disagree that other sex is more about intimacy - why so? Just because it is like that for you, doesn't mean it is for everyone. I doubt most lesbians find the image of PIV especially reminiscent of lovemaking, for starters.

posie you are misunderstanding sparky's posts

and being very rude to her

Sparky, it's rude beyond belief to suggest that women, pretty strong minded women like custy, who say they like PIV are in unequal relationships.

WE're not told that PIV is better than anything else, it's a natural urge for most people that sexual encounters lead to this. It's how you and I both came to be here. And the thought that Hollywood movies don't show other sex is purely because other sex acts are more about sex than 'love making' and intimacy. A blow job, cunninglingus cannot have long loving looks.

Jellybeans, no-one on this thread has said they enjoy PIV sex without orgasms - I mentioned an aspect of it being the top-to-toe closeness to my partner, but I also find I can only orgasm during PIV sex, which is probably the main reason it's my favourite sexual activity. Did someone upthread mention CAT?

I'm aware I'm in the minority judging by female-centred media which seems to suggest most women find it easier to orgasm via other sexual activity. In this case then of course either improve PIV technique and position or use other tactics. Women faking orgasm makes me

As I accept that PIV sex makes a man feel powerful (and that this is ok and normal) then a consequence of this is that I suppose he may feel a bit of a failure if he cannot stimulate his partner enough with his penis. Can't see an easy answer to that really but I think and hope most modern men in happy relationships are willing to put their partner's sexual satisfaction before his own pride.

my posts are not deranged at all.
ive already said that im looking at it from a diffrent angle...which is..
we live in a patriarchic society where men are favoured more than women[mostly].
in this we are told that piv is better than anything else.
[in stories/films ect ect ect lovemaking always end up with piv eg]
this is the be all and end all.
women internilise this..[and so do men]........so if they dont really like piv they are too scared to say [sometimes]in case they are then told"there is something wrong with you"or "youre not as good as the next woman"ect[sometimes]
so with this in mind piv can be power/control.
i actually cant see why this doesnt make any sense.

sparky

jellybeans I think you are reading what you want to read.

Your earlier point "I was saying for the people who said they didnt want as much piv but their men didnt want to do oral." made me raise an eyebrow as I hadn't seen anyone on the thread say that, and wondered who you were talking to, but I didn;t say anything as it seemed a bit petty.

But now "I think often you see on these types of discussions women saying orgasms arent that important, I want to see his pleasure, I just want the experience of being clsoe to him I dont care about orgasms/being satisfied etc." only one person said anything approaching that and they were disagreed with.

So I' not sure who you're addressing with your comments, you seem to be saying what you want to say irrespective of whether it actually relates to the thread or not.

I can read, but her comments are mid thougjt, mid sentence type comments and as I'm not in her mind I don't what she means.

jfam posie is right that makes absolutely no sense and sounds a bit deranged.

Penetration could cause me to orgasm until I faint from exhaustion, and I still don't think it would be adequate compensation for the consequences of accidental conception.

I think often you see on these types of discussions women saying orgasms arent that important, I want to see his pleasure, I just want the experience of being clsoe to him I dont care about orgasms/being satisfied etc. I think that is a symptom of the media focus on men because Im sure most women would take the orgasm rather than not! You wouldnt get any men saying these statements and regularly going without orgasms and there is no chance in hell I would either.

Some girls want more than this from a young age and are able to speak up from their teens whereas some take years and I think that is where the sex gets better when your older thing comes from as some women take a long time to speak up they could of done it years early if they had spoke up. I think in some ways it is cultural. There are many ways to assure orgasm with piv with clitoral stimulation as well such as toys, play etc so focus shouldnt all be on unequal pleasure. It gets me frustrated when I see this type of debate becuase I dont like the idea of women getting a raw deal

Noddy there is no context.....

Just. Your post makes little sense.

posie[....you said that the women on the thread said.....................]
yes i did.i was thinking about this and then writ my other post.
i explained in my other post what i thought.
i explained why i thought things wasnt equel.

[pheraps women should be more empowered............]
im looking at it from a diffrent angle entirely.
[lets face it lesbian sex is only for men......................]
thats what i was partly talking about.

sparky

I was responding to this bit "Sexuality, aside from the reppressed, is one area where most humans know what they like with or without conditioning."