My 9y old DD is visiting a mosque with the school & has been told to cover her head.

wrongdecade
A muslim may be able to bring some factual info to the discussion, but the idea that a muslim will bring some nugget of insight just by virtue of being a muslim is pure identity politics at play. I can spot a pile of sexism for myself and I don't need anybody of any religious persuasion to explain or justify it, thanks all the same.

When women / girls are treated differently to men / boys for no other reason than fear or superstition, that's what we call sexism.

We live in an area of so little cultural diversity that DD's school only managed to visit a C of E church and a methodist chapel. We have no mosques, synagogues or Sikh/Hindu temples in our area at all. She has studied Hinduism and Buddism at school but I think it is a shame that she has never had the opportunity to learn about other cultures and religions other than from books.

Why would they need to get the hang of it?

I took my class (7-9 year olds) to visit a mosque a few years ago and we were told by the mosque that both boys and girls would need to have their heads covered. A hat was fine though, it didn't need to be a head scarf. One of the girls did ask the man showing us round why they had to cover their heads. Unfortunately I can't remember his reply . I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's not as if your dd is being asked to becme a muslim!

about young girls wearing headscarf,they are not required to until they reach puberty but often little girls ask to wear it as they like to imitate the mother,as well many parents encourage children from about 7 to start to practice the religion,so they get the hang of it by the time they reach puberty

Of course the fact that only girls have been asked to cover their hair is sexist
But - would I for that reason not let my fictious daughter go on the trip? No.

And it does sound as if it is quite likely that the school is making ill-informed assumptions anyway

I've just looked it up on the Islamic Awareness & Education Project website, which organises school visits to mosques. The dress code for visitors is the same for boys and girls. There is no requirement to wear a headscarf.

I agree with MillyR and Colditz. One can be respectful of different religions and I would have an issue not with headcovering if ALL the children were required to do it. I do have a problem with the principle that exposed boys' hair is acceptable, but exposed girls' hair is...what?

What exactly is the religious or cultural explanation for why ONLY girls?

I am still wondering if the school has it wrong. No mosque i know asks for girls, whether before or afterr puberty to wear a scarf, who are just visiting to learn. Like i said, my 19 yo has come to the mosque with me when ive gone to pray and not an eye row has been raised. She isnt muslim. And tnese are strange mosques to me.

Millyr: lots of sense and clarity there.

It's really the school's fault - but I have to say, the same problem would arise with a teenage visit to the Mosque and there wouldn't then be any option about head covering. It would be a very, very clear representation of how differently the sexes are seen.

I don't even think you have to see yourself as a very pro-active feminist to have a problem with this.

Britain has moved on a great deal and now has an impressive track record on tolerance and respect. Just look at this school's over-reaction for example. I really don't think any prejudice is involved, or guilt is due, over finding this questionable.

V interesting opinions and experiences on this thread.

On here as in RL I just cannot quite follow how het up some people can get about this and other issues.

As others have said, the OP's choices are quite simple: allow her daughter on the trip accepting that she will be asked to cover her head (assuming that that is in fact a 'rule' enforced by this particular mosque and not the school making assumptions) and use this as a discussion point. Or not send her.

I do agree that various forms of dress enforced on females around the world are oppressive and sexist and a tool to enforce male control and superiority.
And I'd also concur that wearing a headscarf in these circumstances is not just a piece of cloth but has meaning.

I just fail to see how agreeing to wear a headscarf on this one occasion, is an endorsement of sexist practices as a whole?
When a 9 year old girl with her school class on a no doubt interesting trip does it??

A degree of pragmatism over feminist theory would be constructive IMO.

I visited a Silkh temple with a friend and was asked to remove my shoes and wear a scarf. The men and women pray separately and both sexes wear some head covering. I did wear a scarf but not well enough and it kept slipping off....not conciously...I couldn't help feeling that was because in my heart, I don't agree with covering my hair up...I would feel the same in any religious institution though. Loved the visit, the ladies who give food to anyone who enters were lovely. Got filthy looks outside the temple (head scarf still slipping off) from some younger men though as I am blonde and probably next to a prostitute in their eyes....my friend explained that in certain circles, blondes are considered as such. It was in a very large area which is fairly segrated from the wider community. He said that when he next sees them he would explain that I am the newest meber of his harem.... That doesn't help you at all but I think if the Mosque are showing people around they should explain why a 9 year old girl needs to wear a scarf. You could always ring them/visit and ask if it is right. I got told all sorts at university about what people of certain cultures do or expect others to do and in practice I found that it really depends on the people or sub section of a particular community rather than a sweeping statements about muslims do this or Sikhs do that....

I would estimate that there have been about 100 times my kids have had to do something at school or in some sort of group situation that I have had a problem with, but didn't mention to whoever was in charge, because it just isn't worth constantly getting into conflict with people. Looking at the MN threads, not saying anything to the school seems to be a common response. But most of these things could be avoided if a bit more thought was put in by the person organising things.

Having said that, I am really pleased with the kind of PSHE DS is doing in secondary school. It seems to be mainly primary schools that don't think things through, and I think that is due to the size of primary schools. A smaller number of staff leads to a smaller amount of expertise, and so things aren't always thought through.

And as for "Riven will have an interesting and informed opinion on this". I find that patronising; identification politics par excellence. Can't we all have an interesting and informed opinion on this without being muslim?

Is Riven Muslim? If so itsn ot really patronising that her opinion on Islam will be more informed than someone who isn't its more of a fact.

I took my Beavers group to the local synagogue and the boys were asked to cover their heads....not one of the girls asked why and not one of the parents had a problem with it.

For me, its about respecting anothers religion. If the OPs dd cant do that/doesnt want to do that, then she shouldnt go.

DB, you are making some huge assumptions that the OP is going to behave as if Muslims are different and shouldn't be treated equally. What we factually know and don't have to make assumptions about is that the OP's daughter is being treated differently and unequally because she is female.

I wouldn't send my sons to be shown that little girls have something that must be covered up, that they don't have. I do not agree with the ideology that girls and women are like precious jewelry that must be hidden away safely so that Bad Men don't touch. We are people.

Well I agree particularly with this: 'It can be a short few steps between fear, intolerance and hatred... Exposing even young children to difference won't contaminate them.'

I think that by making a big deal out of this trip, or even not letting her go, it would send a message that mosques and Muslims are something to be avoided, that they are bad or scary or awful people. I very much agree with allhail as well, and this is the approach I hope to take when my DC is older.

I don't believe anybody on this thread would be agreeing with this if the situation were reversed. If a letter came home from school saying that they were going to visit some kind of institution and that only Muslim children or only Christian children or only Atheist children had to dress differently to everybody else, there would not be lots of people on the thread saying, oh it is fine that group X children are being treated differently - we should respect the institution's culture.

It is simply because it is women being treated differently that people think it is okay.

And it has nothing to do with hair tied back in a Science class - that is a health and safety issue. Schools couldn't teach Science fully without this rule. Schools could take children to a mosque without being sexist - they just need to choose a different mosque.

Explain to her that while you, and the majority of people, think men and women ar equal and shoud be able to dress equally, people who run mosques have different ideas.

OP - I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You have no reason to feel threatened by your daughter covering her head to visit a mosque. The act of covering her head will not mean you, your daughter or the school are endorsing the practice. What it does is provide a perfect springboard for discussion in which you get to put your views across; "how interesting, these people believe that women should cover their heads. We don;t believe that, do we? In fact I think X, Y and Z"

Covering her head in order to explore something new and foreign to her is a curiosity; interesting but not important. It's an anthropological thing, like not taking photographs of Maasai warriors in case you steal their soul - you probably don't believe photographs steal souls but you would still respect their wish not to be photographed.

Or you could even look at it as a practical step to get closer to what she is learning about, like tying her hair back in the science lab.

Why do you agree bohemian? Are there school trips where the girls are told they have to wear a bikini and heels? What does these posts about the choices of adult women have to do with an instruction given to the OP's daughter?

KriKri I totally agree