"man up"

I'm reasonably sensitive to language I think, and I do object to "grow a pair" but I think that the "man" in "man up" tends to be used as the opposite of boy, not of woman.

On MN in particular it's often used in the context of a man needing to behave like an adult and take responsibility for parenthood or not be over-reliant on his mother - and in that context I don't have a problem with it.

However I do strongly object to it when used to women, especially in the context of spiders FFS. A grown woman who has to rely on men to deal with minibeasts needs to woman up, or get therapy.

I think it originates from porn

I thought "suck it up" just meant anything unpleasant but prudent - like "take your medicine"?

I hate, hate, hate 'suck it up, princess'.

Doesn't it imply a woman being forced to swallow semen following a blow-job, that she's not too good for it, putting her down, sexual violence essentially?

hate it.

Lol!
I didn't know that about deodorant, though - one to keep in mind when the very big, furry moths with hard wings appear in autum

Here is a thread elsewhere on Mumsnet in which a woman says she must "man-up" in order to...

...deal with a spider.

Feminism has far to go.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1210612-fucking-hell-theres-a-daddy-longlegs-in-my-kitchen-HELP

I just needed to be assertive & decisive. In fact, I could be heard growling "Decisive! Decisive!" to myself while negotiating that horrid big roundabout near Croydon ...

I lived in Tooting at the time, so needed a viable alternative to "Drive like someone whose uncle in Peshawar issued their licence, without requiring lessons!"

Please don't make assumptions about that unless you have actually driven round Tooting on a market day.

GB, I have often thought about starting a thread on something like, 'a feminist perspective on driving'. I suspect that there is a difference between male/female approaches to driving, but have only very very vauge thoughts and no idea how even to start a converation. Don't want to hijack the thread but your thoughts would be appreciated - again....

I say "woman up" sometimes, but not often as there are so many fine alternatives. Don't like body-part imperatives: my family's prone to testicular/ovarian cancer, as a result of which many of us have only one ovary/testicle. Kind of takes the chutzpah out of the phrase.

A confession, though - when I started driving again after a total loss of confidence, I resorted to telling myself to "drive like a man!" but it worked.

My experience of people saying this has generally been overgrown school boys in a male-dominated environment. And that sums up their attitude to life in general. Single-handedly belittling the person they are speaking to and women in general. Lovely.

This phrase really annoys me. I work with someone who is in the navy reserves and she said it all the time until a male colleague who had heard me ranting about it pulled her up on it not long ago. I had a warm feeling inside when he did that!

He also emailed to say that I would be proud of him because the other day he had changed "unmanned" in a report to "unstaffed". Some of what I said in the 6 months he sat by me has sunk in!

It's amazing how much language just ignores women. When we talk of an England team it usually refers to the men's football or cricket team, for example.

Like Prolesworth's ovaries. And Goblin's vertebrate. All this 'man up' grow a pair' is just (literally) bollocks

I try to avoid "man up" and deffo not "grow a pair" or "you've got balls" type comments - beautifully put sAf btw - it totally reinforces the idea that men are or should be tough and dominant. Remember "if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and 'unfeminine' and if we don't" (and presumably if women don't 'grow a pair') "we're typical weak females".

I've tried to swap "guts" or "intestinal fortitude" for "balls" or "ballsy" (both used a bit over here in the USA.)

I love "spine" and "backbone" though - very no-nonsensey, very equal-opportunities tough-but-not-aggressive. :)

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter; where your backbone ought to be."
1920s feminist - Clementine Paddleford
I love this quote!

.....must admit i did once tell a friend to 'think like a man' when it came to her hobby - she had all but discarded it for her family and friends while her Dh still had his interests to fall back on of an evening / weekend....and while it's not ideal - i couldn't tihnk of a better way of telling her that her interests where just as valid a passtime. After all - we all know of marriages where the man continues his prenuptial hobbies and the woman forgoes hers totally.

I usually tell my women friends to "woman up" and they go "Payne the phrase is man up"

I like the phrase 'man up' but only when said to a woman.

Agree about 'grow a pair', though, that is so offensive.

I thought the phrase was on its way out. I haven't heard it recently but used to a lot 2+ years ago.