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Original poster

to wonder why I am so bloody UN-feminist??!!

65 replies

NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:17

I cannot wait to give up my high-flying city career to be a SAHM

I changed my name when I got married inc my professional name

I think women should really be at home and look after their children

I think there are lots of jobs women should not/can not do e.g. fireman

I envy "kept" women

I am pro-life

Why should women be paid the same if they have had time off to have children and therefore have less experience???

How??!! Why??!! Where do these (very unpopular) views come from? I had a very working class up-bringing, did well, got a great job. Mum was a SAHM - maybe this is the reason?? Waits on my dad hand and foot.

Oddly, only thing that angers me on this subject is stripping/lapdancing - hugely ANTI all of that.

Someone come and drag me into the 21st century....

OP posts:
MsTeak · 29/06/2011 23:53

well do that then. but keep your beak out of what other women do. Feminism is about real choice for all women, make your choice for you, leave my choices for me. My choice to work, my choice to have an abortion, my choice to do differnet things to you.
Simple as that really.

MrsFlittersnoop · 29/06/2011 23:52

"Why should women be paid the same if they have had time off to have children and therefore have less experience???"

Why shouldn't your contribution as a full time mother be valued as much as a paid worker?

Just suppose you got run over by a bus.

Do you know how much a full day-time nanny costs? and a full time NIGHT nanny? Plus weekends?

Calculate that 24/7.

Then add in full time housekeeper and full time cleaner and full time PA/Administrator. And accounts-clerk/bookeeper.

And sex-worker (if you want to reductio ad absurdam Hmm

£35k+?? Absolute rock-bottom minimum??

Tchootnika · 29/06/2011 23:51

SAHM - nice work if you want it...
So be happy if that's what you want and are doing.
Sure, if you try and impose that as a standard for everyone else, you're rather silly.
I'm not SAHM, didn't have SAHM - us 3 generations are all v. happy, thanks!

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:50

I'm not sure I do GreenEyes. You know what, I kind of feel I want to be looked after by a man.... Hmm

OP posts:
MillyR · 29/06/2011 23:49

You are young. You have got lots of time left to continue building a career after being a SAHM, should you choose to do so.

GreenEyesandHam · 29/06/2011 23:48

Surely being a feminist is to see yourself and women in general as being equal to men in the eyes of society, politics and the law?

Do you not see yourself as such?

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:47

Laurie. Yes they are proud. Very very proud. It's an incredible achievement given my background. I think my mum will be very disappointed.

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Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:46

Ooo am a feminist after all ??!! Grin

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LaurieFairyCake · 29/06/2011 23:45

No wonder your parents aren't as keen if you got 'swept up in the career' - I'm guessing it's what they wanted for you. And that they are very proud of you.

OrdinaryJo · 29/06/2011 23:43

Sorry, gave you the chance to make the choices, Wine

MillyR · 29/06/2011 23:42

Okay,

So you have enjoyed your job but now want to be a SAHM. So based on that you presumably think a range of opportunities should be available to women. That is feminism, surely?

You value women who have caring responsibilities. That is central to feminism.

You don't like objectification of women. That is feminist also.

As for the work thing, feminists want women to be paid and employed in line with our skills, qualifications and experience levels. Currently women as a group, particularly mothers, are not. Feminists are not asking for women to be paid for experience they don't have, simply for the experience we do have.

The pro life thing is a matter of degree. If you don't agree with contraception that is extreme. Not agreeing with late abortion is another matter. Not agreeing with social pressure to abort certain types of babies is another matter again.

A lot about what you're saying depends on whether your beliefs are about what you personally want to do or if you want to impose things like being a SAHM or not being able to have the morning after pill on others.

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:42

Laurie - always wanted to be a SAHM. Just kinda got swept up in the career stuff...

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OrdinaryJo · 29/06/2011 23:42

The thing is, you have choices and you have exercised those choices to do what you think is best for you and your family. I would perhaps make different choices. But they are our choices to make. So, for me, that is feminism in action. No-one chose for you. You chose for yourself. Feminism gave you those choices.

You could maybe be a bit less judgeypants though. And if by pro-life you mean anti-choice then say so. Most feminists aren't pro-death after all.

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:41

Being supported by DH but not parents (strangely!)

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LaurieFairyCake · 29/06/2011 23:41

You're just growing into adulthood and new mummy/wife shit.

I thought all sorts of crazy crap along the way to my age.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/06/2011 23:39

Maybe you just ate something funny Grin

Are you being supported to become a sahm?

All I meant was is that your brain is trying to turn you wanting to stay at home with your son into a big 'thing'. It's not, you've just changed a bit. You don't have to extrapolate all the political stuff just because you've changed your mind about a career because you're in love with your son.

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:37

Well quite "MsTeak"! That's precisely my question....! Why do I feel the need to pronounce it?

It may also surprise you if I said I was aged 25?

ps - ive asked of this thread to be moved

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MsTeak · 29/06/2011 23:35

the problem isn't in the choices you make for yourslef, its why you want opinions on what other women do.
You want to be a SAHm to your kid, good for you. Why feel the need to pronounce on whether I should be though? Hmm

tethersend · 29/06/2011 23:34

Seriously, repost this in feminism.

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:33

Views which clearly are outdated as evidenced by people thinking my post is a joke!!!!!

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Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:32

I see what you mean "tethersend".

It's odd really. I got very very angry with the way I was treated at work when I got pregnant. I get angry when I think about lapdancing etc.

But I think all of the things I said in my op.

Goddamit I'm confused!!!!

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tethersend · 29/06/2011 23:30

But in a way OP, you are espousing a feminist viewpoint in that you are questioning the low status child-rearing has in society. it's just muddled up with other stuff.

You are a feminist. I can feel it in my womb waters. You just don't know it yet Grin

wrongdecade · 29/06/2011 23:29
Biscuit
MissVerinder · 29/06/2011 23:29

What flamegirl said.

Original poster
NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:27

How do you mean Laurie? When you say "making up reasons"?

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