Hi y'all
I am a fairly frequent lurker on the feminism topics, I haven't namechanged for this.
I am going to go to the police next week and report 'historic child abuse' from when I was 7/8/9 years old.
I have talked about this in other areas of the board and been told that mumsnet is not the place for it and am I sure I have not misinterpreted his actions etc which really fucked me off so I am putting this here in the hope that you guys will 'get it' / understand me (which I think you will)
I am, to put it politely, bricking it. To sit in a room with strangers and tell them, in detail, what this man did to me. What seems to lessen it in some peoples eyes is that he was 11 years old at the time - though no less a sociopathic, manipulative practised abuser for all that. I know that as far as he is concerned, he owns me. I have suffered for over 20 years because of his legacy. No exaggeration. My relationships, my view of sex, my (non-existent) trust in people, my confidence out in the world (again, zero) all have all been poisoned by him.
It all came out when I was 13 (as I basically lost the plot, started screaming about it and couldn't stop) and I had my idiot teachers and my evil mother explaining calmly how it was perfectly normal what he did to me (so all 8 year olds should have someones hand shoved down their knickers regularly? Really?) and how I was being over sensitive and overreacting and so on. Brushed under the carpet. mum said she might speak to his parents, decided the next day she wouldn't and that was the end of it.
It seems to me no matter how hysterical idiots people get about 'peedos' when it comes to children disclosing abuse nobody believes them, or they tell them that they are being silly. 
This is killing me. I had a breakdown last october (because of this and other issues) and I can't take anymore. I need to report him. i almost don't care what happens after that, I need to stand up and tell what he is. I am concerned other chilldren are at risk now. I hope that isn't the case but I don't imagine the bastard will have changed (if at 11 he had grooming down to a fine art....?)
Please reassure me that I will be able to do it and that I am doing the right thing. (I know I am)