"Are you doing the washing?" and other weekend plans

I'm with trillian... I can't imagine talking to someone about washing... whoever walks past it and has a second sticks it on, it doesn't register to be honest. I guess DP does more than I do, because he has a thing about the bedclothes being washed every single week.. he also prefers to hang it out himself because he likes the way he does it better than the way I do..

when my mum had had an operation at christmas and I was at university loads of people including my grandfather said 'so are you going back early to help her out?'. er, no, I had exams and there were THREE men (my father and two brothers) at home to get stuff done. (obviously i helped out while she was recovering but it was the assumption that it would fall to me that was so irritation)

The day I realised my XH and I had done a pretty good job of raising DS was when DS came to visit DP and me. We were all going out for a meal, DS (aged 14) realised his good shirt had got creased in his bag and got the ironing board out without even asking. Thumbs up all round.

To give her her due my MIL would never dare to say something along those lines to me. Our land lord was horrified when he found out that I was the one who had been painting and stripping the wood in soon to be babies room.

Naturally there is plenty of comments from her I could moan about, but I did find her utter confusion at be still BF instead of switching to cows milk (despite me being a vegan) more amusing than anything. A classic 'does not compute' look on her face.

My DS thinks that washing up, hoovering, tidying and cooking are all boys jobs thanks to my houseproud father and my chore-sharing DH. He has a toy hoover that he proudly pushes around after both of them.

I do housework by proxy. I work and pay someone else to do my cleaning and ironing. I do the washing though as I enjoy it. God knows why. My MiL has described me as a lazy slattern. She can get bent.

We don't have a tumble dryer, so the laundry is a big deal for me. Got to love this weather.

A few women have been that I don't iron DH shirts. He doesn't have time to do much, but ironing his own clothes and making his packed lunch are well within his capabilities.

I do a large proportion of the housework but am a SAHM. I choose to do other stuff like baking and the allotment and stuff. However, I'm careful to make sure that my 2 ds don't grow up thinking that this is because I'm a woman, especially as Dh mostly does housework in the evenings when they are in bed.

My mother thinks that I'm a bad wife and mother because my house isn't spotless and MIL does everything for BIL who is in his 30s and still living at home. However, My 4 year old ds1 can work the washing machine, put his own clothes away, get his uniform out and yesterday asked if I could teach him how to cook dinner . Result!

Trillian - yes, I do think the PILs were in some sort of stand-off.... one which has lasted almost 40 years, which is the length of time they've been married for.

My PIL were rendered momentarily speechless by the revelation that DH has been known to sew on a cub badge. They were genuinely horrified.

Well, I'm trying to get things on the right path for any future DiLs I might have. Before setting off on holiday yesterday, DS2 (18) spent about 2 hours doing all of the ironing for the family and very proud of himself he was too! I remember my poor Mum struggling with all of this in the 50s!

Clarity - do you think it's possible that your PIL were in the middle of an ironing standoff and your DH ruined it?

Maybe MIL was making a point by just not ironing - if 90% of the pile was his stuff then maybe she could happily go for weeks just wearing non-iron clothes :)

Its the other way round with me my mum and dad are constantly amazed that we do our own washing and my husband irons. They have never used a washing machine and I only know of 1 time my mum has used an iron.

They wouldnt ever expect me to do it, and my mum was like wow look at you ironing 'babydoras' clothes last wednesday when she came round. I only ironed 2 tops that are very small and you cant really go wrong on!

calirty - that's just of your FIL!
(and no, we weren't wondering why you weren't doing someone else's laundry )

Do these people belong to a generation where doing the washing is a really big deal?

My FIL is the laziest, most selfish pig around. He prides himself in doing whatever he likes, ignoring MIL etc.

Her ironing pile was seriously high, almost touching the ceiling one day when DH and I were down to visit. At a guess I'd say 90% of the items were FILs, but he didn't care.

DH (who does the ironing at our house) got out the board, iron and stood for hours ironing to help his mum out, as she's really busy and is a carer for 2 sick family members.

FIL came into the room, saw what DH was doing and just chuckled, "Oh, is that what those things are for" and off he went again

Pig!

(By the way, if anyone is wondering what I was doing when DH was helping MIL, I was running around after our toddler!)

My MIL has a different view about this depending on which son she is commenting on. She recognises fully that DH is perfectly capable of cooking cleaning, looking after DS (all of which he does admirably) and never comments on our domestic arrangement at all (perhaps she recognises my lack of enthusiasm in that department!). However, when it comes to DH's younger brother, then it is a different story. SIL is the devil incarnate for leaving the children with him on a Saturday after he has been working all week. She is always shocked when we go round for dinner and he does the cooking. BIL always seems to be put upon, more tired than the rest of us, harder working etc etc .

He plays her like a violin!

The first time I ever stayed with MIL she made a comment about DP getting his shirt out so that I could iron it for him for the morning. He and I both just about burst something laughing so hard at the idea I that would set up the board, iron his shirt then hang it up when I didn't have any ironing of my own, while he sat on his arse watching me.

I think she gathered our stance on shared housework from that because it hasn't really come up since then

LRD - true - I would, but DH likes washign to be done and away. (which I love because he then actually does it - unlike Ex who would just complain that my clothes were all over the floor and not do anything to get them in the washing! i don't know why i stayed with him so long - fancy staying with someone who expects you to sort out your own washing!!!)

the only thing I can think of in a 1950s housewife way that i did this weekend was sit next to DH when he played the piano at church yesterday. (it's on a stage thing, and all the singing group went to sit down in the normal congregation during the non-singy bits. I couldn't be arsed to)

oh, but i did make tea yesterday (does it count if all i did was cut up come salad andput it on a plate with some leftover pizza? )

DH does most things - he hung out all the washing etc when I was lying on the settee...

My mother knows I've been working like crazy to finish my studies and have been at my desk from 9am to about 11pm-midnight for the last two weeks. Her comment yesterday? 'Oh, now you've handed that in you'll be able to catch up on your linen bin'.

This is why I love MN. I think it's just me, but no, it's all of us!

(As if DH would leave stinky socks around for two weeks, right?!)

MIL thinks I am dreadful after realising that DP does at least as much housework as I do, sometimes more. Her exact comment was 'but he is at work all day'.

Clearly home educating and breastfeeding counselling don't count then.

FIL actually does the majority of washing and no one in this house bothers to iron.