I'm posting this on here because I hope you'll agree with me

How on earth would shaving in order to "get a man" (ugh) not be an adjustment? The natural position is body hair.

Someone mentioned beards earlier. There are men with facial hair everywhere at the moment. Especially younger men.

Hairy? Check
Husband? Check

My post did read rather badly, I must admit. No, I don't think women should make any adjustments to their body to get a man.

But do you class shaving your legs/armpits as making an adjustment?

(Glad I gave you all a good laugh, if nothing else )

Poor lass, that's a crappy present, even if both mum and daughter were completely comfortable with the idea that removing women's hair is a standard part of hygiene/grooming. What's she going to get next year, a box of tampax or a face cloth?

Aww, poor kid. It's really tough figuring out all that becoming an adult stuff and what you want to accept or reject with, what seems at the time, all the world watching.

Spectacular insensitivity from her mother. And some weird shit on the thread from YummyHoney.

so basically her mum doesn't know her very well, and bought her a misguided present? it doesn't sound incredibly upsetting though.

s'right, SQ

sign here all mn'ers who are
a) hairy
b) in a sexual relationship with a man

and, OP, I would say YANBU, if as you say she has said she didn't want such a thing. Some women are too keen to make 'friends' of their daughters which ends up them initiating them into 'feminine' ways- shopping and twittering on about makeup.

Sorry if that sounds miserable, but have observed it when poor girls are still at primary school!

I completely understand why you are about this, MarionCole. The idea that a woman's natural body hair is something to be got rid of gets drummed in pretty early. I know I tried to shave my legs before I was 12 and made a right hash of it. I got a kindly "you're too young" talk from my Mum and went about my business hirsute for a number of years after. And this was the mid 80s. I don't even remember my legs being commented on by anyone else, I just thought the hairs looked disgusting because they were many and dark. After the "resisting femininity" thread and having a good old think about the whys and wherefores, I am much more casual about hair removal.

Do you know why she was mortified? I would imagine that some 15 year old boys might be embarrassed at opening a shaving present in front of family too. At that age you don't really want personal stuff out there in a public space. Or any age, really.

(Who's going to tell yummyhoney that all sorts of men are in fact very happy to have sex with women who aren't plucked like chickens?)

well I assumed it would be for her legs tbh

And people show their legs and pits - people would know whether she had hair or not IYSWIM, especially family. Genitals OTOH you don't really show around the place.

I thought it was quite clear?

Maybe she was embarrassed at opening such a personal thing in front of other people and a bit pissed off/disappointed that her mother got her such a crappy gift.

"bits" is a fairly common word for genitals

And I can't imagine anyone would think that it was embarrassing for another person to know that they have hair growing on their legs or armpits. Even when I was a fairly frequently embarrassed 15yo, the thought of legs or armpits didn't cause even a pink glow. Genitals OTOH a different matter...

That's how it read to me anyway.

"first respondent assumed that it was for genitals." Where? I must be going senile because I've read the first respondent's post three times, slowly, and I can't find any reference to genitals!

I think removal of hair (wherever she is supposed to be using the ladyshave...) is something she has been talking about with her mum but maybe she was embarrassed to open it with other people around watching

And, they're crap too...

At 15, I'd be surprised if she weren't already either shaving or depilating in some way. I'd imagine she either asked for it or her mother is fed up with her borrowing hers (if that makes sense).

Not saying it's a good present but most people do conform to the stereotype and her mother may not even consciously realise that she is conforming or doing anything that would cause comment.

If I'm being really honest (and I suppose I should be) it does rather look as if you're making something out of nothing.

Are feminists hairy, then?

Crikey, what's wrong with that? Do you think she should walk around hairy then? How will she ever get a boyfriend if she has hairy legs/armpits. Don't think there are many males around who LIKE hairy women.

So, yes, YABU.