How 'feminist' are you on a sliding scale?

I think I'm a pretty radical feminist - I feel very deeply about it and have very strong views, but I shave my legs, wear a bra etc I don't look like an "old-school" feminist, but I sound like one! But my point on that has always been, that I will be how I like, and I won't be bullied by a woman who doesn't like me wearing a skirt, anymore than a man who'd rather I did wear a skirt!

And by the way, the war is so very far from being over...

Spider I thought it wasn't; but I was trying to explain why I answered you as I did. I really wanted to make it clear that I agree that threads do indeed become heated in this section, and yes that can be off-putting at first glance.

However, some of the heat often comes from posters (and again, I am not talking about you) who seem to contribute with a clear agenda of "winding up" the feminists. These are often trolls, but not always. An opening gambit which says, "I don't post here because it's all too confrontational" for example -which while can be very sincere (as in your case)- can often be (mis)interpretated as the start to such a form of intervention.

I hope I have explained myself. I certainly am not looking to offend/annoy you. My personal stance on feminism as I have stated is quite uncompromising in what it wants to achieve. However, I think that all feminist voices and opinions are very welcome. As a fellow feminist I will support you unconditionally, even if I don't always agree with you 100%.

Plus, I do like to discuss things and argue. I find it simulating and extremely educational. It's why I have to ration myself on MN and the feminist boards in particular because otherwise I'd be here all day.

I agree with Bumper re. the courtesy in public thing. I think it just boils down to politeness that should be practised by both sexes. I like holding doors for people and letting other cars out first (unless on the school run of course!) cos it gives me this fuzzy feeling of community. Silly I know.

But sometimes I open doors for guys they go "no you first" and I end up going first in order to divert a potential mini standoff. I think it's culturally ingrained in some men that they must hold doors for women. So yes it is all a bit of a mind mess, everything is imbued with some double meaning.... must stop thinking!

I also agree with everything Jenny60 said :)

I think the difficulty is being women, everything is potentially a feminist issue even when it isn't. E.g. taking dh's name, I did but mainly because his was better than mine. I didn't have a strong attachment to my dad or his name, plus my dad was adopted so not even passing down some family legacy. And in actual fact my dh changed his own surname from his dad's to his mum's maiden name as he preferred it.

The idea of not majorly disagreeing with your dh in public is a courtesy issue not a feminist, as is holding doors open, giving up seats etc. Sometimes it's a question of respect, for everyone. But as women we are cursed with having to think about the double meaning of everything.

I'm a Feminist with a capital F but I live within current social and political structures because I have to, while fighting bits of it when I have the will/energy. In other words, I choose my battles. I have a permanent sense of rage, however, because I really think that once you see how patriarchal the world is there's no turning back. It's everywhere.

That sounded like veiled criticism and it wasn't; I am not especially consistent myself

Fair point, Peanut; I guess it's not really human nature to be 100% consistent.

I don't think it's so much of a sliding scale, more of a case of different hues of feminism. One day, I'm a rad fem, the next, marxist fem, sometimes nouveau feminist (as bumperliscious described)... different days call for different levels of feminism. Maybe that's me being indecisive...

Could it Cat?

That certainly wasn't my intention.

& yes SinicalSal many roads do lead to Rome, you are quite right.

Many of them also lead to infighting whilst the men march on ahead.

Again I'm not talking about this thread, but many of the feminist threads do descend into a brawl which is why I'm always reticent to post.

I'm really not sure. What one person could see as radical feminism another could see as more mainsteam.
For me I have been bought up to see both parents working as normal and having the mother being the main earner as not unusual. As far as the choises I made at school and how I was viewed though things are only starting to make sense when I view them with a feminists perspective. I think I was more radical in my youth in that at school I made a conscious choose not to be attractive to boys (not shave legs, wear a long skirt or make up) and not speak to them any differently than I would to anyone.
I think I relaxed a bit when at university but even then found certain attitudes reprensible especally when looking in from an LGBT perspective. Attitudes like "it's important to let men take charge because they will do things like hold the door for you and say how pretty you are" I think being a mother has made ms more radical as I will endeavour to raise my DSs with a feminist upbringing.

I think Spider, you might also recognise that one reason some of us get immediately defensive on threads is that some posters start off with a comment that appears designed to attack the feninist section.
I am not arguing that this was your intention at all. I just wish to point out that your post could be interpreted in this way and may account for the reaction.
I have said it on more than one thread: I support all feminists who post here, even if I might have differences of opinion or some heated arguments.

But of course spiderslegs. Everyone has a different perspective. But agian, many roads lead to Rome.

I always have been a feminist, by instinct, I suppose. At school refused to learn sewing (girls had to age 8, boys rudimentary woodwork) unless lessons were not segregated, even though didn't come from a feminist family. that sort of thing.

Later on got all ladette as Bumperlicious explains.

Since having a daughter, getting married, made redundant so became SAHM, brought feminism to the fore again. It's objectificaion and pornification that concern me most, at the moment.

My point being, although this is a very nice thread, you all have different & sometimes divergent ideas of what feminism entails.

& therein lies the rub.

Aaarrrgghhhh - you see.

I didn't mean this thread. I meant the feminism topic generally, was refering to another thread here

This thread is (or was) a very nice thread.

Not sure that I understand a sliding scale, but I am comfortable with calling myself a feminist and I have mostly stopped the self-destructive habit of questioning the legitimacy of my own feminism. I have become a bit more radical in recent years, I guess. Motherhood has made me focus on feminism again.

I've always, since early teen years anyway, identified as a feminist but in fact, for several years in my mid/late twenties I behaved in ways that were really not very feminist-aware at all. It wasn't that I thought we had won; I never actually thought about it enough to conclude whether that was the case. Just had a long stage where I was too busy being a navel-gazing twentysomething with fairly hefty amounts of belated growing up to do, and during that stage I didn't find the time or the inclination to pay attention to how things were shifting for feminists, or to think about feminism beyond the knee-jerk "of course I am a feminist, I believe in equality" statement, or to care much about politics, or anything really.

But hey ho. It wasn't a great time, but I am done beating myself up about it and busy enjoying being a fully engaged member of society again.

im not a feminist.

i believe in equality for hamsters and bananas

who is accusing others of letting the side down???
Many roads lead to Rome, etc etc

Nobody has said anyone is letting the side down, spider. We are sharing our personal views on what makes us feminists.
That's all. I don't think anyone expects everyone else to agree.

I find I am fairly contradictory in my beliefs. In my work place I have become ever more feminist. It grates on me that other people feel that I am over-reacting and reading too much into things and should just let it go. Now that I have a ds I can see the gender roles that are re-inforced perpetually by society - not just feminine roles, but masculine ones too.

But I follow a fairly traditional set up in the home - wouldn't have children if I wasn't married; wouldn't seriously disagree with my dh in public (nor would he with me) and many of my priniciples/beliefs are dictated by my religion, more so than my belief in feminism; I am anti-abortion for instance (I have however moved away from saying pro-life).

Spiderslegs who has said or implied anyone else is letting the side down?

this feels to me like a very inclusive thread in which multifarious feminisms are being shared. People are obviously coming from very different places but I haven't seen any judging, or any deploring of other people's choices.

How exactly are we meant to 'liberate' ourselves in that line of argument?

Reject capitalism?

I think alternative communities have already been explored.

LOL at HerBex and the mirror. Also I am coming to terms with the fact that I agree with her description of capitalism and patriarchy but simultaneously reject the idea that this can be changed via revolution. It is making me quite dizzy.