Some men really hate women being single don't they?

"HerBeX, bullshit. Normal men who want uncomplicated sex have it with any woman who is reasonably attractive and willing"

Really? How come I don't know these men? The men I know who think like this are arseholes anyway. The men I class as normal, decent humans don't

Have read this thread and I'm in agreement with the OP and subsequent comments. Felt I had to say something as I was discussing it with DH and his take:

"It's just good manners, isn't it? If someone says they don't want to talk to you, then don't carry on trying to!"

He did agree that he'd noticed some men (referred to by him as 'wankers') feel that two women or any woman on her own are something of a challenge to be chatted up. He has no idea why some men are this way - I mentioned 'The Rules' to him and he said 'what moron wrote that?'

Oddly enough, the reason we were discussing it was that we were at a party at the weekend where one girl got steamingly drunk and was following a bloke round all night trying to chat to/snog him... he was doing the polite evasive thing and then took to running away/hiding from her... we all felt really sorry for him (drunken female would not be told that she was being OTT and making him uncomfortable). Lots of people there found it quite funny that this tiny size 6 girl was harrassing this tall, well-built bloke, but we found it very uncomfortable to witness. (Oh God. Please don't let me have handed Wamster any ammunition...)

Re. the Bridesmaids thing, that is so true! I joined a drama group 4 years ago and already vaguely knew one of the existing members from another society. He's a good 20 years older than me, very 'out', camp gay guy, but because DH doesn't come to the social events with me (because he knows we'll all be banging on about showtalk), people thought we were a couple! I found this out because someone referred to him to my face as my husband and was really shocked when I pointed out that erm, no, we were not a couple (even though they KNEW he was gay!) I then found out that half the company thought we were an item....

No, normal sensible men I said. They understand that if they get involved with someone who plays games right from the start, they may well find themselves entangled in some sort of shit - so they walk on to the next available, uncomplicated prospect.

Game players only attract other game players.

Women like your silly friends can only behave the way they do, because they meet stupid men.

I am trying to take the discussion further, I am trying to offer an explanation as to why these men are persistent and what can be done about it.

Perhaps part of the solution is that EVERYBODY -men and women- become honest with their dealings with one another? Obvously this is a ridiculous statement of mine and should be brushed off.

I agree with you there swallowedAfly. It's very hard to agree that a woman does not 'get' this stuff.

it's all so true. Who has not been hassled in a bar by some pushy man who won't take no for an answer?! and who does not also know that this doesn't happen if there is even ONE man in the group! It's not a cliché for NO REASON wamster.

I don't know, there's a healthy dose of misandry too. Would any man really act as if the male species are so narrow minded as to only think with their dicks? Could wampster be neither?

"You won't solve any problems if you just wish to say things like, 'My friends don't do that... '. Some women do!"

according to you...

none of my friends or acquaintances would do this - but then i don't hang around with prats of either gender through choice. clearly your empathy for the fuckwit men being discussed is more understandable if most of the people you know act like wankers. now we have a perfectly plausible explanation for your behaviour on this thread i wonder what we can do to solve the problem?

HerBeX, bullshit. Normal men who want uncomplicated sex have it with any woman who is reasonably attractive and willing.

swallowedafly , you are unable to untie your dislike of me from my -at least worthy of some discussion- idea that men behave in a persistent manner with women because some women pretend not to be interested in them and make them wait.

Seriously, my explanation as to why men may behave the way they do has fck all to do with whether or not I actually agree* with male entitlement.

You throw all these buzzwords about, but I don't really think you think about anything much.

You've just contradicted yourself there Wamster.

Normal sensible men who want no strings sex, know they're not going to get that from game-players.

You want uncomplicated sex, you choose someone honest.

saf Of course, wamster is right, women are known for saying no when they mean yes! Silly of us to think otherwise, and it's not like the assumption that women mean yes when they say no could possibly lead to any problems..

Nice healthy dose of misandry there, wampster

Again. Not all men like to have sex with arseholes (aka no strings attatched), so stop generalising on the basis of a minority

I love how we can give all the examples of awful situations were men have felt like they've got some kind of right to demand a woman's attention, or where they've felt they are fine to follow and scare women, and the response from Wamster? Blame women.

Oh, of course.

Empusa, Oh yes men with dignity and commonsense, do like to have sex with women who are arseholes. It's called no-strings attached sex and men seem awfully fond of that (as do some women).

Oh, jeez, I am only trying to give you an EXPLANATION as to why some men are persistent, that is all. Trying to come up with some ideas as to why they behave they do. Whether their behaviour is right and wrong is a separate issue, I'm just trying to offer a few explanations.

Yet, no, somebody trying to say, 'Well I think the reason they may behave like this is because of ...' gets met with derision.

You don't like persistent men, fine, I think it is safe to say that there is disagreement between me and others about this, but, for goodness sake, you won't even entertain a perfectly plausible explanation for the behaviour of these men.

What to do if you won't even discuss why they do what they do? You won't solve any problems if you just wish to say things like, 'My friends don't do that... '. Some women do!

"Normal men with dignity and commonsense, don't want to fraternise with game playing arseholes anyway."

Definitely.

Whereas I agree, shouldn't you be preaching that to your friends who are playing the game?

And in the meantime, I'll stick to telling DS, DNephew and my male friends that if a woman says no, that's the answer they should accept. Not that they should pester to get the answer they want.

Or what Thistledew said

Don'tCallMePeanut, well that is your mum and very sensible she seems, but not all mothers are as sensible as yours.

As a separate issue, there does seem to be a denial here about how people actually operate- people do repeat actions that they were successful with once and, if a man eventually gets off with a woman who has played the 'I'm not interested' game, he will think that he may need to be persistent again only this time he picks somebody who REALLY is not interested and makes a pain in the arse of himself.

Just because I think it is shit, doesn't mean to say this is not how people operate, and women have to stop playing the 'I'm not interested' game if they really are interested. They should just accept the drink from the start.