Does penetration = presumption of power/control?

stripey - cross-posted, but your post of 20.43 doesn't contain logic. Where's teh logic?

Natural is whatever gets you off.

It's not people who are wrong, it's your cockeyed theory.

Honestly I can't beliveve you said that.

Lenin - do please get her over here!

stripey I am aghast at your last post there.

Logically you think gay sex is unnatural?

Your logic is flawed, as it assumes that your feelings about PiV are universal, when this thread has clearly shown that they are not.

As my male mate is fond of saying, If God hated men having sex with men, why did he put prostates so conveniently near our arses?

And you could say, if we women weren't geared towards lesbian sex, why make us so we can have multiple orgasms? Lesbian sex is the only way you can both have multiple orgasms ... wasted on heteros really, if we're doing PIV we have to stop when he comes.

(I think I have tipped over into TMI now, right?! )

LRD - see my post of 20.43 to see my logic, flawed or otherwise.

The other thing is, surely, that most people go for a combo, as it were.

You don't just have one sort of sex when you have sex, you do a variety of things. The entire experience is sex. No matter what particular combination of things it involves IYSWIM.

at Lenin.

stripey - explain the logic?

Lenin - I'm sorry.

Maybe it is ignorant. I'm quite a scientific but liberal person so I don't want to think that gay sex is anything other than natural, but my thinking about PIV sex has led me to this logical conclusion

I know sardine but I'm not telling!

Lenin - the thing is, I would have thought that you're the generic kind when it comes to sex acts as opp. to orientation. Most women seem to prefer oral or manual, not PIV (forgive me if I'm wrong and you don't do oral/manual, I'm extrapolating from my lesbian mates! ). It's people like me who're the minority.

plentyof pubgardens interesting x-post

does anyone on the thread know what sex is any more?

What DH and I decided last night was that sex should be redefined as any act between two or more people, that results in orgasm for at least one of them.

His other idea was to reclassify PiV sex as "PiV sex" so you would have oral sex, anal sex, PiV sex. So sex wasn't shorthand for just PiV any more.

I prefer my idea

So you go to bed with someone, or even a whole load of people, and you do some stuff and you come. That's sex, isn't it? You go to bed with someone and you make them come. That is sex!

Some of the best sex I've ever had has been when neither me or DP had an orgasm. It was quite obvious early on that neither of us were going to get there and once those goalposts were removed, it opened the way for all sorts of wild, fun experimentation. Some of the worst sex I've ever had is when some bloke has been determined to 'make' me come.

While I'd generally prefer to have an orgasm, I'm wondering if the problem is not so much the lack of focus on women's orgasms as the complete focus on men's orgasms. I know they go on about blue balls but oddly, DP has never suffered.

you have just demonstrated what i was trying to say earlier on stripey.

sparky

Crikey.

I'm really shocked by that. (Not you, Lenin, by Stripey).

I love PIV but I am well aware I am in the minority of women for whom it is one of the easiest ways to achieve orgasm. Most women have to work at it. I don't for one minute believe gay men and women have less intimate sex!

Absolutely there are things that are more intimate than PiV for me.

There are things that I wouldn't do with a man until I really knew him and trusted him, PiV would be something I'd do much earlier on.

TBH I'm surprised that others don't feel that way as well! Just shows there is a whole variety out there.

I genuinely don't feel the way you do about PiV stripey, that's just how it is. I'm sorry you haven't found many people to explore your ideas with but I guess you've learnt that how you feel isn't by any means universal!

I'm genuinely surprised and educated by this thread! PIV is the most intimate form of sex for me, I assumed it was for the majority of hetero people. It seems not to be so on this thread.

I would never, ever express this irl and perhaps I shouldn't here - but in the interest of a full and frank anonymous discussion, I do feel that gay men and women miss out on the most natural, fundamental lovemaking activity possible. I'm not at all religious, I just see it as the exact activity our sex drives lead us towards, and that individual negative experiences shape possibly negative feelings toward it - whether distaste or pressure generated by media or porn, or thoughtless / unskilled partners, also influenced by media or porn.

I'm sorry if people find this offensive, I'm sure I'm in the minority on here to think that and I've only just realised I think that through this thread.

grinning at LRd there BTW!

Your post got a solemn nod of agreement Plenty of pubgardens