Question re making yourself look pretty....

Nice clothes doesn't automatically mean sundress. And why not wear one with unshaven legs?

There isn't much point in wearing a skimpy, pretty sundress and open toed sandals if you are going to have hairy legs and cracked heels etc. I don't wear make up in hot weather.

Where are people getting the idea that if you're a feminist (or not) and don't want to shave your legs for a wee while it also means you don't wash, clean teeth, wear nice clothes etc?? Are people deliberately misunderstanding the point?

@ Bunbaker - it depends upon the man in question, some do the minimum like showering, shaving and cleaning their teeth, others who are either more vain or less confident or want to express themselves through their image go for tattoos and jewellry. But it's women who are judged much more by their looks. I recently saw an advert in our local chemist for a cream to increase your bustsize! There was no cream alongside for men to supposedly increase the size of their muscles or genitals. I get fed up of being targeted.
I wear foundation, mascara, flattering bras and try to choose clothes that suit my colouring and shape. I suppose it's just wanting to make the best of myself but whether anyone else notices I've no idea!
Oh my DH has a beard cos he got fed up with shaving and he thinks it suits his face shape.

A lot of how well I am groomed is down to my work persona. I wear make up as a mask. Like Boudicca going into battle.

I wear high heels because I want to be the tallest person in the room.

I am more myself at the weekend (wear a lot less make up and am less severely dressed) but at work I dress to look as good as I can. I put on a different persona for work anyway, what I look like goes with that.

Yes Bonsoir. We wash and wear attractive clothes. Make-up, waxing etc. is a bit different.

I think there is real confusion on the feminist threads between "life in civilised society" and "patriarchy".

We wash and wear attractive clothes because we are civilised humans who want to make the most of ourselves, for ourselves and for those around us. That is part of "life in civilised society".

I wear makeup because I was bullied for being ugly at school. I wore makeup and it stopped.

I would like to stop wearing it now, but am not quite brave enough yet!

Bunbaker, there are men with facial hair everywhere. Especially younger men.

Bun, rock music is filled with beards. And they are hot.

I haven't shaved anything since the 'resisting compulsory femininity' thread and really feel like that is celebrating myself for who I actually am.
I also love painting my nails, wearing jewellery and clothes that look ok for my figure, when it suits me and I have time.
Any of the things SCGB listed actually.
But not scraping the top layer of skin from my legs and armpits daily to remain unnaturally smooth and painting my face to make it look less like what I look like.

I may well decide to shave my legs again in the future and wear make-up, I might not, but not doing those things for this short time so far has been so liberating. I recommend it even for a short experiment.

I've just read SGBs posts and nowI want some crimplene drawstring trousers,

I go through phases personally, I tend to do minimal make up when I can be bothered and tend to pluck eyebrows when they start to look uneven, but I know I'm not doing it for me, it's so I can fit in but this last week I've not bothered and I feel better for it. No one has screamed at my pale (and slightly spotty) face and I fee better for it. Just wish I had the confidence to carry on like that.

"We live in a society where women seem to be valued to a large extent because of the way they look"

Don't you think that this applies to men to some extent? How many men with beards do you see these days?

I can't believe I am writing this, but I agree with SCGB. Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to conform to most people's stereotype by looking like you don't give a fig about how you look. I make an effort because it is a kindness to people who have to look at me.

sorry reading not ready.

In fact, after ready SCGB's post I shall call it 'celebrating' myself and use it for justification-not that I think I should need any for personal choice.

I agree with SCGB.

Because I feel 100% better for it.
I have lost weight, go running, drink plenty of water, have better skin.
If I then wear clothes that suit me, shoes that don't make my thick ankles look thicker, make up to make my small eyes look bigger, do not have horrible hairy legs, I feel ready for anything.
Not taking care of myself would make me feel depressed and grey.
I like my perfume too.

TimeWasting I like that! Going to nick that response

Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell.

I don't tend to wear make up, only for special occasions. I guess I am just happy with the way I look au naturale.

Well there is a difference between putting yourself through painful and even damaging procedures in order to 'look good' and choosing to adorn and celebrate yourself. Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to wear crimplene drawstring trousers and stop washing your hair. Painting your nails blue or green or silver, dyeing your hair pink, wearing clothes that are brightly coloured or patterned or indeed look nice while being comfortable are all things that people like to do, and if anyone calls you a Bad Feminist for wanting to tie your hair back with a brightly coloured ribbon instead of an elastic band, or for buying a pair of green and red stripy trousers because they amuse you, then they are the ones with the problem.

i like the feel good, look good mantra!

anybody know where the resisting cumpulsory femininity thread is?

I saw a make-up ad earlier and growled 'I'm worth more than that!' at it automatically.

Mm - interesting question. Absolutely agree with Immaculada about vested interests, but I don't think there is a definitive answer to this dilemma. Yes - perhaps it is liberating for some women to NOT prettify themselves, but i suppose it depends on what we prettify ourselves FOR? I'm a self-confessed "prettifier" who loves clothes, makeup etc and for me it's empowering as without all my cosmetic trappings i wouldn't feel remotely good about myself.

I'm happy to be considered a "prettifier" as this is how I express myself as a person. I'm envious of those who do not feel they have to conform to certain expectations, however, particularly now I'm getting older!!

You're allowed to do anything you like (within reason) when it comes to your own body and the prettification thereof.

What's interesting is to examine why we do the things we do.
(Cleaning teeth would seem to be the best way of warding off tooth-decay, gum-disease and halitosis, PuppyMonkey - the cosmetic aspect is a long way below those things in importance. But you knew that, didn't you?)

We live in a society where women seem to be valued to a large extent because of the way they look - which is why the whole "pink princess" thing is so insidious - it's being shovelled into girls from the moment they're out of the womb.

Capitalism and the patriarchy both have a vested interest in keeping us image-obsessed - we are encouraged to shell out loads of money on our looks and our daughters' looks and it keeps us from recognising our own and each others' true worth. This obsession feeds directly into our self-esteem and is another way of keeping us down IMO. And in case I'm sounding a bit sanctimonious about it, I'm definitely not immune to the "look good, feel good" mantra.

I would say there is a difference between "prettification" and grooming, but it can be a fine line and it's very subjective.