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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

"A lady is well mannered, patient, kind, virtuous, meek, humble and always there to back up her man"

65 replies

thefinerthingsinlife · 06/05/2011 09:22

Another one of my SIL 'inciteful' views on women!

This followed "People don't realise how much power real ladies truly hold, behind every great man is a great woman, people need to accept men and women are different, 2 halves of one whole created to compliment each other."

WTF!

OP posts:

PrinceHumperdink · 09/05/2011 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 18:19

Gentle and kind are certainly admirable qualities. But docile? I worry that DD1 is too docile...

Interesting that the word can have such different meanings for different people, just goes to show how easy it can be to say things that then get taken differently by different people.

Insomnia11 · 09/05/2011 18:09

Interesting SQ, as I think of it as meaning "gentle and kind", or the first meaning there, rather than the second.

I think I am (or try to be) 1. and 3. Some people definitely at first think I am also 2. They soon realise their error.

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 17:52

meek is also one of those words that sounds stupid in your head really quickly if you say it over again a few times

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 17:51

It's not what meek means to me. For info I looked it up on dictionary.com

meek
[meek] Show IPA
?adjective, -er, -est.
1.
humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.
2.
overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.
3.
Obsolete . gentle; kind.

It seems that the "better" meaning is obsolete - maybe this is what is meant in the bible but not in common usage in that sense any more?

Insomnia11 · 09/05/2011 16:54

I think all of those things are good qualities to have...but not just for women. But obviously you shouldn't 'back someone up' unconditionally...what if they are being a twat?

To me meek = considerate, sympathetic, ready to admit your faults, ready to compromise sensibly. It doesn't mean you lack assertiveness.

Original poster

thefinerthingsinlife · 09/05/2011 16:49

well just to make you all chuckle a little more, SIL joined a group on fb called 'Chastity-Abstinence-Education' so I had a passive agressive moment and asked if she practiced absentinence herself, I got a well, no response. (I was procrasinating, I've lost the will with my essay )

OP posts:

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 09/05/2011 14:36

It just reminds me of that church sign "The meek shall inherit the Earth - if that's alright with everyone?"

I am not sure what is good about being meek, to me it signifies bowing down before a higher power, being obedient and unassuming. Which is fine, if the higher power has everyone's best interests at heart and is infallible (as I assume was the idea with Christians WRT meekness before God), NOT so much when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I mean, if both people in a couple are being meek towards each other - does anything ever get done??

Humility on the other hand is always a nice quality.

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 13:52

Does Virtuous mean sexual virtue, or are there other sorts?

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 13:51

I'm not sure that "meek" is a universally desirable quality TBH

OTheHugeManatee · 09/05/2011 13:29

Well, it's certainly more acceptable to be rude, impatient, cruel, domineering, arrogant and sexually incontinent if you're a man.

But I don't think that makes it intrinsically bad or antifeminist to say that being well mannered, patient, kind, virtuous, meek, humble and always there to back up one's partner is necessarily a bad thing. The only problem I have with that list is that it needs the addition of 'takes no shit and doesn't suffer fools'.

MummyBerryJuice · 09/05/2011 13:24

Oh please do excuse my vulgarity.

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 13:20

I think you mean unpleasant unnecessaryness, mummyberry. To give it its proper name.

MummyBerryJuice · 09/05/2011 13:18

Fornication is MOST unladylike, SQ

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 12:55

NOT having sex obviously !

SardineQueen · 09/05/2011 12:54

Assuming they are having sex then I guess it's OK mummyberry.

If they are in fact having sex then I will around to have a word. Sex before marriage is most definitely a sin and most definitely not ladylike.

MummyBerryJuice · 09/05/2011 12:48

Ah, but they aren't married? How well does that sit within her fundaMentalist views?

Original poster

thefinerthingsinlife · 09/05/2011 12:24

It's not too bad as she lives 250 miles away so rarely see her, she mainly spouts this rubbish on facebook and her partner is wary of me as I've pulled him up on he sexist bile before.

OP posts:

Himalaya · 09/05/2011 11:04

Sounds like 'surrendered wife' religious claptrap to me.

How do you handle things with your SIL (and DH) when she comes up with shit like this?

Original poster

thefinerthingsinlife · 09/05/2011 09:27

@ garlicbutter. I agree.

OP posts:

garlicbutter · 09/05/2011 00:05

I know who SardineQueen is!!!!

She's one of the ladies with binoculars, out of the Aunt Bessie's commercials

Original poster

thefinerthingsinlife · 08/05/2011 20:35

Vom @ the word menfolk. Agh it's like nails down a chalkboard!

OP posts:

SybilBeddows · 08/05/2011 19:50

AmIAPayne · 08/05/2011 19:49

SardineQueen :)

SardineQueen · 08/05/2011 19:48

A proper wife is always home to serve up the supper on a freshly laid table.

Foil package in the fridge? I pity your menfolk.

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