The moment you knew mumsnet feminism section was starting to influence how you think?

Just wanted to let a few of you know that I am suwoo under a permanent name change.

DP does all the hoovering - maybe that's because we don't have a lawn for him to hoover mow.

Some people do hoover the grass

mowing the lawn is a lovely job (unless one or more children is in the way). Relaxing, you don't have to think, and the results last more than a couple of hours unlike sweeping the bloody floor or wiping the bloody table.

For me, it was the moment I was able to articulate, plainly and straightforwardly, why it was important to focus on men's and not women's behaviour in abusive relationships. The difference between knowing something in your bones and being able to point to the facts that support your position. And the facts that have most hit home for me have been about the pervasiveness of sexist violence: harrowing statistics and harrowing stories. Being Jewish, I'd always been aware of just how lucky I was to be born in this place and this century and under these circumstances, compared to my co-religionists who have faced persecution in other places, times and circumstances. Now, I'm conscious of being twice lucky - because I've not encountered the overt violence that so many women have faced, even when they are in very similar places, times and circumstances to me.

Not quite sure what the first pointer was, but noticing all the sexist shit in adverts and on the TV was certainly one area that highlighted the influence this area was having on me.

Also I went to stay with a friend for a week and the only bit of housework her DH did was mow the lawn . Although tbf I would have probably noticed that anyway as she was knackered with 3 kids, and he wasn't! He was also controlling - which I had never picked up on before.

It was a while back, when i'd been approached by a random man in a white van, asking me for a date whilst i pushed my toddler in a buggy. He became angry when i explained i was married. Lots of people told me to be flattered and get over it and then Dittany came to my aid saying that i had a right to trust my instincts and why on earth should a woman feel she has to be grateful and compliant over any unwanted male attention etc. Lightbulb moment where someone else managed to articulate thoughts i couldn't quite express myself.

When I actually emailed Superdrug to complain about the beauty card without prompting from a feminist thread/ change.org/ petition website.

Or possibly when I started actively looking for feminist websites to join

It's crept up on me slowly. I can't put a finger on any exact point.

The first time I felt angry towards the men who raped me. It has taken such a mental reversal to hold them, not me, responsible. Which I can do thanks to this section.

Also reversed my views on porn.

I don't post here very often because it takes me so long to think of the words and it makes me cry. But I lurk every day.

I've just remembered, I was up at school picking up the dc from the after school club they go to (we're in Germany, they're in primary school equivalent). I saw on a notice board that they were running a Beauty and Wellness afternoon (wtf?) and immediately blurted out to one of the people who runs the club "Is that for boys as well?!" probably in a slightly more militant tone than I would normally use

PrinceH: I've not gone anywhere. I just rarely post these days.

Didn't seem smug at all. :)

My moments:
Calling myself a feminist
Calling myself a woman
Complaining about a Nuts/ Zoo esque magazine on display
Joining my local feminist network!
Stopping shaving my body hair. (I did 3 months. Was aiming for a year but i now shave my armpits. Smelly! Legs are left hairy though! )
When i started 'telling friends off' for making sexist remarks.
When i started caring about rape. I cared before, but not truely cared.
I love the feminist section. Dittany, you have changed my life.

Not so much that it influences how I think, more that it validates what I think and how I am...
I have been single for 3 years now, but have always been fairly independent as was a single mum for years before that relationship.

I have always argued with my Mother when she insisted that she would ask my brother to help with stuff around the house, pointing out that I could do almost all the jobs that she insisted she "needed a man to do"

I very rarely shave my legs or my bikini line, i do wear eye liner, but mostly that's it, I wear eye make up when I go out, but I do it because i wear glasses and I like how i look, better with it, than without.

I haven't watched porn more than a couple of times and was so appalled that I haven't since.

I tell my four year old that she doesn't need to wear dresses to look pretty and that who she is is much more important than how she looks. (she tends to look like and say "but look how swishy it is when i spin")... I'll keep working on her!

I don't post (I do lurk) on the feminist threads though, as I always feel a little out of my depth, but I love reading the arguments that often express what I feel, but can't always verbalise

Oops. I sound so smug about the blog. What I meant really is that I feel like I am doing something rather than just getting pissed off about it. I've also managed to get in touch with other people here to and work with them thanks to it. Not smug -just happier with myself than before.

@Bumperlicioso I'm so impressed with your power point. I bet that shut him up.

I'm a serial lurker too, partly because of ignorance, partly because of the time difference (I'm in Mexico and 6 hours behind the UK). But reading the feminist board is on to-do list in any spare time I have (like just now while DH has taken my DC out for the afternoon). I have learnt so much new stuff, it's like being back at University.

I've always considered myself to be a feminist, even in the face of disparagement etc. But the board has given me new confidence in myself as a person who can do things herself... Last year I wrote looking for help with a campaign in Mexico to free some women who'd been in prision having an abortion (illegal) amongst whom there were some who had just suffered miscarriages. I asked for support and they (I can't remember who now) told me to start my own blog. So I did. And you know what it's been great. I've got a whole archive now of post over women's issues in Mexico and suddenly I feel less isolated than I did before.

Also my DH has finally realised (for himself - just by chatting with me and reading said blog) that the argument "but you aren't discriminated against, why do you care" is silly. He still has to come a long way on "but if they choose to do it, why do you care?" but he is getting there. When we got married he thought he was in favour of feminisim but that it was nolonger useful or relevant anymore. Now he is worrying about how our DD is being exposed to gender stereotyping at nursery and keeps noticing blatant sexism all around him.

So yes I thought I'd write just to say thanks to all of you who post regularly on the feminist boards. I, for one, greatly appreciate it.

Thanks AF

yy to feeling responsible for others happiness. It is not my job to fix people, only to be a decent human being.

Also for me, doing things sexually I didn't like or want to do, even after saying I didn't like these things, but feeling I should. I won't be doing that any more.

Some other things that have happened to me that I've internalised and classed as my fault, they weren't.

My body is my own and it's worth is not defined by how attractive it appears to the opposite sex.

God that's an atrocious attitude, isn't it?

That assumption of total irresponsibility for children on the part of men?

It really goes to the heart of why men are allowed to abandon their children without any social opprobrium, with reference to another thread...

franke that's really good. I hate it when women are apologetic or doubtful about the value of their work.