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Original poster

Separatist Feminism - Thread Two

158 replies

LRDTheFeministDragon · 02/08/2011 00:07

A second thread to discuss separatist feminism.

If you clicked on this thread and want to know more, there's a wiki link for the basics here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separatist_feminism

On the previous thread there is more discussion, including links to some articles about existing separatist communities, and some personal experiences from MNers who live in a separatist or partially separatist environment. If you're interested in more discussion of separatism, what it might mean for feminists, and what women's spaces can do for us, please come back and join me so this OP doesn't sit unanswered like a lemon! Grin

Link to thread no. 1 (and kudos to the lovely VictorGollancz who started it all off) here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1259519-Separatist-Feminism

OP posts:
snowmama · 04/08/2011 16:52

Sorry Cat, xposted, but exactly....

snowmama · 04/08/2011 16:50

Precisely, but I am not talking only about my marriage, I am talking about all my monogomous relationships.

Catitainahatita · 04/08/2011 16:47

Oh yes I understand completely now [penny drops]; this is how my mum managed to be a ft teacher while I was growing up: friends who were also neighbours and mothers helping each other out plus helpful grandmothers also on hand.
In my current isolation I forget that the possiblity of mutualism exists. Here if I need childcare and my P is unavailable I have to pay someone. This means -apart from work stuff- I don't go out much and certainly never with DP.

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:41

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snowmama · 04/08/2011 16:36

Completely, and it now stuns me just how much of my energy was used previously for so many years sustaining the couple unit....whereas now my energy, skills are shared with more people (in my case mainly women), and I as a woman receive so much more support.

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:32

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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:31

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snowmama · 04/08/2011 16:25

That is exactly it SAF, and precisely that exchange of services between women, is the single most important factor that makes my current life possible.

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:20

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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:18

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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:12

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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 16:11

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Catitainahatita · 04/08/2011 16:02

I think I get it your argument now SaF, I was being a bit thick: I'm assuming you can't mix work and childcare in any meaningful way apart from strict separation that involves parents having to make the choices I am describing.

Yes I see that it would be good. Here in Mexico it is quite common for children to be in offices/shops in the afternoons while their (mainly) mothers work. Schools shut at 1 and office/shop hours can be until 8pm. It works fine in this context, (in fact my SIL does this in her job) but I'm not sure all jobs can be made childcare compatible iyswim? (All jobs can have creches/nursery etc yes; but this is still dividing childcare from working).
Or am I still not getting it?

snowmama · 04/08/2011 13:44

I am there on a regular basis (sorry..).

I belong to a couple of all women communities/groups there - so doesn't feel like an all male space to me /or that I have to ignore that I am a woman -though indeed it is a very male space.

aliceliddell · 04/08/2011 11:49

Anybody been through Liverpool St/The City (heart of darkness) at 8.30am on a weekday? There are no kids, no elders. Totally male space even though there are women there, they may as well be men because I was they are forced to behave like men to be accepted in that hell-hole environment

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 11:04

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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 11:03

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HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 04/08/2011 10:32

That is so true kickass. I see it a lot in the sport I am involved with, children being excluded, even though women have now finally been accepted in most areas. The fact that children are excluded, unfortunately, has the knock on effect of then excluding the women (who generally do the childcare).

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 10:13

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snowmama · 04/08/2011 09:55

kickass.. that is such an important point about male only spaces.... and your earlier posts were very interesting as I had no idea how to respond to them ! (as they simulataneously appealed/sounded awful!!).

yes getting a viable model for single mothers would give many more options for all mothers.. (confession) being a full time paid working mum gives me regular nights away from my children ..and anyone else if I so wish.. and I enjoy them. (a bit like divorced dads do)

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 09:32

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StewieGriffinsMom · 04/08/2011 08:47

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Original poster
LRDTheFeministDragon · 04/08/2011 08:30

kickass - I think you've hit on something really important there!

May I say, I am appreciating this discussion so much - I'd not thought when the first thread started that it would particularly make me think about the kind of mother I wanted to be, or why motherhood is important to feminism, and now I feel I've learned a huge amount about that. Thanks all. Smile

OP posts:
kickassangel · 04/08/2011 05:03

started responding to that, then felt it was too ludicrous.

one thing this thread has made me realise, is that male only spaces almost always mean women AND CHILDREN are excluded. but women only places usually include the children - why? (rhetorical question)

PatRiarchy · 04/08/2011 02:34

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