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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Re-posted from AIBU

36 replies

changingmynameagain · 25/04/2011 16:04

I am re-posting this here on the advice of thefinerthings - hope you won't all laugh at me but this really really got up my nose.

Backstory - am looking to get a pop up tent - how boring.

Anyway, stockists locally are a major sports/camping retailer.

I was on the website looking to find out if they had the tent I wanted in stock to go and buy it, but also so that they could demonstrate it to me - how it goes up and down.

Anyway, I'm on the website filling in the "contact us" form and the only options for "Title" are

Mrs

Miss

Now, call me pedantic but I'm divorced, so I'm not a Mrs. I'm not a never married so I'm not a Miss.

There was NO OPTION for Ms.

For some reason this really got my goat and in the comments box of the page I actually typed

"Oh and for your information there's no option in your title box for Ms. I am divorced, therefore I am not a Mrs. I was married, therefore I am not a Miss. Please could you get some of your IT boffins to insert the option for Ms. In this day and age, I think it is unfair that the only options available on the form for a woman to have as a title refer to her marital status."

And yes, I know it's trivial but it got right up my nose.

OP posts:

shortarsefuck · 27/04/2011 20:46

This sort of thing really irritates me.

I don't see why there has to be two options.

Why can't it be one like for a man?

MrsClown · 27/04/2011 12:57

This would annoy me too. I am married but use Ms. Even more annoying is when we get letters to Mr and Mrs with my husbands initial and surname. I always write to the company informing them of my name and ask them to resend the letter with the correct addressee's name on. IT ENRAGES ME!!!!!

AliceWorld · 27/04/2011 08:41

Exactly. Do put that in your email too. Or a reply. I always reply.

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 27/04/2011 08:36

Thing is if it doesn't get challenged it will never change.

I was tempted to put "if they were asking for my sexual orientation would that be OK coz it has as much relevance"

OP posts:

AliceWorld · 27/04/2011 08:34

Doesn't surprise me you get that reaction. I relish in getting het up over things, much better than apathy, and I love to send a good email

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 27/04/2011 08:32

I have just been told, on my AIBU thread, that I am being U because I should have challenged them on it, but not emailed them.

Since my issue was with an email form, I'm slightly about how I should have challenged it?

Apparently, it's not worth getting het up over.

OP posts:

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 27/04/2011 08:13

Mr could be spelt Mmr if they are married

nooka · 27/04/2011 06:32

I always wonder why they need a title at all. Firstname surname is surely sufficient for billing or posting.

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 26/04/2011 22:55

I like the unmarried/married option for men

I think for me it stems from not really wanting to take my married name and being very clear (even if it's only in my own head lol) that I am not a Mrs as i'm not married anymore.

And Miss sounds either like it should be for a youngster, or a horrible spinster aunt

OP posts:

JessinAvalon · 26/04/2011 22:51

It's like me to be as irritated as you are by it! I'm glad to have some company!

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 26/04/2011 22:44

Jess - they are the only option for that tent. Unfortunately.

It really isn't like me to be this irritated!

OP posts:

AnnieLobePassoverSeder · 26/04/2011 20:01

I tend to just boycott sites that only have Mrs or Miss.

I bought something off a website based in France last week and was about to get in a strop that their only choices were Mr, Mrs or Dr, but then I realised there was no Miss - it was just the French translating Madame as generic adult female, so I forgave them.

JessinAvalon · 26/04/2011 19:56

I have to say that this woul dhave annoyed me so much that I probably would have e-mailed them and gone and bought a tent elsewhere.

celadon · 26/04/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 26/04/2011 17:46

Not surprised you were annoyed, I am definitely adopting the use of "Mr" or whatever seems funniest from the drop down list.

When men don't understand what this is about I offer to address them as Married Williamson or Unmarried Cameron or whatever.

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 26/04/2011 15:42

I am divorced, so that's why I changed from Mrs BUT Mrs never sat easily with me.

I hated my married named (even when I was happily married) and really wish I'd kept my maiden name.

having said that, I got married 20-odd years ago when it was just the done thing to change your name.

I wouldn't change now if I ever got married again.

I don't see why we can't have Ms once you're an adult and stick with it, like blokes do with Mr

OP posts:

MummyBerryJuice · 26/04/2011 15:42

and

pinkstinks · 26/04/2011 15:39

This irritates me too, A charity worker in the stree once tried to stop me by saying "excuse me miss..."
I replied "I am in fact a Ms"
and he said
"Oh but you look far too young to be divorced..."
I was but told him that in my case "ms" was irrlevant to marital status I just did not agree with a title referring only to my Marital Status.
I thought Ms was also whe someone refused to give/or did not acknowledge these constriants.
Do most people use it to convey divorced?

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 26/04/2011 15:36

Mummy - there wasn't an option for Rev/Dr/Lord/Lady either!

I await further developments.....

Was tempted to see how many Mnetters I could round up to email them but that would be petty

OP posts:

MummyBerryJuice · 26/04/2011 15:36

I should probably come clean here though and admit that I pick and choose which name I use (along with which title) depending on the scenario.

I use the one that is most advantageous to me at the time

MummyBerryJuice · 26/04/2011 15:33

This irritates me too. Why should it matter what my marital status is? As you say one is a Mr once you reach majority whether or not one is married.

I'm lucky as I just use 'Dr' most of the time but it still pisses me right off.

Oh and the other thing is surnames... I know this gets done to death but why should a woman's identity be erased when she gets married and replaced with a different one?

It was something I never really though of until I realised that there are many women I went to school with who I wouldn't 'recognise' by name.

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 26/04/2011 15:24

I have had a short email reply from James at Decathalon to say that they have the tent in stock and he has sent my query (huh?) reference my title to the IT people at head office.

I replied Thanks James I'll be down in the next few days to look at the tent. I am genuinely puzzled as to why my marital status is relevant to my ability to purchase a tent

He started the email Dear Miss changing

Even though I said in the original email I was a Ms

GRRRRR

And sighs

OP posts:

msrisotto · 26/04/2011 08:29

YANBU.

Original poster

changingmynameagain · 25/04/2011 21:25

I will. I'm fuming, and normally stuff like this doesn't bother me, but this has really got my hackles up

OP posts:

thefinerthingsinlife · 25/04/2011 21:23

please let us know what they say OP

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