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Original poster

Heteromonogamy is really just another way to waste women's time, isn't it?

281 replies

solidgoldbrass · 08/08/2011 00:13

All those books, articles, courses on how to Find The One, Make Him Commit, Keep It Exciting - keeping women occupied with the Perfect Relationship means they don't have time to do anything interesting with their lives.

OP posts:
TheFrozenMBJ · 08/08/2011 08:52

Sexuality is a real thing, though I will agree that monogamy is a social concept.

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:51

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TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:50

Is it all monogamy that you want to discourage, or just heterosexual monogamy?

I would offer that your sexuality is not a social concept or phenomenon.

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:50

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swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:49

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TheFrozenMBJ · 08/08/2011 08:45

Yes, yes sAf but being a woman in this society makes it damn likely that you will wear make-up. It does not follow that in order to be a women one must wear make-up.

(although I will concede that there is a sector of society that does see it like that Grin)

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:41

*typing fail

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:41

*homeosexuality is a bad idea.

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:40

So it's society that is the problem, not the concept of heteromonogamy.

Shall we go back in time and say that heterosexuality is a bad idea because you'll be socially ostracised, shouted at in the street, beaten up, possibly put in prison? Er, no, it's not homosexuality that is the problem it's society.

In recent years we've gone some way towards making this society a more pleasant one in which to be homosexual, so why the defeatist attitude re monogamy and heterosexuality?

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:39

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swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:37

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swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:35

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TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:34

I'm saying there's a difference between

X often happens with Y

and

X is Y

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:34

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snowmama · 08/08/2011 08:34

Actually, I don't think it is SAF conflating heterosexual and monogamy with 'shit women put up with in relationships'...it is society, ably supported by the media ( magazines, romantic narratives, the wedding industry')..

The most telling narrative about weddings, being it will be 'the best day in a womans life'...I mean how depressing a conceptis that ?

TheFrozenMBJ · 08/08/2011 08:33

I agree with Trillian here. Society may set up an expectation that women should put p with all the above in a relationship (and many women do) but it does not follow that a heteromonogamous relationship is necessarily one where all these things become the women's responsibility.

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:32

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EdithWeston · 08/08/2011 08:30

In terms of magazines, it's what sells. The mass market reflects demand. It's about making money, not pursuing a political agenda.

I think we're being generous about lads mags. With the possible exception of Men's Health, they are about sex and nudity. Actually, plenty of ones aimed at females are pretty much about sex too.

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:28

So yes, these magazines may be training women to waste their time, but it's not heterosexuality or monogamy that's the problem, it's the expectation that men and women are interested in different things and differently entitled to pursue outside interests.

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 08:26

SAF you seem to be conflating heteromonogamy with "the load of shit that women often put up with in a relationship".

AFAIK being responsible for remembering birthdays is not a necessary part of being in a monogamous heterosexual relationship.

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:25

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Hagocrat · 08/08/2011 08:24

Couldn't agree more.

swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:24

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swallowedAfly · 08/08/2011 08:22

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EdithWeston · 08/08/2011 08:10

I agree with fork

The problem is with the over-sentimentalisation of a romantic view of a "perfect" couple.