First baby for a feminist, expecting a boy: where do I start??

Treat your baby/child as an individual with individual strengths/weaknesses/likes/dislikes.

Recognise that gender is in many ways a social construct and that it is ok for individuals to not conform to that construct, whether is's a little boy pushing a pink buggy; or a little girl refusing to wear a pretty dress to a party; or a little boy wanting his nails painted; or a little girl being loud and "unladylike" , or a little boy crying and not "being a man"

Challenge your ds when he parrots things like "x is only for boys" and "y is only for girls". Particularly where "only for girls" is seen by society as of less value - Interestingly, "only for girls" ime can be very very attractive to little boys, cf pink and glittery.

It's only a start, but I think it helps to stop the opposite sex being seen as "other".

Congratulations! I have a 9 month old DS and... erm... not got to deal with lots of gender - related stuff coming from HIM yet. Be prepared to hear him gendered by everyone you meet, though. My mother already says "isn't he strong? Isn't he big? He's such a boy!" - and while he IS strong and he is pretty huge, it's only the penis that makes him male, and that part's relatively tiny.... DM doesn't laugh when I say things like that. Oh well!

I have been recommended the book "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of boys" which is sitting on my desk, staring at me. We could have a thread about it in the book club section if you want to read along and discuss with me?

Disclaimer: I've no idea how that works - we could propose it to the regular book club, or just start our own thread inviting others to come read and discuss with us from Xstart date...

love, love and more love!!! I hope he's a lovely little chap and brings a lot of love into your life.
Little ones copy their parent(s)' behaviour, or that of the adults they spend a significant amount of time with. If he sees you and/or your partner being kind, generous, non judgemental, equitable and explaining why you think certain things are right or wrong etc then that's the way he will go (disclaimer...not between the ages of 18mnths and 4 though!)
Oh, and Steve Biddulph's 'Raising Boys' is great! as is the Mums and Sons chapter in Christopher Green's 'Babies!'
All the best with motherhood!

My DS was after DD, but tried to bring both up the same way. I also have no brothers so it was an eye-opener. I feel I understand men a little better now.

When 3 and asked whether he was the boss DS replied "I can't be a boss, I'm not a girl"

Sorry, not helpful and congratulations

Don't over-think the boy thing. They are an individual human being first and foremost...you will love them for the baby / child / teen that they become. Just feel your way with it and enjoy your lovely son.
I had a son first then a daughter, and I must admit when my son was born I did worry a bit about 'how would I relate to a boy child/ boy teen etc' but it was no harder than relating to my daughter. He was (and still is) a lovely boy and easy to relate to and enjoy. We can't make assumptions about our children based on their gender (not meaning that you are, but I did at first). Each child is different.
In respect of the counteracting stereotypes thing - there are no rules to this that a book could teach you. Just offer a wide variety of opportunities for play, learning and socialising as they grow up, be yourself and your children will absorb your value base via osmosis and by you being a role model. No need to make a big deal out of it - in fact making a big deal out of it just gives kids something to rebel against!

Congratulations. I'm expecting a boy too. I'll do the same with him as I did with dd. I'll raise him to be a well rounded little person who has the opportunity to be the person he is meant to be.

And I won't stand for all the crap that is pedalled about 'boys are like dogs, boys are rough, boys bugger off once they're married' etc any more than I will allow dd to hear that she is weak or a princess.

congratulations btw!

SB

I dunno, my 4yo said 'I want to smash the patriarchy' yesterday. But only because he doesn't know what it means and likes breaking things

congratulations! i am 9 weeks pregnant with 2nd, so no idea if it'll be a boy this time, but will be watching this thread to piggy back on advice if the need arises (hope you don't mind)... i find myself actively worrying about how to counter the terrible messages society gives to boys, even though it may not be the case that i will have to worry about it. (i worry about countering the messages society gives to dd as well, but at least i am familiar with those messages)

Congratulations!

First things first: try and gently dissuade well-wishers from buying everything in blue!!