contraception and menstruation

The only other prob I once had with a diaphragm was tht it kept causing cystitis as it was pressing on my bladder or sth but I think it was because it was the wrong size

I never quite got that advice about putting it in every night ("what if I'm not going to have sex?" was always the question that sprung to mind). It's no more a passion killer putting a diaphragm in, than putting a condom on and can be part of the action as it were...

I remember when I had a diaphragm in my 20s - I was told to put it in each night, spermicidal jelly and all "like brushing your teeth". Which seemed like a huge palaver. But on the other hand stopping the action once you've decided to have some impromptu sex to go wrestle with springy massive bit of plastic and jelly in the shared bathroom of your flat is a bit of a passion killer. I think that's why it's just not so popular, or reliable.

The only time I've had contraception 'pushed' on me was straight after having my DCs (that ridiculous conversation in the hospital where the midwife asks about contraception and you think "Do you think I'm ever going to have sex again after that experience?!?" )I guess the reason they do it though is because of the health, mental health and child welfare risks for women who fall pregnant again before their bodies have recovered.

My impression is that most IUD/mirena users have had children already (not sure if that's true, just from experience/friends) and don't view their cervix in quite the same way. A bit of plastic/copper seems like not such a big deal now, but I don't I would have had one put in before I'd given birth. I am really happy with mu Mirena, but I know it doesn't work for all. I was quite looking forward to the prospect of no periods, but that hasnt happened for me.

Actually that is very depressing isn't it - a subliminal knowledge that so many girls and women are coerced into sex they don't want, that we'd better contracept them all efficiently so that we don't have to deal with any consequences of this constant coercion. Because after all, they can't be expected to insist on the barrier, or have time to insert it...

Constantly 'ready' contraception certainly seems to suggest to some men people that a woman using contraception is 'up for it' .

Remember Norplant, the now discontinued implant? It showed up under black light in night clubs etc and there have been anecdotal reports of the presence of Norplant being used as an excuse for a sexual assault.

I am fascinated by the Billing's Method but not really motivated enough to find a trainer and get to know my body that well. Sheer lazyness really, and other contraception suits me.

Re STDs: I think there is a huge isssue that goes way beyond public health campaigns about Safer Sex/condom use etc and that is empowering young woman. I see far too many young teenagers (13-14 ) who feel they have to agree to sex to be popular/confuse sex with affection or attention and who are not in a position to insist on a condom or STD screening before engaging in a sexual relationship. It makes me v angry. And I feel helpless in the face of the pressure these young people are under - both the boys who have to 'shag' to be seen as 'manly' by their peers and of course the girls.

rollonby, I am not convinced that charting etc need be a complete palaver. Drs etc imply that there are no alternatives to hormonal contraception which actually work. However, I have never used a hormonal contraceptive and often no physical contraception at all and have never had an unwanted pregnancy. (I never used a thermometer or wrote anything down either)
Why is this? - luck? yes, but also I have always been lucky enough to have been in relationships where I've had full control over how and when we have sex. It occurs to me that this may not always be the case and in fact you might say - the darkest way of articulating this analysis - that hormonal contraceptives are popular because they make women more conveniently rapable. (A pregnancy might be a shared consequence; if a woman catches an std it's her problem)

Dittany, it wasn't me who mentioned contact lenses - I get where you're coming from

Lots of that attitude is due to a lack of medical health campaigns (unlike when I was young), which has resulted in a very blase attitude towards STDs. I find it quite frightening.

That's what I've noticed. Theres a flippant attitude to STDs but they could certainly have a more negative affect on your life than an unwanted pregnancy.

I think most 16 year olds know about stds but dont think it will happen to then. Actually tbh I know loads of people older than 16 that dont use condoms and have lots of casual sex because they dont think it will happen to them or its easily fixable. I think overall ime most people are worried about pregnancy but ambivilent about stds.

I've just been looking at the nhs website and I have never been offered any information on the ring or the patch. I didn't know these existed. When I went to the GP about changing from the pill I was offered depo, coil or implant.

I wonder if when a young woman goes to a GP if she is told about the importance of preventing STIs and HIV? I know i didnt when i went at 16. Perhaps they should also be encouraging people to have regular sexual health check ups including HIV test eg between partners or when stopping using condoms? The number of people living with HIV in the uk is still rising and yet it seems, to me, that it just isn't mentioned anymore.

lilbb - I think its because a lot of people go without anything rather than wear condoms as they dont like the feel. Rightly or wrongly its common in teens/young people that I know so I suppose they think they should promote the pill or a lot of younger people just wouldnt bother using anything.

HeBeX, caps and diaphragms have been requested less and less. A colleague of mine has been doing Family Planning Clinics for 26 years and has seen a steady decline in demand (again, too fiddly/intimate for some/a lot of younger women??) which in turn led to fewer HCP being trained in fitting them which in turn leads to them being offered less often...

They reduce the risk of STD, but not as effectively as condoms btw.

Access to safe and reliable contraception is a feminist issue. Menstruation and contraception - not so sure; is that not more a personal preference?

I agree a conversation about Safer Sex should come with all contraceptives - particularly at the first consultation.

Re blood test in Germany prior to pill prescriptions: that'll be because the dr taking the blood and the dr running the lab all get paid for said blood test. There is really little to NO value to checking hormone levels prior to pill prescriptions. The pros and cons of an Item Of Service health care system is a whole other thread...

Cultural preferences come into it as well: anybody here using Nuvaring? I just cannot see this catching on much when I encounter women regularly who will not go fishing for a 'lost' tampon or who run screaming at the suggestion of a suppository for their vomiting child...

FWIW, I got on ok with the pill, the implant and the copper coil at various points in my life.
And am looking forward to menopause removing the need to think about contraception

I don't think it is off tangent at all lilBB...I wonder exactly the same thing. Also agree cap/diaphragm option appears as secure as hormones, without the side effects.

MrsTM I share your frustration/anger btw

Do diaphragms prevent STDs?

Isn't it strange that in a time where there is a rise of STDs that barrier methods arent more highly promoted. Thinking about from a sex ed/teenage angle, the emphasis seems to be on having sex without thinking. They are encouraged to have the implant so they don't have the responsiblity of taking a pill every day. I see posters in health care setting all the time about chlamydia and gonorhea testing but these dont seem to promote the use of condoms to not catch it in the first place. I also dont see a lot highlighting the risk of HIV. I find it scary really. Shouldn't we teach people to think about sex and consequences? Not just do it, you can't get pregnant with this in your arm and if you get chlamydia you can get some antibiotics for it. This has reminded me about a documentary on channel 4 a few months ago.

Sorry went off on a tangent there!!!

Why are diaphragms and caps on the decline though?

I think they're pretty perfect tbh. I know they have a slgihtly lower efficiency rate but there's nothing to stop you using them with condoms and they do promote condoms all over the shop - but the efficacy rate for condoms is the same as for diaphragms. But men control condoms.

That is annoying rollonby have you tried the female condom?

I hate this dilemma. I started a thread earlier about condoms breaking and was amazed to find out that some have small tears in that aren't visible. However, with diaphragms on the decline and an aversion to the copper coil (I don't like the mechanics of how they work) there aren't many options without going down the hormonal route.

Depo did not agree with me and two types of pill caused me to gain weight and reduced my libido. So, now unsure what to do, not ready for a permanent solution but would rather not use condoms. I also really don't want to take responsibility for charting and temping ect..

Following a few miserable teenage months on the pill (I'm convinced the lack of libido is how it's supposed to work ) I have always avoided hormonal methods. I had a diaphragm for a couple of years and got on very well with it - much nicer than condoms. Later on I was sterilised and I'm still really happy with that decision 13 years on. Mind you, that does involve a couple of bits of plastic inside me. The way it was explained to me, it's like a couple of little cable ties round my tubes. I can't really see the problem with that.

lilBB - I absolutely agree. There is an awful lot of concern from the medical profession for men who have prostate problems, trying to prevent sexual disfunction and incontinence. And quite right too! But women don't seem to be regarded as sexual beings. There are so many examples: women not being told how hysterectomy can effect orgasm; the fact that the actual size of the clitoris wasn't discovered until 2005 FFS! see here when the study of anatomy has been around for centuries; the fact that so many women are told that their sexual problems are "all in the head".

When I had quite severe vaginal pain following child birth I was told that I should count myself lucky that I wasn't incontinent, and that all that mattered was a healthy baby. No concern at all about me or my sex life.

Argh! I shouldn't post here, I'm just getting myself all worked up and angry!

I dont use contraception because (sorry to be crude) my husband always finishes with oral when its a time I could get pregnant. I have been doing it for 3 years and it works fine for me. The one month I had sex and he ejaculated in me at all points of the month I got pregnant.

Wouldnt work for everyone though as I have regular periods and neither of us are that bothered if I get pregnant. I dont want to take the pill and condoms feel awful and ruin sex for me.

I think this opens up a can of worms about how men and women get treated differently with relation to sex by the medical profession.