contraception and menstruation

LittleSez... the thread has moved on but sex-ed (of a kind) background here too...don't think it ever leaves you!

This thread reminds me my first post natal appointment for contraceptives, and being offered the medina coil, injections, an implant or 'possibly' the pill.

When I requested condoms, I got told 'obviously' I would need something else as well.

NJK interesting theory about contraceptives requiring medical input, sounds very plausible to me.

MrsT I don't think they would, at least not knowingly. My husband was meant to go under for a procedure, but they ended up not doing so because his original issue had stopped happening and the procedure, which was sending a tiny scope up his penis, was known to cause libido issues. Thankfully it was simply a one off group of kidney stones so it wasn't really needed, but with all my health problems, no one has ever mentioned or been concerned about my libido.

I use a silicone cervical cap, that I had to buy online because NICE decided that since only a very select group of women would choose one that they would stop carrying them (or possibly because, since it's soft silicone, it doesn't need sizing from a medical professional so completely leaves them out of the loop). Same reason for the dwindling diaphram numbers - women are being pushed off of them onto contraception that requires more regular medical input and which they have less control over by themselves. I chose mine because I wanted to make sure it wouldn't clash with any other medical issue and it's something I have control over from day one and don't need to see anyone else to maintain as I can deal with it myself (thus less brow beating from them to go onto something else).

I suppose that I have some sympathy for doctors - after all there are an awful lot of "whoops!" pregnancies around.

However, I find it very insulting that the contraception leaflet that I was given (when discharged after giving birth) was very heavily slanted towards methods that are implanted by medics and that the woman herself has no control over. And those are all hormonal methods. I was on the pill for 2 months in my twenties, and those three months were hellish. I had no libido at all (normally very high) and felt very depressed. But when I went back to the doctor, he was very suspicious that the hormones had caused the problems and was asking me if my relationship was abusive instead. Why isn't it common knowledge that these side effects exist? No-one ever told me, but since it happened I have found a load of women who have gone through the same. It makes me angry that I went through that experience - it took another 3 months for me to get back to some kind of normality, and I wonder if I was ever quite the same again. Which tallies with this scientific research -
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16409223

I had another GP refer me to have a diaphragm fitted in the end - much better. But it's so hard to get one nowadays. It makes me angry that a woman's sexual desire is messed around with so much. Could we really see GPs routinely putting men onto a drug that will permenently squash their libido and can cause depression? They even put teenagers onto it without any thought of long-term effects!

I'm BFing at the moment and miss my cycles (or more accurately I miss my libido). Definitely wouldn't want to use contraception that affected my libido.

Pre-pregnancy I used an IUD. I had no problems letting someone put a bit of metal/plastic in my body if it meant I could carry on having sex without condoms. Plus, after removal you are immediately fertile - not always the case with hormonal contraception.

The risk of ectopic pregnancies with a non-progesterone IUD is half that than with no form of birth control, but if you do get pregnant with an IUD there is a higher risk it will be ectopic as the chance of intrauterine pregnancies is so much lower.

I'm with cattleprod, snowmama & littlesez - condoms for practical and control reasons. LOL cattleprod, agree there is a major advantage in someone else having to get out of bed to have a post coital sort out. Touch wood, I've always been relatively lucky with my periods, haven't found them a major inconvenience, and have enjoyed the connection with what's going on in my body.

This is very present for me: DS is 4 weeks old and all the HCPs have started pushing hormonal methods. They don't seem to trust DH and I to use condoms, although we did successfully for 12 years before TTC (well, not not trying for the first year ). Whilst he says having got used to it for 2 years he'd prefer not to use them, we've discussed all the other methods that involve messing with my body and lots of uncertainty about the affect on my periods, moods etc and I think we'll see how we get on. We do plan to have more children, so whilst I'd prefer to wait till DS has a bit more independence, it wouldn't be a disaster if I fell pg again.

snowmama me too i think condoms are the way to go can't you tell my mum is a sex ed teacher ?

princehumperdink got a few more children planned yet

It just seems there are a million ways for women to interfere with their bodies but none for men

I am NEVER going back to any kind of contraception ever except condoms i have long and boring stories as to why

Ooh

I've never done that

After sex, wrongdecade!

wipe slime from my fanjo

what?

I've only ever used condoms. I'm not prepared to pump myself full of hormones and get fat and have to wipe slime from my fanjo or lay in a wet, sticky bed all night just so DP gets marginally more sensation.

Would happily do without periods though - would make swimming trip/holiday/underwear planning much easier, and solve the psychological issues I now have with bleeding 'down there' following a mc.

I had the implant but had issues was literally on a 'P' all the time with like a week break if If was lucky, being anaemic bleeding for like 2 onths at a time made me very ill.

got put on The pill to stop me bleeding whilst its good all the hormones have caused my chest to just grow and grow i've gone up 4 cups in the last year .
sorry fir the life story seems as one problem is erased on crops up.

Rather than rejecting PIV, I would promote barrier methods. Sex for me (completely anecdotal no scientific basis) does provide benefits including, energy, reduces severity and recurrence of my migraines, back ache and general pain...I include PIV and non-PIV in this...and would prefer not to add to my ever growing 'life admin list of things to do' - 'must not do PIV'.

I am a big fan of male and female condoms. Used well they are very safe particularly in conjunction with spermicides. Have never had an accident with them.

Dittany - I'm interested in your take on IUD. I hadn't thought of it that way. I have always thought that the way hormonal contraception is so heavily pushed was a problem and have never ever wanted it for myself; like HerBex I was wondering recently why no one talks about diaphragms any more. I mentioned the iud to DP and he was appalled; on some gut level he saw it as a really extreme thing, he was very surprised I was even thinking about it. I thought of it as a simple localised physical solution that doesn't bludgeon your whole metabolism with hormones. Now I think that (unusually for me - usually my gut leads me firmly and instantly towards the me-first, don't mess with my body for your purposes, feminist take on things, whether I follow it in real life and deal with the consequences or not) I am maybe missing something. Maybe I don't know enough about it.

What annoys me about hormonal contraception is that female libido is linked to the monthly cycle and peaks at ovulation for obvious reasons. So, if you suppress ovulation, you will suppress libido (to some extent, obviously it depends on the woman). Which rather goes against the point of using contraception in the first place.

Last year, for this reason, I ventured to the family planning centre to try out the diaphragm. However, it was enormous, like inserting a UFO up myself, so I have to confess I wimped out.

this is interesting because i was just thinking recently that despite the fact that i've got 3 dc and dh has had a vasectomy, i have still got another 10-15 years or so of periods still to go which seems a bit pointless.

but having been fat and unhappy on the pill in my teens and 20s, there's no way i'd want to mess with my hormones artificially... so i guess i'm stuck with it...

Post 2nd child, I started suffering incredible depressive mood swings which coincided with my cycle. Frightened the shit out of me when I ended up gibbering in a corner seriously considering self-harm. Had the Mirena - sorted.

Beforehand we'd considered the snip for dh.

I always resented taking the Pill.

I prefer sex without condoms with dh, plus am one of the women who does orgasm during PIV, so giving it up would be a bit of a bummer for me.

(sorry, clearly I am one of the lucky people who reacts exactly as expected to hormonal contraceptives, I realise it's not the case for everyone)

Are there any options for men yet?just wondering ? we use condoms because im not going through any more hormonal shit

I am on the depo provera injection. It it great. I don't have periods and don't have mood swings.

I never felt this earth-mother need to be in touch with my periods. They were just inconvenient and uncomfortable things that helpfully happened at about the same time as mood swings, so I was uncomfortable and grumpy and having to deal with unwanted excretions at the same time.