Help me explain to my friend why this is really wrong

no SGB, she isn't harrassing or haranguing her, as I see it.

but we see things differently. You think it's ok. I don;t, and I suspect we won't meet on this.

Wearing very little, getting wet and sudsy...at least that's what the anticpated lure is. No problem with women wearing bikinis, but pay and I'll let you gawp at me (but it's not at all tawdry as it's all in the name of charidee) is tosh. It is tawdry, however they dress it up.

However, you've said your piece and she has her own v different views. Let it be.

Pan: No. It's about whether one person has the right to harangue and harass a friend for having a different opinion.

isn't the 'debate' whether you agree with prostitution, or not? If it promotes the position of women in society?

Firemen are seen as gorgeous & sexy, but that's not the point of them.

The point of wearing a bikini when not at the beach is to be appraised sexually.

Posted too soon...

Yeuch! And what HerBex said.

Just point her at that scene in .

Men don't do it too.

Those firemen aren't in their undies, they're fully clothed.

I wonder if this is an age thing, I'm over 40 and don't have a problem with it. I suspect most teens and early 20's wouldn't given the way they dress. My dd's are a bit young to understand the issues.

breast cancer do the moon walk , ok a bit more tasteful , but only a bit.
A decent bikinis hardly more revealing than the hot pants and shorts that will be seen on every high street today and at least their bra straps won't be showing, so they'll look a deal smarter.
The cast of calendar girls or hair spray get paid to take their clothes off and Maria sharapova is paid for those legs just as much as her tennis

On a slightly different tangent, if you are on display like that, you'd better hope ALL of the woman alongside you have fantastic bodies and big tits and look like the type of women the type of man who will come to this will fancy..

Because the object of the exercise is to be looked at ,leered at and judged.

And she will be. Loudly probably by ugly,thickmen.

You could tell her that she should charge extra if the bloke has a hard on while she washes his car.

I agree with Dittany here: "Tell her she's right you wish you were brave enough to stand outside in a bikini and won't it be great to be looked at by all those men, and won't it be great for them too to get to see her body."

I remember refusing to do the same thing a (long) while back. At first I was OK to do it - I was fit and did enjoy showing off. But somebody must have said something that worked, because my mental picture of what I'd be doing changed - from having a giggle, being admired and doing a good work - to being leered at by unpleasant men, who would take it to mean that I was some sort of available hooker with car-washing skills. I opted out.

I know I might be spectacularly missing some important point but I do feel at times that feminist views on this type of thing have tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes porn is an exploitative industry and there are a lot of women in the world who suffer terribly to give men pleasure.

However, this situation is different in my view. This involves women who are proud of their bodies showing them off, voluntarily and for no profit, to raise money for charity. Yes men will look at them with lust, but the women are aware of that and are using it to their advantage. Lust isn't automatically a bad thing. Now, if the men were shouting degrading things at the women then I think that would be a step too far, but I've been to something similar before and it really was a family event where women of all shapes and sizes had a laugh and got soaked while men, women and children looked on and laughed. It was very good fun, and yes, perhaps there were some leery men in the audience but they weren't obvious. I don't see why those leery men should stop the confident women from doing something they obviously enjoyed a lot. The idea that women in bikinis is automatically a sexual thing is a bit odd IMO. The charity event I saw didn't come off as sexual at all, like SGB said it was more bawdy seaside fun really, if that.

BTW OP heaping judgement on your friend is very rude IMO. She has the right to do this if she wants to, she's not hurting anyone and she's certainly not being coerced into it. You don't agree with it but that's your problem not hers.

Kayah - I see where you're coming from but on a day-to-day basis I doubt whether the majority of people think that deeply about it - they probably just see it as a bit of silly fun to rasie some cash for charity.

It's not something I'd take part in (people would definitely be paying me to put my clothes back on in any case ), but if that's the way others want to go so be it. As SGB said - it's probably intended as 'bawdy seaside postcard' type stuff, not something to be taken so seriously.

(will agree that the juxtaposition with 'family fun day' is a bit yukky though!)

Ugggggh. That is foul. I'm with getorf.

But I agree you should leave it. She won't change her mind.

Maybe you should get a bunch of friends together and offer the girls money to put on more clothes? If the object is to raise money for charity then they couldn't refuse, could they?

Some women just don't get it, and even enjoy and get validation from being ogled by strange men, so you're unlikely to ever get through to her.

The 'you're just jealous' retort just proves 100% how much they don't get it. I'm 5'9" and a size 10 - yet you're the one who needs to be leered at by balding, middle-aged Trevor from No. 64 in order to feel good about yourself. How does that work, then?

I'm afraid I agree with GetOrf - I massively judge women who think this is OK as being thick as two short ones. They either cannot or will not see the bigger picture, and for that I judge freely. Always have and always will. Time to give it up and save your blood pressure.

What's wrong with car washes for charity. You know, just wearing normal clothes.

Yes less lucrative perhaps that carnwashes with yer tits out but isn't that a good thing? Just wash more cars, raise more money that way.

I would assume that someone who would choose to do this was as thick as dogshit, actually.

Bollocks to being jealous for being a size 10 or whatever. I am a size 10. I can think of loads of chritable events which do not require me to stand there working up a lather in a bikini. Fuck that.

SBG 'anal gangbangs for cancer research' made me larf

Some interesting points, I'm enjoying this thread. OP, how about you and a few mates getting together to organise your own charitable event? - Something that you would support/approve of?

DSS - I think it is hard for me to explain in short words that Idon't agree with your statement.

Just because those ladies don't understand the psychology behind why guys pay them wearing bikini for cars doesn't make it right

there are going to be younger girls there

their daughters too

what is the message they are conveying???

Cab? Sorry, cba