Ways it's more expensive to be a woman

Perhaps I have always dated cheap men.....

In my expensive female perfume is no more expensive than male perfume.

I think possibly having VAT on sanitary items seems ludicrous now because disposable products are so much more the norm. So in 1973 when it was brought in, it was more of a choice similar to the reusable/disposable nappies choice we have today, and so disposable sanitary protection would have been seen as a luxury, I'm guessing?

When I was looking this up I also found it had changed in 2001, we are only charged 5% on sanitary items now rather than the full VAT amount.

Ephiny I've stopped reading women's magazines for that very reason (and also because they're shit) - if I do pick up a magazine in a waiting room or something, I suddenly find myself wanting loads of new make-up/clothes/shoes... just more new stuff generally. If I don't read magazines or go in shops then I have no idea what the 'latest' stuff is and I end up being happy with my wardrobe how it is.

I'm the same, Ephiny.
I buy shoes when my old ones wear out. Most shoes, as far as I can see, are designed for fancy dress or gardening-when-you're-65.

I do occasionally buy clothes but it's a drag. I've started making things, which fit (but this is a luxury activity in terms of time and money when you compare prices to low-end clothing). I can see the appeal of good clothes but I don't see very many good clothes around in my price range or for my height, ergo, not really a fun side of life for me.

I do have make-up but some of it is 21 years old (bought with my first student grant ) - I've been told that it's unhygienic to keep make up for more than a year. What utter tosh (it's an eye pencil btw so it gets sharpened regularly!).

I have jewellery but rarely wear it (incl wedding ring, was shocked to learn that in-laws think my marriage is rocky because of this, even though dh doesn't wear one).

prefume is always more expensive than aftershave - but is that because they know woman will not spend as much on aftershave as men will on perfume?

I've always been quite oblivious to many of the things that women supposedly 'have' to do, e.g. never worn make up or any kind of jewellery as it just really has never occurred to me to do it.

I don't get the thing about weddings/parties either as I own one dress and one pair of 'proper women's shoes' (flats) that I put on for any formal occasion. Just as DP has a suit and pair of dress shoes. And my dress cost about £30 (I think, bought it many years ago), which is surely a lot less than his suit/shirt/tie cost. I seriously had no idea until I came on MN that you were supposed to buy new stuff all the time.

I don't think my shoes cost more than men's ones (probably less if anything as they're smaller?), and I don't have more shoes than DP - am I supposed to?

Maybe it's because I've never read women's/fashion magazines? Or where do these 'rules' come from and how do women find out about them? And why do they feel they have to comply with them?

Sorry (not enough tea this morning) I meant to add that that woman pops up quite regularly in my mind when I see adverts aimed at women, and she has single-handedly put me off buying into the nonsense!

Sorry, I just reiterated what everyone is saying.
As a 20-yr-old, I got cornered at a party by a rather nutty friend-of-a-friend who was bemoaning the fact that we, as women, now had to buy whatever the latest pink razor for women was at the time. She was deadly serious. Complaining that she was a target, yet at the same time submitting to it. I really can't stand that attitude: it's vaguely pathetic.

Very true, Prunnhilda, but it is not always easy to resist the pressure to conform.

Of course, they don't want customers like me, anyway, the companies would have gone broke waiting for me to buy anything! I tend to be sparing even with the things I do buy!

Confused about pensions.

Most of the other things (not sanitary wear of course - and for that problem I would recommend the contraceptive injection - no periods!) are optional. I do choose to spend more on shoes than DP, but in return for my cash I get to have a wider variety of shoes to wear.

If you feel you are being targeted and 'expected' to buy goods aimed at women, then you have the consumer power to resist this. You don't have to conform to a marketing executive's definition of a female consumer.

You are right of course Goblinchild but it is hard.

Day to day I am perfectly happy being a jeans n glasses wearing frizzy haired scruff and think that I look okay. But, on a night out when everyone else is in little dresses and heels I tend to feel a little bit bad

where on earth do you buy a mooncup, anyway? I've only ever heard of them on Mumsnet.

treaclesponge - even using cheap make-up is more expensive than using none at all, which is what the vast majority of men do. And when you don't want to buy lots of clothes, you come under pressure to do so, like bucaneve with her cocktail dresses (and me and the moment, as I think there is nothing wrong with the trouser suit I wore to the last occasion requiring formal clothing, and I don't want to buy a different outfit.)

WRT to work clothes I would say my DH spends a lot more on his than I do on mine. Men's suits are very expensive, especially if you want a decent one and he needs quite a few as he wears them every day. So he spends at least 150 quid on a suit while I can get a very nice trouser and top combination for about 70 quid. Plus I can usually buy work things that will also go with jeans so I can wear my work clothes casually too whereas DH can't. Of course this situation varies from person to person but I don't think it's a fair assumption to make that women always spend more on work clothes. Casual and going out clothes are probably a different matter.

Who would have judged you for your hairy pits?
Men or women?
I've found the pressure to conform comes mostly from other women.

Yes, it's definitely a good thing to try and resist that pressure

It's bloody hard though! I had to give up on the resisting femininity thing because I just couldn't face going to my dance class with hairy armpits

Isn't that the point though? To resist the pressures to conform according to society's decrees on what is acceptable in appearance and behaviour for a female? To encourage men to do the same for male stereotypes?
My father was horrified to find my DS uses cleanser and moisturiser, because that's for women.
How are things to change if we don't challenge them?
This is not a point against those who choose to wear 'female' clothing and make up, just that it should be an active choice rather than 'because we have to'

sakura, good point there. No, a lot of this stuff isn't necessary, but society/advertisers/beauty companies etc put a fantastic amount of pressure on women to believe that it is. It's possible to be well-groomed and not spend masses of money on it - you can do as the men do clothes-wise and just have a few nice suits, then use cheap make-up and cut your own hair - but it does still require a lot of effort. More, perhaps, than if you were willing to just spend the money.

I do think it's ridiculous that we're charged VAT on sanitary products though. You can bet that they wouldn't have VAT if men needed to use them too. And yes, mooncups are brilliant, but not everyone knows about them/can use them/wants to use them.

On the whole probably not juuule, I only mentioned it because I was talking about hair removal with two of my friends yesterday and we had a friendly disagreement about it. I think they thought it was a bit ewww that I'm perfectly okay with being hairy, but tbh I thought they were even weirder putting hot wax on their lady bits!

'In the sex industry the amount of money a woman would need to spend on the upkeep of her appearance is far more. '

Surely a good reason to oppose being judged on your appearance.

I am petite, well washed, well groomed and wear simple blouses and skirts or dresses to work. I wear low heels and jewellery.
I have never been told that I need to up my game in the feminine stakes, or been held back fro promotion and I would have challenged it had it been mentioned as a consideration.
People can tell you what you should be doing as much as they like, your choice is whether to comply or not.

Are women looked at oddly if they don't wax? I have never waxed (have shaved) and don't recall being looked at oddly (well not for that anyway). I don't think I could tell what method of hair removal anyone used.

not really a choice is it. many MANY women have are required to look well-groomed for their job, many are required to appear feminine, and I'm just talking about run of the mill retail work here, or an office job. Smart haircut, well-presented make-up, variety of smart-looking clothes. The requirements for men are very differnt.

In the sex industry the amount of money a woman would need to spend on the upkeep of her appearance is far more.

Add to that, you ahve to consider the millions of pounds spent by marketing corporations of convincing women they need these products. Marketeers are designed to hit women where their self-esteem is softest. That's their job. Buy this and you'll be/feel more beautiful/successful/happy/content. Doesn't matter whether you can rationalize it, your subconscious is taking in all these messages all the time.