Some men really hate women being single don't they?

Band, which comes back to the point that men are mainly interested in women who are good looking. Men go for looks and their biggest compliment is that you are beautiful even before they have taken time to speak to you. We here it all the time, in books, on TV etc.

@missingfriendsandsad, that chat up line would make me spit feathers. The man's understanding is that the only factor deciding whether or not a woman might be with somebody or not with somebody is how good looking she is. She is totally passive, waiting to be picked. Factors such as how independent she is, how much fun she is, whether she's prepared to wait (for a long time!) for somebody she's compatable with............. none of that even crossed the mind, even fleetingly of the man who thinks, 'but you're not bad lookin' how can you be single?".

God, durrrrrrrrrr. I wouldn't feel very bad at all being 'rude' to a man who made it clear that that is his understand of why women are single. ie, nobody has chosen them.

ps, not a problem for me now though as nobody has triedto chat me up in at least five years.

I think it is fine for a man to try to chat you up but it is the ones who just will not take no for an answer that are annoying. I end up having to be incredibly rude to someone and then I feel bad for the rest of the evening. Which is odd as they were the ones being rude in the first place because of their innability to not listen and go away.

SGB made a very good point in her OP!!

The only legitimate reason a woman can provide to turn down a man is to have another man.

I get it anyway.

Long before I was ever aware that I was a feminist, I used to hate when my friends would make up a boyfriend to get rid of some guy. I was always the rude one who would come right out and say 'no, sorry, I'd prefer to stay where I am thank you/chat to my school friends/talk to my sister who I haven't seen for a year'. this is perceived to be very rude !!

Some people seem to be missing the point. The point is not whether or not a man will back off if you say you have a boyfriend/husband, but that they will not back off unless you say you have. Just saying you are not interested in getting to know/ dancing with/ having him stick his tongue down your throat is not enough to get him to leave you alone.

wamster and organicgardener I didn't read the OP as that.

I read it as there are too many men out there who will not take no for an answer, unless the OP says they are in a relationship. Just saying "no" isn't enough for some blokes.

Chatting someone up = fair enough
Refusing to stop when asked to = not good
Only stopping when told of a current partner = irritating

And there are men who think even that isn't a good enough reason to leave someone alone.

I have found this with many men, not all, but they seem to believe that if a woman talks to them, she automatically fancies them.

Many a time I have tried to explain to clueless male buddies that a woman will talk to a man for a myriad of reasons; rarely it will be because she fancies them. Lots of the time it will be - she's bored, you're next to her, she's feeling friendly (note - friendly is not the same as wanting to shag someone), she feels like chatting. I've had this problem with a couple of guys where I've spoken to them for one of the reasons above, and they get it into their pea sized brains that this means I fancy them. No. It. Doesn't.

I could not agree more with you, organicgardener, I think it's just an excuse for a bit of vanity as in the op gets chatted up all the time and of how terrible it is to be so attractive (bless) and has been placed under the heading of feminism in the hope that the people here will all join in and slag men off.
The truth is that if a man posted this, everybody would now be calling him an arrogant so-and-so and saying things like 'how the hell are women supposed to respond when you say you have a girlfriend? Carry on chatting you up?'.

This thread is remarkable in as much as it has more than 2 posts on it.

Man chats to Woman and gets put down.

Solution?

Men shouldn't chat Women up and they should KNOW that if the said Woman wants to speak to him SHE will make the first move.

Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

It's not that he is thinking, 'she belongs to another man, but, rather, 'Oh well, she has already picked a man so I'm superfluous to requirements'.
Well, that is what I as a female think when a man I like tells me he has a girlfriend.

I think it is a bit naive to want to go to a nightclub and expect not to be chatted up. That's what those places are for. Be honest, they are to meet other people for possible sexual encounters or if not that, simply for a bit of flirtation . I say this not as a prude- I've used such places for those very reasons myself- but because if I want a chat with a friend, we'll go to a cafe or a pub.
Anyway, it goes without saying that not every bloke that chats to a woman wants to bed her, some could just be friendly or making conversation, but I agree that the quickest way of getting rid of male attention is to say 'my boyfriend' or 'my husband'.
It's nothing to do ownership or nonsense like that; just that they think, 'she's already got a bloke. I'm wasting my time'. Which is pretty reasonable, don't you think?

I have to say, [thick emoticon] I don't get the link between the thread title and the OP.

I get what you're saying in the OP and agree that this is very frustrating, but how does this link to men hating women being single...?

Some men are complete and utter bastards who will say anything and do anything to get laid. The problem is, of course, that tenacity very often pays off whilst it is certainly true is that standing around being nice will get you, precisely, nowhere.

When bastards stop being the ones to leave the club with the girl, then behaviour might change a bit.

Meanwhile, neither bastards nor nice guys probably consider for a second that women have to belong to a man. They are far more likely to realise that a single woman is more likely to give him her phone number than one in a relationship... or is that too much like common sense?

I have a thing about hands SGB.

My friend has been pursued for YEARS, literally since she was 18 and she's now 33 by the brother of a good uni friend.

My friend is a lesbian -she has even married and divorced a woman, and still this man won't accept that she won't one day want to shag him

Having managed to dredge up some memories from years and years ago I remember automatically using the boyfriend line. Lying would make me feel a slightly bad but thinking about it now, SGB, I'd like to think it was displaced anger at the fact you had to do that to get the message across. Or something like that.

< files reality's pithy comment away for future reference >

I find it disturbing that tehy often seem quite sane and pleasant up til then. But my 'wanker' radar isn't too great.

I've found the opposite to what you describe SGB. Certain men will chat you up, you politely say 'oh, sorry, I am married', and that's when they show their true colours as sleazy wankers by saying 'ooh, that doesn't matter'. Erm, it does to me, you prick!

also had one guy ask me why i didn't have kids yet - was dh firing blanks?
seriously, that was supposed to entice me?

I think it's the fcat that you don't need a man that they find both threatening and appealing really.