This is a kind of follow-up from the "what you wear might make men want to rape you" argument on another thread
Of course, I am a fully card-carrying member of "women should wear what they like and not have to suffer unwelcome attention" group
But here is my dilemma..
My dd is 15. She has big breasts for her frame. She likes to wear low cut, tight vest tops which I really have to bit my tongue about as her boobs are very much on display. She also wants to wear these tiny little strapless playsuit thingies that have to be worn without a bra. It looks like at any moment she is going to fall out of the one she insisted on buying (with her own, earned money from a PT job)
Do I pull my parental muscle and ban the wearing of such items bearing in mind she is living in my house, under my care. She is 15 and fairly streetwise but wouldn't cope with any serious sexual predation (of course). As part of her job, she was subjected to some unwelcome attention from an older bloke and she absolutely freaked out.
But still she wants to wear these clothes, and I know (as much as I rail against it, intellectually) that it isn't right.
I know this post is absolutely chockfull of hypocrisy and stupidity, btw, but am in a right old muddle.
What do I say to her, without
-
knocking her confidence
-
banning said clothes outright (we shouldn't have to do that, should we ? should we ???)
Am I taking the concept of wearing what you like and Fuck the Patriarchy too far and overthinking this ? Or by letting her wear relatively revealing clothes, am I failing in my duty as her mother ?
Now be aware these are perfectly ordinary clothes you can buy all over the high street, that thousands of other teenagers are wearing too. That is why she wants them, of course. Nothing she wears is at all overtly sexy, it's just how it looks to me, IYSWIM. I see my DH wincing sometimes too, and he is very feminist-minded. I guess he is mindreading others 
Help me sort this out please. < sob >