Some men really hate women being single don't they?

Insults are never acceptable. I don't think anybody here-myself included- has ever said that they are.

"I've been bothered by people trying it on. I'm polite, mention a bf, and they generally go away. Sometimes they insult you as they leave. Fucking annoying! But part of life when going to social areas where men will be approaching women, and vice-versa."

Few points

• would they go away if you didn't mention a bf? And why is that the only valid reason for them to leave? Rather than you just not being interested.
• Insulting you for not being interested, should that just be accepted?
• We are not necessarily talking about social areas where men will be approaching women. What about those of us who've experienced it while on buses or at work?

Severin, if you accept men insulting you as you've turned them away as part of life, then I'm genuinely concerned.

And can you genuinely not see the points we are trying to make?

Can someone bring dittany back? Please?

And I am telling you that my explanation as to why men behave they do could also be seen as the reason why they persistently chat women up.

This is not to excuse their behaviour nor is it to accept their behaviour, just to tell you why I think they do it.

You would not tell somebody who says, ' I think serial killers kill because of their childhood', was excusing serial killing, so why am I defending men by just offering an explanation for their behaviour?

This is stupid. I've struggled through this thread, and Wamster has made reasonable points and has had them twisted into being a rape apologist! Or must be a man! And now the extremely offensive suggestion that she should consider a career in defending rapists. All because she said that if a man is persistent, and maybe takes a few minutes to leave after he is told the woman/women is not interested, to save a little face, but that he is not abusive or threatening, that is irritating but part of life when you go to a public place. If he won't go away after 5 minutes, tell the management or security, it'll work.

I KNOW that these men can be very irritating, but using some crap like 'Schroedinger's Rapist' etc to justify thinking he might be a rapist is nonsense. He might be a murderer or a psycho, but if all he's doing is approaching, chatting and taking a few minutes to have a dignified exit, it's annoying but not a potential rape situation.

I've been bothered by people trying it on. I'm polite, mention a bf, and they generally go away. Sometimes they insult you as they leave. Fucking annoying! But part of life when going to social areas where men will be approaching women, and vice-versa.

HerBex, I would answer your question at 14.20 and it is probably me that cannot understand it and not your fault (no sarcasm meant), but there is too many negatives in the question, can you please rephrase it?

I'm not twisting your words. I am pointing out how they could be taken.

You;re the one not prepared to think if you cannot see my point.

Don'tCallMePeanut, yet again you are twisting my words.

I expect this, though, I didn't honestly think that I wouldn't hear all the cliches and buzzwords.

Very few people are prepared to actually think on this thread, really.

So much of what you say wamster, could EASILY be twisted into rape apologetics.

"I asked her if she wanted sex. She said no. OBVIOUSLY she meant yes..."

How come everyone gets pestered so much?! I go to bars once a week usually just with 1 or 2 best GFs.
We usually have guys chat to us but sadly they tend to be far too old OR daft student lads & generally they're just being friendly & don't offer drinks. They don't 'try it on' either.
Most of the time i think that tone of voice & body language is key to showing you're happy to chat but not interested sexually.
So now we've got some male acquaintances at the good bars - barmen & regulars - which is nice.
I'm lucky because in my job i have to be assertive so if anyone did bother me i can deal with it straight away.

My sister complains that she & her GFs OTOH get pestered even when they're with men - although they are stunning & wear tiny dresses.

But, no offence, i wouldn't mind being pestered. Just a tiny bit.

Sorry, Wamster, that's what I've been thinking about your attitude all along. a

HerBeX, men being very stupid, now there's a novelty...

It's just words Wamster. It's not like she assualted you.

swallowedafly, that is really deeply insulting of you and, if I were the sort of person who reported posts, I would report that. You have gone below the belt and you know it, I have NEVER said here that actual rape or assault of women is EVER acceptable.

You want to live in a politically correct world (don't we all) where people behave perfectly all the time, but, please, look around you and get out of your bubble, women's literature and magazines e.g. the nauseating book 'The Rules' tells women that they should play it cool and appear disinterested.
We get it all the time.

Why do you think men don't do this to women who are out with men who don't look like their partners Wamster?

No, if they're after a one night stand, what matters is that they can be fairly sure that that's all they'll get - and with a game player, that's less likely.

So they drive on.

Unless they're very very stupid.

"Perhaps part of the solution is that EVERYBODY -men and women- become honest with their dealings with one another?"

You know, I'd be really impressed with this.

If it hadn't been said right at the beginning of the thread.

But well done for catching up.

They don't give a shit how uncomplicated/complicated a woman is- they are only after a one-night stand, all that matters is that she is willing and reasonably attractive.

You're not trying to take the discussion further. You still haven't answered my question about why men don't do this to women who are not on their own but with men who don't look like their partners.