Question re making yourself look pretty....

Its hard to sep back from it all

I guess it's nature at the root of it; look at birds preeing themselves and doing mating dances etc to attract a mate.

Saying that, the earliest humans didn't do much to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex (body painting perhaps)- there must just be a desire/necessity to procrate and carry on the human race that is ample enough without shaving/waxing/make up etc.

However, today, how someone looks isn't only to do with them; it's based on how others perceive us.

True feminnists though would have the choice to wear or not wear make-up to make themselves look pretty surely?

I like to feel a level of control over my appearance. So stray hairs on my chin and lip GO.

I also like the feeling of waxing (it hurts, but in a nice way, am I weird?), of rubbing oil into my skin.

Saying that, I also like to simply not look in the mirror for the rest of the day.

Thats really sad wrongdecade. That you cant justbe you :(

'I have a very wierd unnattractive face so its also practical reasons as i'll get less abuse if I wear it

That's horribly sad- whether it's actual abuse or you have avery poor self image, either way nobody should make anyone else feel abd about as unimportant a thing.

I wear loads of jewellery these days, ds1 wants to be a designer of the stuff and I am his model it seems LOL

Yes my DH is the same Riv (as you know LMAO). The only time we really make an effort is if we go to a carnival do and that's becuase we enjoy doing that- after several months of seeing little of each other except for at the roadside wearing three fleeces and / or a strange costuime then it's a lovely change.

But that's OK becuase I choose to do it and if I turned up in scruffs Dh woudln't care- well unless I was refused access (black tie normally) but understandable. It is, as you say, very freeing.

I vary from day to day how much make up I bother with. Depends if I'm meeting clients also.
Like others have said make up makes me feel a lot more confident.
I really do feel better when my eye bags have been slightly disguised and my cheeks have a little bit of colour.

Heels, can't do them. I look like a moron trying to walk in anything over 2 inches high

It is liberating not to. Am sure it's much better for your skin too.

I dont bother with any of it since reading about rwsisting feminimity but i will confess to having a small fret about it all. Dh just shaves and puts in clean clothes. He doesnt give a toss about what he looks like. Thats very freeing.

Like Boudicca going into battle. YY GetOrf, I am starting a new job in a few weeks and my clothes/makeup really will be battle gear, because I will be nervous and if I am in control of my appearance it helps me to feel in control in general.

The rest of the time, well, some of it is fun (matching eyeshadow to nail varnish) some of it is because I have been conditioned to feel better if I have black eyelashes rather than pale ones.

I prefer to have the choice though.

Nobody here gives a damn what I look like tbh, but I wear make up becuase it make me feel more confident. Actually I sometimes wear it would be accurate.

One of the days I did was the day ds1 was born, immediately, becuase i'd been through hell and wasn't going to face down the people invovled without feeling 'defended' if that makes sense. War paint I guess.

Don;t wear heels unless for costume (long story), have a fair few pairs of mid height glam shoes that are comfortable to wear as we attend a lot of awards bashes (nothing famous!). Allergic to wax anyway and far too poor of eyesight to pluck. Doesn't bother me at all. It's not that I don't recognise there is pressure but we live outside that to a degree for reasons of fate and I think people are used to the slightly scruffy, boho dressed quiet mum.

I feel human witha face full of make up on the rare occasions I've left the house without it I just stared at the floor hoping I never had to make eye contact,

I have a very wierd unnattractive face so its also practical reasons as i'll get less abuse if I wear it.

That's how I feel, porpoisefull - better for me to wax/epilate than spend all my time feeling self-conscious and awkward, never going swimming, being uncomfortable in long clothes all summer etc.

I mean, it would be nice to just be hairy and proud like most men seem to be. But not sure I can get there.

OK here is my rule of thumb which I have just come up with - however much prettification you do, you should be able go out and not think about your appearance at all - so, wearing uncomfortable high heels or clothes is bad, but so is feeling awkward because you feel scruffy compared to those around you.

Removing body/face hair is pretty much the only 'feminine' thing I do. No make-up, jewellery, high-heels, wear jeans and t-shirt most days etc. Being hairy is just something I'm very, very self-conscious about. I don't do it for DP, he doesn't mind (and doesn't seem to notice tbh), more for other people really.

At least half the men I know have some sort of facial hair going on, including those in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. Many full beards.
Regional thing perhaps? Whereabouts are you Bunbaker?

"Bunbaker, there are men with facial hair everywhere. Especially younger men."

I don't really notice/look at younger men as they don't interest me - I am an old biddy. Very few of the dads at school have beards and only one of the guys I work with has a beard. I can honestly say that I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of men I know with a beard.

Personally, facial hair on men is a big turn off for me, I just don't find it attractive. And as for kissing a hairy guy - yuck.

I think we all do differently from our mums. The threads that make me smile are the ones that say 'should I let my 12yr old DD shave her legs' -as if DD will say 'yes mummy, of course I won't'! My mother told me not to and I did it anyway.

Work personal = work persona

I am like GetOrf, in that I have a defined look for work which generally includes skirts, heels, make up, facial hair threading etc. I do wear it as a performance, and as part of my work personal, but would disagree it was like a play or uniform...because in theory I have choice not to wear these things. Also, none has ever said out loud ..you should wear 'x'. However, in reality I am conforming to the look expected of me.

Weekends, I am a lot more relaxed and make up free. Still like to get spruced up for the occasional night out,but unlike work, it does not feel mandatory.

I wear high heels because I buy into the tempting idea that they make you feel and look good. I love being tall and I get a kick out of being perfectly able to walk/run in them. I am aware this is dodgy from a feminist point of view, but at the moment it's one of my cognitive dissonances I'm fairly comfortably with.

As to makeup, I don't feel uncomfortable about it - I don't feel the need to wear it at any particular time so to me it's just decorative. I think having grown up with a mum who has a very puritanical, judgmental attitude to makeup in particular and what S&B would call 'grooming' in general, I see this rather differently from some feminists. My mum made me feel so ashamed of wanting to try out makeup/shave my legs that I now enjoy doing it because I can - ironically mum hated makeup because her mum insisted on buying it for her!

Treating cracked heels is a kindness to oneself, quite different. It happens to look better, just as being healthy in general is more attractive.

GetOrf, that's just like having a uniform for work I guess, or a costume in a play.

Of course we must do what we want, but examining our reasons and different attitudes and challenging ourselves like I have with the not shaving is fun.

Just had a thought, did Western women shave their legs before fashion started to show legs? Particularly naked legs?

I just picked sun dress-anything that shows your legs. You can wear one with unshaven legs if you want-it wouldn't make me feel good -so I wouldn't.
It is personal choice. I think tattoos and piercings are horrible. No one has to agree-we are all free to do our own thing.

Hmmm...one of my oldest frineds is a feminist and rathe rbutch lesbian. She doesn't wax etc but she does take a lot of care with her appearance: her hair is extremely short and regularly trimmed, her clothes, though men's are immaculate.

She also has several tattoos and piercings which hurt every bit as much as waxing...